It never stops for the mother! In the midst of everything you have going on you have to worry about your milk supply. The hospital should loan you a pump. I don’t pray much but I have been for Ruby Jane. I can’t wait to watch her grow up on your blog.

I’m thinking of little Rubes a ton and hating this shitty, shitty situation for your family; I look forward to the reflection your fam can have when you are AT the light at the end of the tunnel. I have a great ‘something bigger than myself’ item to give up in my yoga class tonight. xoox, ljb

Stay strong pretty lady, for you are stronger than you know.

I hope your joy returns to you full force soon.

Just wanted to let you know that I am pulling for little Ruby and thinking about all of you! You will all come out the other side of this and be home together soon. I’m so glad to hear she is gaining strength. Thinking about you and sending good thoughts and wished from the Bitterroot. Take care of yourself!
-Ellie

Hi Nici,
I read your blog occasionally and please know that your entire family…especially little Ruby girl….are in my thoughts and prayers. My husband Rich is from Red Lodge and I met you and Andy when you were pregnant with Margot at Mustard Seed with the Furbers…Luke is our son Cole’s godfather. Anyways, stay strong and know love and peace are being sent your way.
Amy Stuber

Even people you don’t know are willing you their courage and strength to get through this chapter of your lives. I came across your blog while looking for fellow organic gardeners and chicken lovers… and have since fell in love with your sweet little family. You all are in my thoughts and prayers!

Nici,
I cried reading this. I’ve never seen you anything but good and happy and it hurts me to hear of your pain. I’m wishing wellness on your family.
Let me know if you need any help. I’d like to be a friend.
~Melanie

Wow, Nici, you amaze me with your strength and the pure force of your love for little Ruby and Margot and Andy. I am still praying and I won’t let up until Ruby is back home where she belongs.

People you have never met, ones that Ruby Jane will never see are holding you both close in their hearts and willing all the positive feelings that this season brings…peace, love and joy….to you and your family.

Nici, I am a friend of Paige’s and read your blog all the time since we were reacquainted at her wedding. I am so sorry for all that you are going through, I think about you and that beautiful baby all the time. You and your family have made me so jealous to be a mother, I even told my partner – let’s move to Montana so we can have a cute family. I am sending as much positive thoughts and energy as I can muster!
Bridget

Nici,

Not sure how I came across your space…but it has been a happy place for me to visit over the past months…I’m thinking of you and your family and wishing you much energy, peace and strength in the days ahead. Thanks for always brightening a corner of the world for so many of us–truly an inspiration. You’re in my thoughts…

I’m a reader of your blog from Dallas, TX. I originally found you when searching for gardening blogs a couple of years ago. I’ve really enjoyed seeing a little snippet of your Montana life. Please know that my husband and I are praying for you and your family. Go Ruby Go!!!

Sending you all the love in my heart,
Emily Reyes

I, too, am a regular reader who has never commented. It’s times like these, however, that we as humans need to reach out to one another to share the bond of love and support. I am surrounding your family with white light and sending Ruby positive energy.

Ruby’s name is sitting next to a giant golden Buddha statue on the main hall shrine at the Ann Arbor Zen Temple in Michigan. Our teacher there is praying for her and on Sunday, all attending the service will pray, too (about 75 folks.) Love to you all, I repeat my prayer throughout the day – May Ruby be well, May she be happy, May she be free from suffering. You, too!

This is Joanna from Blackbird Kid Shop. Just wanted to let you know we are sending healing thoughts to you and your family. I love your blog, and it has put a smile on my face more than once. If there is anything you need you can reach out to us as well, just wanted you to know that.
xo

Nici, I am moved to tears by what you are going through. This must be so hard to not be able to nurse her, hold her, as much as you want. A friend of mine went through the exact same thing with her 15 day old baby 3 years ago. He recovered completely and is super healthy today. I know how intense and crazy it can get. I was part of the support community (it was up North in the Yukon near Alaska, quite a tightly-knit community). I am really happy to read that you also have an amazing community supporting you. This is so precious. Just keep breathing. It will be OK. Ruby will be OK. Try to be there for Margot as much as you can, it must be really hard for her too (don’t get into guilt mode), just acknowledge that her life is all upside down all of a sudden, and that soon, you will all be snuggling in bed together, laughing!

Love and light, Catherine

Hope thru tears here Nici. I can’t wait to see your girls healthy and together again ASAP. Good vibes from CA.

Nici and family~ again and again, all throughout the day I think about you…. sending good thoughts and all my love. xoxo kiss that sweet babe for us.

My sister calls me every day…and before we say hi, she answers the phone, “How’s Dig’s baby?” I was telling Brett the entire story last night and couldn’t get through without crying…and he says, ‘she’s going to be okay.’
i would miss lainey so much too…oh, the things you are having to deal with…sadness on so many levels. But, yes, it will get better. I felt it this morning. There’s way too much fighter in you Cline girls. And I keep thinking how I cannot wait to see this little cub’s personality…’cuz we’ll all be laughing soon at how this all makes sense because she’s one heck of a kid who showed everyone. these moments you share with her…i had those too…sweet magic moments alone in the night in a hospital when i really didn’t know if our girl was going to make it, and i’ll tell you…you will never forget them. sweet, sweet memories you are making. oh, this too shall pass, and we all can’t wait till it does. soon. you are so strong, you beautiful mama, you. we are loving and praying. i love the village. it carries us when we seriously cannot walk ourselves. rest. love. xoxo

Hey Cline family. I love your blog and will pray for baby Ruby. She’s so cute and I can’t wait to watch her grow on your blog. Hang in there, I know it’s hard, but your family and Ruby is strong. May the Lord watch over your Ruby.

Dear Nici,
I have had a series of lovely connections with you recently. The only complaint I have is that you have not been directly involved in these interactions!(But you’ve been a little busy).
First, I read your article in the newest Mamalode. Loved it. Then, we saw some pretty darn good artwork at Dana gallery last Friday by Mr. Cline. My personal favorite: “Oh Dear.” And most recently, I’ve been reading your rich words, real beyond measure in what we call a “blog” but what is really a community, that for me, represents family life in Missoula beautifully.
Although we have not met, I do know you, and you me. That is what you create with your work here. I am right there with you and your sweet family visualizing warrior Ruby heal.
Thank you for all that you do. You have inspired and touched me deeply.
Much love,
Lulu Steinberg

Nici,
I was the anonymous commenter last time who is one of Jeanne’s pregnant moms…I just had to keep coming back to check on Ruby…and of course you and your husband and 1st born…I’m thinking of your family and sending out every positive thought I can muster. I know your little one will be ok. I know your other little one will get her alone time with mama back and get acquainted with her little sis. I hope you two bigs of these little girls are able to get some sleep and that you’re ok. I know all of Missoula are pulling for you guys and thinking of you.

Nici~I haven’t stopped thinking about sweet Ruby. The love & light for her little body to perk up is coming in abundance. Love to you all…
Katie

My lap is filled witha puddle of tears every time I read your words! Especially today. Lily was not breathing when she entered this world and to this day listening to her breathe is my favorite experience I share with her. You too will have this joy very soon. Ruby is a fighter. Ruby is a winner. She has a village around her that will carry her through to and bring her home very soon. I’m thinking of you all more than you know!

Nici, this is Amy (of Amy, Taj and Caleb). I cry cry cry every time I read this….Caleb had a very rough start as well and I can almost smell the hospital smell and hear the sounds…also, we have a little one on the way and this makes me want to FIGHT!!! Ruby will do just fine. They are soo good at what they do there. Just don’t forget to pump! Beer helps of course! We are thinking about your family every day, and don’t pray, but we are praying like crazy for Ruby. I just wish you could feel the hug I wish I could send you…Just know that we are pulling for little one.
Much love, mama. You and Andy are doing great. Smooch Margot and tell everyone you know how important they are to you.

Uncle Joe and I just read this post together. We are happy that your mom is there now; she will be great support for all of you.

BABY RUBY JANE IS A FIGHTER. How do I know this? She has Alice for a Great Grammy and Terri for a Grammy and Nici for a Mommy…all STRONG women! GO, RUBY, GO!

Give your sweet bundle a hug from both of us.

Sending lots of love your way…can you feel it?

Aunt Lorie and Uncle Joe

So good to read your words, to hear what is happening and the progress that is being made, breath by breath. Miss Ruby is a fighter,after all she takes after her Mom! My prayers are with you all and I am so glad your Mom is there and you have such a wonderful community of support! Warm hugs to you all.
xo Aunt Penne

Nici,

I have been incessantly checking your blog since your post Saturday. I keep dreaming about babies and I am sending positive thoughts your way.

I’m glad your clan is gathering round you. That’s what clans are for.

Please know you are in our thoughts. I’m sure your spirit is rising up in your little one as she fights the fight. How powerful she must be.

With love and hope from California,

Tammi

Hang in there Ruby… you’ve got so much love and so many good thoughts coming your way…

Nici – I keep checking back daily (or more) to see how you all are doing. I realize you don’t know me at all, but in talking to Jeanne I think I live all of 10 blocks from you. I know you’ve got family coming in but if you need any help please let me know, I’m happy to send you contact info. Many hugs and good wishes.

At first I had tears streaming down my face.

Then I went and ate some cookie dough.

Now I am able to think clearly again.

In the darkness there is a bright-side…

The first being this ridiculously supportive blog community. I am so impressed and my heart swells thinking about how easily you win people over with your creativity and energetic love for life.

The second being that once this Ruby girl gets her strength back and you do too… you are going to bring universal health care to all Americans, and you are going to bring them good nutritious food while you are at it.

I know Lindsay wants to be the next Oprah, but I think you have a head start.

Yes you can little Ruby and your mom can too.

Thank you for this post. It helps those of us who live painfully too far away from you and who wish they could hug you by the elevator.

xo

Be strong Momma.

You’re in my thoughts

oh nici,
i wish i could be there with you right now. i tried calling but i am guessing you are keeping your phone off. lindsay has kept me updated. reading these comments above is amazing. it’s so great how many people know you, even though they have never met you, and care about you and what you are going through. it’s so fascinating and amazing and affirming. i love you and your family and i’m sending all the healing i can.
love you
sarah

We’re thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way!

I’m a fan and fellow Missoulian who has delighted in reading about your journey into life with two munchkins. My heart aches for your situation… To be so new to this world and face a mountain of challenges is incredibly unfair. My prayers for renewed strength for you as you emotionally and physically nurse little Ruby to full health are whispered throughout the day. And for God’s sake get uninterrupted sleep when you can because you know she won’t let you get away with it when you get home! Thanks for the words of perspective you offer us.
~ Melinda

Crying here, too. Still rooting for Ruby. Hang in there, kid.

Oh god, my heart just aches to read what you and your family are going through right now. The strength and joy for life you all exude (which I’m sure is only a fraction through this small screen as compared to real life!) gives me confidence that you and your little peanut will pull through with flying colors. Sending healthy vibes from the coast…
Staci

Nici,I know that the rest of the world is standing still for you right now. All of the news of the day means nothing. It is as if you are on another planet. It is so far removed as it should be. The rest of us can take care of the mundane affairs. Your energy needs to be where it is- with Ruby and the rest of your family. I think about you yours and pray for all of you through out the day. I know that one prayer has definitely been answered as I witness your strength through this whole ordeal. God Bless…Aunt Deb

Just want you to know that you are soooo in our thoughts and prayers. The support you have is amazing and very genuine like you. Little Miss Ruby Jane you are already loved by a whole village and we will all be at peace when you get to go home to your mom, dad, sister and grandmas. And then watch out world! Strength to all of you. Cousin Karen and Vic.

Hi Nici,
I saw Andy at his (fantastic) show on Friday and heard about your sweet little Ruby. Sending lots of healing thoughts and well wishes your way. I look forward to reading about a full recovery from your plucky little fighter. A warm, virtual embrace for your entire clan….
Kim Wishcamper

Good vibes sending your way…I was listening to a “Healing and Change” CD my sister made for me during Dylan’s RSV stint and I was thinking of you all day! One song basically just repeats “Just keep breathing” and that was my mama mantra those horrible days, Hang in there, it’ll get better!

Still praying…..

I hope you don’t mind but we have an informal prayer chain on Facebook. I asked my friends to pray for Ruby. She WILL recover, I just know this. Stay strong-get rest, your family will be all together again soon.

Dear Nici and Andy,
You have been in my thoughts and prayers. Nici your words took me back to a place I thought I’d left behind. I cried and ached again. I hate that you are going through this with Ruby. But know she is so strong, you’ve given her that. She is going to be home with you soon. DJ is just fine and getting bigger by the day. Amazing really, you would never know what he went through if you hadn’t been right there. And you are now right there. Lean on each other, laugh with sweet Margo and try to sleep a little. She knows you are with her and by her side.
Love, liling

Keep fighting and pushing forward! My prayers are continually with you and your family.

Nici,
I’ve read your work in Mamalode and now on this blog, so I feel as though I know some part of your life, which is strange since you don’t know me at all. But during the last few days I find myself praying for Ruby without even consciously deciding to. I don’t actually know how to pray. Though when I am doing the dishes or reading books with my son, sometimes this image of your fierce little baby girl, pumping her fists will pop into my mind. And then I close my eyes tight and squeeze my fists too and think: you can’t die. you have to get better soon. you will get better soon. you can do it little Ruby.
Thank you for your words. They are honest and brave, and you are sharing an experience that I think most people would be afraid to write about. I know I would.
-Becky

we are thinking of you all and sending you all our love and strength and wish for Ruby to fight her way through. I don’t really know what else to say that could be of any importance at a moment like this. All the very very best wishes and love

claudia

Sending (((hugs))) and Get Better Vibes from the UK to you all and Ruby. I know a little of what you’re going through, having a poorly baby in hospital.

Thinking of you xxx

Been waiting for a little Ruby update. Came over from Kelle’s blog about a million years ago. Love you, and your writing, and your chickens (all of them). So happy you have your community to hold you up, keep you strong. Sending warm, happy thoughts from IL. Can’t wait to see the post that Ruby is home, and everyone is back sleeping in one big bed together, snuggled warm under the blankets. Those are the images in my head. Can’t wait to see them on this page! And just have to tell you, my word verification is restshe. Yes, I hope she is resting!

sending good thoughts your way

Any daughter of yours is going to kick this RSV thing’s ass. Doesn’t it know who it’s dealing with here?
We are thinking about you and sending you love, prayers, good thoughts, and anything else that will help you…stay strong my friend and don’t forget to let people help you. xo Lisa

oh little ruby girl … still sending as much healing as i can. i can’t wait to see you grow up beside your sister. it’s time for you to get better now, darling.

and to a mama … my girls were bigger when going through that respiratory stuff … so i don’t really know … but i kinda know. it is SO HARD to see their little bodies fighting to breathe. it’s exhausting. i am so happy that you have such a supportive family and community. let them hold you up when you want to fall. that’s what they are there for.

Mama to be in Paoli, PA…….
I have been checking several times a day since last post. I am praying for Ruby and she is in my thoughts daily meditations. I am so glad there are so many people in your life that will drop everything to help because they love you and your family so so much…..I hope today will be a better day, and Ruby, growing just a little bit stronger!!!!!

Nici… I wish I could come right over and clean house, play with Margot, make some soup, give you a hug, make you a cup of hot tea, give you another hug. and then another. ‘Cause that would make me feel so much better, I hate not being able to really help out. I am so glad that you have such a great community doing what I can’t.

Just know in my heart I am aching for you. In my mind I am picturing you and your girls frolicking in the garden, picking strawberries, laughing and soaking up the sun… next summer this will be your reality. Have hope this will happen.

Today I am sending you and ruby my energy and love and breathing for you and for her. Know you are in my thoughts and that tomorrow will be better. xoxo

I am thinking of Ruby, fat and bubbling over her diaper cover, showing off those beautiful gums and twinkling. The delicious Michelin thighs to the cankles to the spread out piggies that she pulls back into you as a tickle threatens….

I am thinking of Margot, running pell-mell through the grass bringing treasures of rocks and sticks to Sister-Born. Those dark eyes soaking up the life and love around her as she reports on the wonder that is her world. “Clouds, mama.” She then haunches, ruffled skirt flipped up, to follow an ant trail.

I am thinking of you, head tilted back, irresistable curls bouncing, well-earned and beloved laugh lines around your eyes bewitching, holding your babe close with a magnificently dyed and lovingly sewed cotton. A dirty carrot in your hand. Mint, sparkling water, ice.

I am thinking of Andy, too, even though he isn’t in our moments often enough. Running his tongue along his teeth with a wry grin, at the ready. Eager to move, eager to rest. Thoughts of wife and family in every non-sucrose decision. Mouth open and hair across his face, he takes Ruby in one arm and extends a hand to Margot. “Come on, babe.” he says to you, and the four of you are off.

I love you all so much.

CEL

Hi, Nici & Andy & Margot & Ruby – You’re all doing so well with what you’ve been dealt… Keep fighting and believing in the positive spin of the world. We all will, too.
xxx Julie, Bryan & Mani

To: Margot From: Hugo (He even typed the following himself, copying his words off paper.)

i love you i like you. i like that you are nice. i like that you like to play with me.

I miss you. We love you all and think of you all the time.

It’s going to be okay. I feel it.

I just wanted to tell you I’m a fellow mom and Missoulian and I’m keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

More positive thoughts and prayers for Ruby Jane, I hope she’s breathing calmly on her own today.

Thinking of you, Andy, Margot and Ruby. Sending you love, strength, hope and faith . . . you in are the absolute shit right now and I can only imagine the helplessness you might feel. Ruby will amaze you with her recovery, how she nurses like she never took a break, and it’s true that someday this experience will be an incredibly poignant memory. It’s hard to even put words on your experience–words feel so shallow and empty right now. But my heart is with you. Much love to you guys.

Hi Nici,
I’ve been reading your blog for a while now but this is my first comment. I found your blog on some sort of random search for Missoula blogs when I was thinking of moving there and was wondering what life was like…and though in the end I didn’t move to Missoula, I got hooked on your blog…your beautiful photos, honest writing and wonderful family are inspiring. I’m sure you’re going to get through this. You’re in my thoughts. Sending good vibes all the way from Vermont, -M

Hi, I’m another regular reader–I always enjoy your posts and pictures about the things you’re up to and your sweet family. I have a toddler and the backyard chickens and the garden and even a dog who looks much like yours, so when I found your site I felt like I was meeting a friend. When my daughter was born last year, she also had breathing problems and actually had to be whisked to the NICU before I even got a chance to really hold her or look in her eyes. She was in the tent for awhile, then on tubes, and finally on day 3 she was unhooked from everything and we were allowed to take her home, and it was the best feeling ever. The time when she was in the hospital was so miserable, and scary, and just really not a fun place to be spending the first days of my daughter’s life and my first days as a mother. Anyway, I do feel like I know a bit what you’re going through, and it sucks, and I’m sorry for you–but you know that sweet little Ruby will get better, and this will soon fade to an unpleasant memory, blurred by all the wonderful memories that will come after it. I’ll be thinking of you guys!

Other than taking care of yourself, try not to worry about your milk. I had pretty severe PPD and just couldn’t DEAL and my midwife told me that even after 3 months of not nursing, my body could BRING IT BACK if I had the baby suck. What an amazing body.

Take care and all my digits are crossed, my Mother Power is in high gear, and I’m thinking good thoughts for you and yours.

even the mountains pray for you and yours

BREATHE STRONG, MISSY!

Breathe strong.

*thinking of you guys*

Another Missoulian here, trying to imagine what to say that could help…just know that across the country a total stranger opens her heart and sends all the strength in it to you and your baby.

We are praying out hearts out here and have sent a request to friends to do the same. The response has been overwhelming and will keep doing so until that beautiful baby girl is home in your arms where she belongs. All our love, your cousins in AZ.

Get on the mend, Ruby!

Lots of love, strength, positve thoughts, and prayers being sent your way from Atlanta! xo

Sending you all our good energy….you are never far from our thoughts. Your strength is amazing and Ruby is a lot like her mama!

Thinking of you and sending love. Little Ruby is helping us all to put life into perspective and focus on what really matters. Thank you Ruby.

we are praying for Ruby Jane and your sweet family… praying for health, comfort and peace for you all.

Nici and Andy~we are with you in spirit. Give her hugs for us. Margot too.

Sending you loads of love and prayers to you, your family and baby Ruby…

Hi Nici, I just read your blog… I am so sorry, I had no idea. Thinking of you all and wishing that sweet little Ruby a speedy recovery.

Sending all my good thoughts and vibes your way.

Nici – I can’t imagine how you all are feeling, much love and warmest thoughts to you all.

thinking of you and your sweet family Nici…let me know if there is anything I can do.

♥ and hugs…

Never met you or your family, but once a Missoulian – always a Missoulian. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all from Raleigh, NC.

Think of little Ruby and your family everyday! Peace, love, prayers to your family from me!

Nici, Andy, Margot, Ruby, Terri, Joan…
We love you, we’re praying for you. Our whole church is praying for you!
-all our love…
Anne, Peter, Della and Bjorn

this latest post made me dizzy…you are really having to dig into all your mama strength right now. Hopefully you can draw some positive energy from this fantastic community of support you have here in online land. Much love to you and your family from a former Missoulian!

oh, the love!! yup, i’m teary-eyed all over again just reading all your comments. i, too, am sending love, much love …

Hang in there you.
Sending love and lots of it. Thinking of you each day friend and praying and praying…
Just think of when little Ruby will be on your hip in the kitchen next summer when you are canning away. Think good thoughts. Rest too. It is hard I KNOW. Alright.. I am sending you another e-mail now before I hit the sack!

Nici,
I don’t think i have commented before, but i read your blog and love it. My husband glances too and thinks your home is beautiful.
I know you have much support and love, but i just wanted to add to the pile. My little girl Bayley(now 18 months and better than fine) was born 5 weeks early via c section and all i got was a kiss and then she was rushed down to the nicu to be probed and intubated to lay naked and sedated. she was in the nicu for 8 days and they were the longest and hardest 8 days of my life. Not knowing was the worst feeling. The feeding tubes made me cry, because i just wanted to nurse her. Instead i sat alone in a cold nusing station, crying my eyes out and reading some stupid poem about premature babies that the march of dimes published. I brought her home weighing 5 lbs. and was so scared i didn’t sleep for 3 days. I guess I just want to say, I know how you feel and you and your lovely family are in my thoughts and it will be okay. Lots of love from a small piece of the village,
Abbey

Oh Nici, Andy, Margot and Ruby… what a hard start. Much love, breath, health, and warmth to you all. You are in our thoughts. xoxo

What a strong mother you are, Nici. I know that little girl has the same strength you do 🙂

I’ve been reading your blog for several years, soaking up the happy, and it hurts me to know you are in this dark place. But I think Ruby will get through this, she will!! I feel it. Five years from now you’ll be tickling her belly saying oooh you were a stinker when you were born, you gave us such a scare! And Margot will be dancing around singing hee hee you’re a stinker and I’m not! And then Ruby will wail Moooom! and you will think wow, it’s so beautiful to be right here.

Hang in there. Love to you all from the suburbs of Washington, DC –
Kris

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