today my life changes forever

I was sewing yesterday afternoon when the labor bracelet my friends made me flew off my wrist. It just snapped and beads pinged and bounced and rolled all over my studio.

Several hours later, I went to bed and then decided to go back to Andy to lay spoons on the couch and I said, when do you think this baby is coming? and he said, a week and, a few minutes later, I said, my water just broke.

We laughed and scurried about our home. Andy moved furniture and inflated the birth tub. I gathered candles and checked on Margot every ten minutes. I swept her hair from her eyes and kissed her cheeks. Her last night as My Only Child. I cried….feeling excited and afraid.

And now, with a dusting of this morning’s snow out there in the black black night, my household sleeps and I drink tea, breathing easy through these first dull contractions. Soon. Soon the abstract movement in my swollen belly will become the fourth person in my family. Soon I will push a human out of my body. Soon I will meet my daughter.

66 Responses to today my life changes forever

  1. Deb says:

    Oh good luck! Just think as I’m writing this you’re doing something momentous!

    Sending you lots of good labour vibes. Can’t wait to ‘meet’ your little one.

    PS. So impressed that you were calm and collected enough to blog! Amazing!

  2. Kelle says:

    Tears. Got your text at 6:30 and have been thinking of you ever since. It’s dark and quiet here and I am imagining the dark and maybe not-so-quiet of your home right now. Love to you and these beautiful, changing moments. My girl is kicking as I type. Oh, more tears my friend! Xoxo

  3. nytesong says:

    Um…Wow! I just found your blog and what a first entry (for me) to read! I’ve not scrolled beyond this first entry yet, but you have my best wishes for a safe and smooth labor and delivery of a healthy little one!


  4. Ann says:

    I hope all goes well. Your blog means so much to me as I have a 3 month old. I always read it at work while I am pumping. I would like to send you a baby gift. What address should I mail it to?
    Ann Allen

  5. Your family in AZ are all thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts! Good luck and we can’t wait to hear all about it! You are an amazing woman Nici, and an amazing wife and mother. We can’t wait to hear about your journey into a world of four. CONGRATULATIONS MAMA! DADDY! AND BIG SISTER MARGOT!!!!


    All our love,
    Tim, Susan, Charlie and Jimmy

  6. booksNyarn says:

    Sending you lots of peaceful Mother energy through the ether. Many happy blessings to your family!

  7. Malissa says:

    Congratulations! So excited to see your post. I hope your new baby is healthy and everything is going along smoothly! I really enjoy your blog; it has become a daily routine for me. My yummy am rocket java coffee and “dig” before work. I would love to send you a little baby gift in return for all of the enjoyment you have given me through your writing about your life experiences. And also just because I really want to send something! Could I get an address to mail it to as well? Anyways, hope you all are cuddling and smiling over your new baby in your warm little house. Malissa.

  8. lera says:

    Good luck!!! Maybe baby girl is already here?!?

    (I remember crying the night I left my first son to give birth to my second son. Same feelings as you described.)

  9. TRB Holt says:

    OH sweetie! I am so with you in thought, I anxiously await your phone call! Tears of joy….

    Are you ready Margot? Here comes your baby sister!


  10. Chiot's Run says:

    Congrats, I hope all goes well!

  11. j.j. says:

    Best Wishes Nici, Andy, Margot and sweet baby….all our love is coming your way.

    xoxo jj, greg, sol and poppy

  12. Katie says:

    Oh, Nici! At this point, you’re probably either laboring really hard or have already met your babe. Sending all my love & strength….xoxo

  13. Caroline says:

    all our love love love love love love love love to you all!!! Can’t wait!!!( Margot, this one’s for you, and she’s even BETTER than a pony!) xxoo Peaceful, easy birthing!

  14. barbaras says:

    We’re thinking of you! Can’t wait for the first family of four (plus the animals:) post.
    Love, Barbara

  15. I can’t find the comment I just sent, so here it goes again..maybe the first one will show up later.

    We can hardly wait to greet and meet our new, little great niece. You will always remember this day as the day you gave Margot the best gift EVER. Of course, you two get the gift as well…so what a wonderful life! We love you,
    Aunt Lorie and Uncle Joe

  16. Jean says:


    I am thinking about you constantly with love.

  17. Heather says:

    Rockin’. So completely excited to know – thinking of you HARD.



  18. Marty says:

    Oh my! I hope your labor and delivery is super easy and I can’t wait to hear about the new babe. Funny thing, yesterday I checked your blog and thought “she’s going to have that baby very, very soon!” Then today I see you really are!

  19. Marty says:

    Oh, and I would like to send a gift, too, so when things settle down (!) I’d love a mailing address.

  20. Shay says:

    So excited to hear the news, I’ll be sending good thoughts your way all day!!! Good luck!!

  21. Linda says:

    Oh yay Nici! Many thoughts and prayers for a speedy delivery. Cannot wait to see pictures of your precious baby girl!

  22. mrs chux says:

    sending power pushing thoughts to my friend up north. xoox, lisa

  23. Sending huge armfulls of warm love and light your way. Congratulations to your entire family. I’m so happy for y’all!

  24. Jenn says:

    yahoo! lovelovelove you and so excited. xoxo

  25. farmama says:

    Wishing you lots of strength! I hope by now you have your sweet baby girl in your arms!
    love, sara

  26. Ellie says:

    Nici, wishing you a peaceful, powerful birth- what a lovely day to be born, just on the edge of winter! So excited for you, and for that moment when the whole world stops and you see her face for the first time! My thoughts are with you today!

  27. Anonymous says:

    Can’t wait to welcome grandbaby #2!


  28. Marcy says:

    Ohhhh, so exciting! What a wonderful Thanksgiving it will be! Let me know if you need anything. We would love to take Margot to the park or for dinner. xoxoxox

  29. JUST HEARD! CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF YOU. We will be waiting the hear the name and the rest of the vitals. Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas.

    Aunt Lorie and Uncle Joe

  30. Summer says:

    So exciting Nic. Here’s wishing you an easy easy labor and delivery. Can’t wait to meet number 2. Your post made me cry. Love to you all.

  31. Anonymous says:

    so excited for this next stage of you and andy’s lives. love you to death and missing you. hoping we have a baby by now!

  32. jen says:

    is it silly to say that i’ve been so excited for this post to come?
    thrilled for you darling. wishing so much peace to your new family as you venture into the family of 4.
    life with 2 girls is so beautiful. not ALWAYS peaceful. but beautiful nonetheless.

  33. Lurky Mommy says:

    Oh yay and hooray! I’m praying for a beautiful and peaceful and exciting delivery for you with no undue drama. The collective heart of your family is about to overflow with more love than you thought possible! Congratulations to you all. Can’t wait to see the pics and get to know her.

  34. TM_Erin says:

    The internet is awesome. I was drinking my coffee this morning thinking, I wonder when Dig This Chick will have her baby. Because that is how I think of you, as “Dig This Chick”…”Nici” feels to familiar.

    So, Dig, GOOD LUCK! Big prayers and good thoughts coming at you from UT.

  35. Sage says:

    Oh Nici, you probably have had your little love by now, but I am just so happy for you and this post made me cry like mad! xoxo to you and yours.

  36. FinnyKnits says:

    All my hairs just stood up on that one! Wow!

    I bet you’re cuddling up with all of your wee ones right now, and enjoying a bunch of firsts with that new little chicken.

    Enjoy. Congrats. Big love.

  37. Tammi says:

    What a beautiful post Nici. It brought tears to my eyes. Welcome to the world little bebe!

  38. Aunt Deb says:

    We are so happy and relieved for you, Andy, and Margot. I got the pic on the phone. What a beautiful babe. I hear that Margot isn’t too excited about the whole thing yet. They will be such great friends through out their life. I can’t wait to see it all unfold. Uncle Skip and I can’t wait until we can see you and yours. What a great day! All of our love to you and yours. Aunt Deb and Uncle Skip

  39. *Wesley* says:

    Congratulations to you and your family. May your life be filled with overflowing love, laughter and happiness!

  40. Heidi says:

    tears. your words are piercing with your reality. “last night as My Only Child.”

    it’s amazing how your heart just swells with emotion and it’s instantaneous primal love for this new child that seconds before wasn’t in this great big world.

    you’re so lucky and blessed and so is bug. congrats to your new family of four!

  41. Penne says:

    Welcome new little one! And Congrats to you Nic, Andy and Margot! We can’t wait to meet our new GREAT-niece! Saw the pic from your Mom!
    Our thoughts are with you! Happy Happy Thanksgiving and so much to be grateful for! xxoooAunt Penne

  42. Jane says:

    Sending you mommy love and lots of strength! Little Margot becomes big!

  43. elke says:

    Oh, mama. I had a dream about you last night.
    Just know that there are lots of people thinking of you and sending you all the extra strength and energy you need.

    I also remember feeling completely confused about the changes I was bringing to my Boone. I can honestly say now that the very best thing I ever have done for my kids was give them each other.
    … Read More
    Can’t wait to meet the new girl.

  44. suzi says:

    Congratulations! This story gave me chills–chills of deep, deep joy and hope!

  45. Elisabeth says:

    Yes, I understand completely. Saying goodbye to the “only child” is an amazing life experience and so is saying hello to the new child. Many congrats from the Ristau family.

  46. Katie says:

    Thinking of you today and sending you strength and happiness.

  47. Carrie says:

    Thinking of you.

  48. Dakota says:

    Many good thoughts and best wishes your way! Congratulations!

  49. I have a candle lit for you today (beeswax) :) Know I am thinking of you and will keep you in my prayers Niki. You take care sweet girl.
    With lots of love to you,

  50. Gillian says:

    so filled with emotion about all of this! also filled with a few glorious, work free days to be a helpful friend. PLEASE let me know if you need anything. sending nothing but love your way.

  51. Angela says:

    I found your blog through my cousin Sarah (beehousehives) and have enjoyed the read. I hope everything goes (or went at this point) well with the birth of your daughter. Blessings to you and yours.

  52. Melissa says:

    had to check in and not surprised to read this–yay!! so much love and strength to you and your family.

    what a wonderful thanksgiving.
    much love!

  53. YAY !!! So excited to read all about it :) What a strong woman you are… an example to strive towards. Can’t wait to see pictures of the new little babe :)

  54. Eva says:

    Amazing, mama! Thanks for letting us know so we can send good thoughts your way.

  55. Erin says:

    so happy for you!!! Can’t wait to see this gorgeous baby!!!

  56. Marina says:


  57. Jennifer says:

    So excited for you; may you have a delightful birth!

  58. Elise says:

    I hear she is here!!! Margot has a sister, Margot has a sister!!!!!!!

  59. Sarah says:

    ahhh! give us more, elise!

  60. Amy says:

    Yay, yay, sending good thoughts your way!

  61. baby news, there’s nothing quite like it…
    c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s!!

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