hump day nuggets: I’m rich

hump day nuggets: little bits of the season in photos and (few) words about the last week

Well geez. I cannot believe the outpouring of love this week while my man is all dopey, and quite funny, on painkillers…child care, pots of soup, text, phone and facebook love. How did I end up so lucky and isn’t it remarkable that the week I have been dreading is turning out to be one of my most favorite weeks ever. A week where I find peace in the knowledge that I am RICH in everything that really matters to me: friends, family, community. My village.

:: When I was a kid and home from school sick, my mom would make a bed on our couch, carefully tucking the cool sheets and piling layers of heavy blankets to make an irresistibly cozy place to rest. Next to me was a small table holding the Essentials for Healing: tissues, tv remote, phone and a grape juice slushie with a bendy straw. At some point I ate a brothy soup with skinny noodles.

The magic slushie is grape juice concentrate blended with ice and sometimes a splash of ginger ale.

My mom would watch movies with me and sweep my hair out of my face and kiss my forehead. Being home sick was kinda the best because of my mom. Now that I have a family it is interesting to notice which traditions I create on my own and which of my mom’s I embrace and memorialize. The care of an ailing family member is one practice my mom perfected and I am proud to attempt its reproduction. And, so, this week, Andy reclines on a couch bed and sips grape slushies with a bendy straw, a table with essentials within arm’s reach. And I kiss his forehead.

:: Neighborhood walks with Margot and Alice. They always seem like a good idea and most of the time are but sometimes I feel like I am unfairly tethered between a dog who wants to run and a kid who wants to count all the rocks in Missoula.

But it is those walks where I am problem-solving the whole time and getting all flustered about the inconsistent pace, that I seem to come home laughing (after swearing).

Check out those new boots! We splurged on some burly Montana boots to keep tiny toes warm when she is on her first pair of skis this winter.

Because, really, although annoying at times, I love that my daughter loves the intricacies of rocks and can count to 13 with confidence. And, I love that my dog is so curious with her world that she can’t get there fast enough. And, then, I love the moments when those two worlds collide with a hug.

:: Rediscovering our library. I don’t ever go and that is changing starting last Monday.

Notice that tiny bum? Yes, bug is now an undie-wearing girl most of the time.

:: I am fired up. My midwife, Jeanne Hebl, was recently, unfairly banned from Community Medical Center, the only hospital in Missoula that delivers babies. So, for me, this means that if something were to come up during my home birth and I needed additional care at a hospital, my practitioner, whom I trust, whom we chose, cannot come with me. But the issue is way bigger than me and my choices. It is about continuity of care. It is about patient-centric policy making. It is about empowering women to make the choices that are best for them and their family. And so I am meeting with the CMO later this week and my voice will be heard until this changes. I actually don’t think I have ever felt so motivated to move a boulder. And I don’t know if Community understands the herculean strength of a determined 8 1/2-month pregnant woman. I am intentionally being brief because this shit storm is very complicated but I promise to write more later. In the meantime, if you are a Missoulian motivated by this infringement, write a statement expressing why it is important to you to have choice in your labor and delivery support at your hospital. Email it to me at digthischick at gmail dot com by Thursday night.

:: My girl and gwawing. She asks to gwaw several times a day and the art-making station I set up for her works perfectly. It makes me a proud mama.

:: A friend organized a pre-babe getaway/baby blessing kinda thing at Jackson Hot Springs last weekend. Eight women landed in the Big Hole Valley for one full day of laughing, soaking, eating and bit more laughing. I was so present and relaxed and just wholly happy.

One of the loveliest elements was experienced over breakfast just before we were to leave. Each of these extraordinary women brought a bead. The beads will be strung onto a bracelet that I will wear when I am rocking and moaning and pushing a kid into my world next month. Each shared words, while rolling and loving the bead in their palm, before handing the object to me. They explained the layers and the colors and the history of their choice…every bead was carefully chosen for my soul and, well, I just sat there inhaling and exhaling the bright air. Those still, grounding minutes around a table in a town with a population of 35 on a Sunday morning moved me into the last weeks of my pregnancy with a positive energy that will undoubtedly hold on until we meet our girl.

23 Responses to hump day nuggets: I’m rich

  1. Malissa says:

    Hi there, that picture of you at the bar is PRICELESS!! Is your midwife a “nurse” midwife? I guess what I am asking is if she is an advanced practice nurse. There is a lot of turf war right now between APN’s and MD’s. I remember reading about a story in Butte a couple of years back that involved one physician restricting two nurse practitioners from sending their patients for radiology at the only place in town to get imaging done. He would not recognize the NP’s orders as legitimate. The patients would end up driving to Missoula to get their testing done. They eventually closed their doors after lawsuits and heart aches. You may of heard of this? Here in Idaho Falls NP’s, and nurse midwives must be sponsored by a doctor to enter the hospital and care for a patient. In Idaho I can start my own practice free of any connection with a physician. But if I have a patient that needs hospitalized I am unable to follow them in the hospital unless I have a physician to oversee me. This is an issue that the American Association of Nurse Practitioners is working on. I will write a letter to my senator while I am thinking about this issue and encourage you to do the same. We live in states where access to good health care is difficult and old fashioned, “good old boy” policy will not work! Somethings gotta give and it starts with people like you and I protesting and educating policy makers and our communities about the issue and how valuable APN’s are. Well that is my soapbox. Have a great hump day!

  2. TRB Holt says:

    Nici~ well once again you have made your mother cry. Your skill of writing, care of your family, friends, animals and community make me swell with so much pride that it over flows with tears!

    Margot, Love your new boots! Just what you need to “hit the slopes”, did you know your mama was on skis at age 2 also? With all the talent in your mama & papa, of course your love of gawing is one of your passions…send me a new picture ok? You melt my heart with the love you have for Alice. You look too grown up with your new hairdo and big-girl panties…where did that baby go?! I need to get a “Gram fix” very soon!

    To all you incredible ladies who give Nici the gift of love ~ through support, beads and a wondrous weekend get-a-way I thank you!

    WATCH OUT MCM, when my daughter gives you fare warning of a “shit storm” brewing, you had better hit the closet underground cellar….consider yourself warned twice now! AND oh by the way, SHAME on you!!!

    Burb, this photo of you needs to be on the cover of some magazine! Do you have a Nike or Polo logo on anything you have on? This is priceless!!!…. also my new desktop background.

    Thanks for starting my day off with this HDN!!

    xoxo, Mom/Gram

    ps…thinking about you too Andy!

  3. TRB Holt says:

    In going back and rereading, is it just my imagination or does it look like Margot,(4th photo of her on the walk), is levitating off the sidewalk?!!!

  4. Kelle says:

    nici! the bar picture is one of my most favorites ever. inspiring. and love the bead story…how special that bracelet will be.
    love how you use your voice…it is strong. i would listen. hope they do too.
    and margot bea…what a little wonderful unique you are. xoxo

  5. mrs chux says:

    um, i was about to write that I wanted more info on the belly/bar shot, but as they say “a picture is worth…”. fuggin cracking up at it. haaaaaaa!

  6. Heather says:

    holy shit, that last picture is so completely awesome that i am vowing to go look at it when i am grumpy because – how could you be grumpy while looking at it??????!!!

  7. joan says:

    Just what I needed this AM. I am wondering if Andy was sucking his blended Beef Stew through the bendy straw yesterday. I think that boy is going to GAIN weight in the next couple weeks. And I was worried that he would loose weight.

    Margot can count to 13? Wow that is good really good. Does she have a library card? So many books to pick from.

    The tribute to your ma was very sweet. I wonder what Andy would say about my healing skills. My mom gave me a shot of whiskey when I was home with Menstral cramps. That I remember.

    I will see you soon. XOXO

  8. jen says:

    turf wars huh? that crap makes me so angry. my midwives were “discontinued” when i was 8 months pregnant from the clinic that i was already at. i expressed (loudly) my displeasure … and walked out and found another clinic WITH midwives. lucky for me i had that option. i just had to drive 20 minutes to the hospital … instead of 3 minutes. crazy.
    and now my first midwife is back delivering babies. she is a strong woman that gets shit done. it’s amazing the changes that she’s made in the almost 3 years since i had cora, even. silly things … like being allowed to give birth in the tub that you are already in. before cora was born she had to fight to get to use a birthing stool. they wanted everyone to give birth on the bed. argh. so ridiculous. go for it, girl. make yourself heard. you can do it. you have the power of a pregnant mama. we get things done.
    oh yeah, and what a very special bracelet. you have some truly amazing friends.
    amazing mother, amazing daughter, amazing husband, amazing friends, amazingly courage to stand in front of a bar with a baby belly.
    thinking of you and all of your riches.

  9. Melissa says:

    The hospital where I delivered Avi (though I was crowning at home and shoulda just stayed put) banned doulas, of all things. So we lied and said she was our friend attending the birth w us. So ridiculous. If I were there I would help in any way I could.

    So many blessings to you and your baby to be, your girl and your man.

    Love that photo of you.

  10. Katie says:

    Good luck this week Nici. I’ll be sending tons of thoughts for positive change your way.

    I always love your photos but the last one in this post is quite possibly my absoulte favorite.

    xoxo, k

  11. Kathie says:

    I just “discovered” your wonderful blog today and wanted to say that I look forward to coming back and reading more!

  12. FinnyKnits says:

    Well that takes the effin cake right there – look at you at that bar!

    My friend, please frame a print of this in your house somewhere. And put it in the baby’s book. And just make sure that when your kidlets grow up they are aware of how awesome their mama is.

    Also, and as always, the shot of Margot hugging Alice is precious and chokes me up a little bit.

  13. Sage says:

    Nici, well you know I think this last pic is just so fucking amazing… so enough of that. But, I am super excited for Margot’s first ski winter, and have a little something to send her to help keep those fingers toasty. Would you email me your mailing address, and I will get it off?

    The beads from your friends.. wow. I too have had those kind of moments with friends & family, when you just can’t believe how lucky you are to have them in your life and the love they give…. well, it is what life is all about. I am sooooo happy for you. It makes my heart swell to know you have that in your life. You are a very strong and amazing woman. Your midwife is lucky to have you. Best of luck to you all with healing, birthing, and loving. xoxo

  14. j.j. says:

    OK, I had almost the same ‘sick day’ care as you explained! Chipped ice with 7 Up and a bendy straw (!) on a chair beside our couch….man, did that ever bring back some memories! I too do the same for my sick family – carry on those little but meaningful, and apparently very memorable, traditions.

    To me, the last picture says something to the effect of “bold and beautiful women of montana, belly up!” I love it and you rock.

  15. Gillian says:

    ah girl, what a full life! i’ll get working on that letter tomorrow. thinking about your dopey man and will check in when i clear out on fri to see what you guys need.

  16. I am glad everyone likes the bar pic as much as I do!

    Wow. I hadn’t heard that ridiculous and sad Butte story. It is the same in Montana as Idaho: Jeanne is a nurse midwife and she needs a sponsoring physician to deliver babes at the hospital. But it is recent that she can’t go to the hospital at all (even if she needed care). So it’s two separate issues and the one I am fighting for right now is for her to be able to accompany me to the hospital as labor support. Seems to me like I should be able to have whatever friends and family I choose at my birth. Glad you are writing a letter.

    jen: How frustrating. I am really learning what a national issue this is! blech. Makes my stomach turn to think my unborn kid and I are just numbers in the system. Our option would be to drive 50-60 minutes to a hospital down the valley. So, if something goes wrong, that is the plan right now, but if it is an emergency that is pushing me out of my home and into the hospital, of course, we will drive the two miles to CMC. Hope your pregnancy is going well!

    Melissa: Banned doulas!? wtf. That seems so counter intuitive to anyone who knows anything about birth I don’t even know what to say.

  17. Sage, Finny, Kelle: I forgot to mention how rich I feel because of my blog friends too! An unexpected and lovely surprise to blogging. Sage, how sweet of you. I will send off my address.

  18. I am glad you switched to the library because Margot and the dog and your mama making you grape slushies was making tears.. but then I got ticked hearing about your midwife. I wish you wisdom and strength and numbers in that battle.
    Love the last photo too :)

  19. Sara says:

    Hi there!
    Love that last photo! I hope your husband is feeling better…and that’s crap that your midwife would not be able to come to the hospital with you….(but don’t worry too much…you won’t need to go to that darn hospital!) Thumbs up to homebirth!…we had all four of ours at home.
    much love to you in these last couple weeks of pregnancy!

  20. dakota says:

    Hi there, yes, the “rule” banning Jeanne is ridiculous and I’m also very upset. I’m crossing my fingers that nothing goes wrong and I don’t have to go to the hospital. And if I have the time, I’ll try to get to Marcus Daly instead of Community. I’ve been watching the discussion on the Missoulian pages and it’s amazing how ignorant people can be. We had our first birth class with Lindsey last night, and all of us in there are angry about this too. Hopefully with enough of us speaking out, they’ll give in. I’m sure it won’t change their underlying reasons… but hopefully we can choose who we want with us!