I am tired. And my full day was full starting with my as-of-late 3:30am wake up with a kid song in my head. I don’t even know what it is. Heard it for the first time in Portland last weekend, where we drove to stare at our new niece for a few days. Something about a watermelon by the bay. I can’t remember it during the day but, for the last three nights, at 3:30, I wake with one verse happily playing on repeat in my tired brain. Actually, I had woken at 3am because Margot had her first night in her big girl bed with a 3am wooo! I can get up if I want to! We have been reading and playing ring around the rosies in the bed for a few weeks and last night she hopped up and said my bed. my blanket. my elmo. nigh night. That’s really what she said. And so she slept until we heard oh elmo! at three and then rapid-fire running in the pitch black hallway. I don’t know where she was going but she was going and so Andy caught the jogging monkey and brought her to our bed where she identified all of my facial features for a good 15 minutes before crashing and then I woke with the watermelon by the bay.
My good friend watches bug on Wednesdays so I had my hurried morning, eating while driving and got to work by a squeak for a meeting. And then another meeting. Inhaled a burrito. Database and letter writing and sponsorship planning. Work is busy. And my belly is big. And my mind is racing about how I only have a few months left and then I leave my job of seven years for a different sort of job that begins with pushing a kid out of my body.
I got home and scooped up Margot, kissing her cheeks that I really wish I could bite, and headed to the grocery for some sitz bath and ipa and headed to friends who just had a baby. I held the little Magnolia (how sweet is that name?) and thought about the kid performing the macarena in my belly at the same moment. It is so wild. So impossible that I am growing a human. I thought about how, in a few months, I will be holding her. I will be a mama of two. I will harness love from somewhere deep and beautiful to adore yet another person as much as I do Margot. At least that is what they tell me. I will cry because my purpose will be a little crisper. I will reinvent my direction and reunderstand my soul.
oh how I love my niece and my sister (in law but, really, just sister)
Margot and I then raced to our house to devour (again) tomatoes (ohmygod do we have tomatoes) and noodles that my man lovingly prepared and we all headed to a neighborhood social, the sweet effort of a family on our block for us all to get to know each other. We live in an old neighborhood, our house built in 1920. So, spacing is close and we have boulevards with maples and sidewalks and alleys. And dozens of people all grabbed a dessert (ours was store bought which I hate but, really, minutes are finite) and met on a corner where we talked to each other with which house is yours and what do you do and what’s your daughter’s name? It was lovely and, well, neighborly. We’ve lived here for five years and there are people one block away that we didn’t know. And it was happening at the same moment our rock star president was addressing the country about our broken, UNneighborly health care system. It was a heartening way to end the day. It’s time to take care of each other. Preventative medicine. Share food. Know your neighbors.
And we were home after Margot’s bedtime which really isn’t a time at all especially when there are cool things to experience. I was still in my work clothes and I could barely move once I sat heavy on Margot’s bed, holding inside-out pjs and a diaper cover. An exhale of holistic exhaustion. But we jammied and brushed and snuggled and read Louise, Adventures of a Chicken. An then I took my bra off which made me weak in the knees it felt so great. And now I am comfy and fulfilling my hump day post promise even if it isn’t nuggets but more like a nug, a giant lump of words trying to describe a day.
sweet watermelon-by-the-bay dreams out there
21 Comments
Down by the bay
Where the watermelons grow
Back to my home
I dare not go
For if I do
My mother will say…
Did you ever see a whale with a polka dot tail?
Down by the bay?
Thanks, eversomuch. Stuck in my head, now, too.
is that a lone cowboy boot i spot in second picture?
i’m so hearin’ you with the bra. sometimes, when the last hook unsprings and the pregnant gigantors are released…i can hear angels sing somewhere.
nici, she’s heaven and i can’t wait to see how you expand your beautiful life to welcome this next one. beautiful pics. xoxo
i luh me some hump day nugs.
Thanks for carving out time to post. Even tired you offer the world important perspectives and nuggets.
So bummed I missed you guys in Portland. That first photo of Margot in the blog is so cool. Has an interesting contrast of elements.
Margot….is that you behind that sweet toothy grin? You have changed so much in just 1 month. I wish I could kiss your cheeks too! AND now you are a first cousin…next a BIG sister! You have to do me a favor. Please don’t run in the dark….it scares me. Thank you.
Nici, I know what you mean about songs running wild in you brain. Mine has been Jason Mraz, “I’m Yours” & has been for months.
What will this new little Cline girl look like? Will she have big brown eyes like her Papa and sister or will she have the blue ones like her Mama and Gram? I can hardly wait to hold her, not long now.
I wish I lived closer so I could help you. When you admit to being tired I know you are really, really TIRED. Please take good care of yourself and let the not so important things slide.
Finally, neighbors are a good thing and Obama…YES!
xoxo Mom/Gram
To be truthful, I tear sprang into my eye as he gave his speech. I so want this change to happen. He’s right – no one should go broke because they get sick. Really, now.
thank you for yet another lovely post. love it. needed it this morning. xo
the pic of Margot in her rain coat = Perfect 🙂
youtube “raffi + down by the bay”
warning…your kid will love raffi and want to listen to him a lot (but he isn’t as bad as most!)
Hey! Love the pics of PDX – so good to see those wonderful people and the new little one! Congrats on becoming an Auntie, Uncle and Cousin! Give them all my love and take good care of yourself too! Such great photos you always take! xoxo
“Down by the bay, where the watermelons grow, back to my home, that’s where I’ll go….and if I did, my mother would say…have you ever seen a Goose kissing a Moose! Down by the bay……
i love the visual stories you describe in your blog!!
The light bulb went on over my head this morning you had posted Wed. after all. I charged in here with my java and glugged both down.
I love the photos of Aida and Neysa. It’s very hard to live so far away from them right now. I can’t believe we’re the only relative who haven’t seen her, yet.
By the way, I love the little photo of Margot at the museum in the little MAM mag we got in the mail.
Love you guys.
Yep, everyone that tells you that the love will be there when you need it is absolutely right. I wondered the same thing waiting for my second little one. It was the most amazing thing. And honestly, I think I ended up with more than double. Enjoy this magical time with two but not two kids, you will always remember it as a very special quiet window, like the few short weeks between the change of the seasons.
I agree, etch these moments in your mind. When we only had Mae and Otto was on the way, I remember her falling asleep in my arms. I walked over to the window looking out over the mountain and etched that minute over and over until I had it forever. Now I stand there and think of her and me and her asleep in my arms while Otto was kicking away in my tummy. I have little places like that etched all around the house.
The other day (the other day)
I saw a bear (I saw a bear)
A great big bear (a great big bear)
Oh way up there (oh way up there)
The other day I saw a bear, a great big bear oh way up there.
This is my curse, but my special time is 1:30a. WTF?!
So looking forward to SBC tomorrow. xo
Michelle, I keep returning to your comment…the analogy of the few quiet weeks between seasons. It’s beautiful. Thanks.
OMG that bra bit killed me. I love your writing style.
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