like riding a bike only jigglier

I ran on Saturday. The first time since March. And it felt fantastic.

It’s weird how scary it is to do something you’ve never done before. Even when you know you can do it because others have done it and just deep down you know you can do it. Like childbirth. Like spending 12 days in the hospital with a new baby wondering how it’s going to end. Like running four weeks after birthing a kid, after 10 months of not running.

Women decide we are going to do it and we do it. We get shit done.

And while going for a jog isn’t that big of a deal, it sure took a lot of internal dialog, with several days of talking myself out if it, to amp myself up for it. I have never not run for this long of a time. It was 17 degrees outside and I drank a cup of coffee, nursed Ruby, harnessed my floppy boobs in two very supportive bras. I dug out my running shoes from under my cowboy boots that I only wear about two times per year…yes, my running shoes were under them. I grabbed a leash, a very very excited dog and I put one foot in front of the other for 30 minutes. The feet weren’t moving quickly but they were moving and I remembered and regained confidence.

I am so glad to have that first run under my belt. Today I have that satisfactory soreness in my quads and beer tastes especially great. The museum staff and board bought me my Dream Stroller and I just can’t wait to run with my two girls in tow. Well, three girls in tow because Alice will surely be there too. I have always been a runner but it’s different now. It’s all different.

Running is a lot like life.

To get a great, endorphin-charged experience you don’t need much more than some interest, intention and breath. And then it’s just moving forward. Sometimes it feels perfect, like you could go forever without a hitch and sometimes it feels just awful and all wrong, like your body might break. Most of the time you feel better just for having tried. So much of the journey is psychological, I think I can. There are tree root-swollen sidewalks, unfairly placed icy patches, assholes who don’t stop to let you cross Russell Street and a dog that wants to smell everything. And there are moments of clarity not found in any other circumstance, a constant view of Mount Sentinel as the morning sun hugs the frosty trees and reminds you how incredibly lucky you are to live here, the camaraderie shared between all other people on the trail and a dog who wants to stop and smell everything.

29 Responses to like riding a bike only jigglier

  1. TRB Holt says:

    GO Nici GO! Through your words I remember the “rush” of running, it was a great feeling…after our Ruby scare I have vowed, (to myself), to do more for me so I can, be there for you and my grand-kids…so this gal will also put one step in front of the other and think of you….GO Nici GO!!!!

    I love you, Mom

  2. Sarah says:

    Awesome. I am a runner too… I bet it felt sooo good, and even better when you got home and had that first one licked!
    I am bookmarking this for when I go out for that “first run after having baby number three” for some pumping up.

    I am cheering for you for getting out.. and in 17 degrees… you have got some great spirit.

  3. Casey says:

    Yo! Just a shout out to Kiwi ingenuity! Of course we have the same stroller and I’m sure it’s clear why – but Kiwi allegiance aside, it’s awesome! It’s been awesome for Moana and her buddies over the 2.5 years, and I’m excited for her and B.S. to give it a go, too! Let’s stroll along the Clark Fork like Madonna and Gwyneth in the Hamptons!

    Good for you for getting out and moving! It gives me hope that I might actually be able to at least walk around the block at 4 weeks postpartum this time.

    Love yoU!

  4. ChiotsRun says:

    Congrats! how great it is to be back running after a long break! I started a few weeks ago after a year (due to an injury) and it’s great. I actually love the challenge of building up stamina again.

  5. sage says:

    congrats nici! There is pretty much nothing else I dislike as much as running, but I can appreciate the feeling of pushing yourself and making milestones. For me I choose a hiking or biking, and i can’t wait to get back into spinning. xoxo

  6. congrats, nici! love the women decide we are going to do it and we do it statement!!

    good for you …

  7. Melissa says:

    you go girl. and we love that stroller. it is the best (i have to say, because everyone appreciates a bargain, that i scored mine from for less than half the original price! woot woot).

    you are a rock star.

  8. Jessica says:

    Way to go Nici! I have that stroller as well and LOVE it!!!

  9. Amy says:

    Fuck. I’m crying at the computer screen. From the words a perfect stranger wrote. I’ve been saying I want to have a kid and that I’m going to start trying down that path on Jan 1, 2010 and now that it’s all of a few days away I am terrified. I’ve never done it before. I’m scared. I don’t know if I can do pregnancy, child birth, kid raising. But hey, maybe like you, I can put one foot in front of the other and see where I go.

  10. Clancy says:

    Great little story about getting out there! Wish I could see the beautiful frozen Missoula, but maybe on a brisk walk for me.

  11. islamama says:

    i just started getting back on the physical fitness horse after a year in the mama trenches. My shoes have been found, i rummaged out a pair of (sort of) unembarrassing black running pants. You’ve inspired me to not the let sun set today without moving my butt! Cue “eye of the tiger”!

  12. Leigh says:

    Oh man. I can’t wait to get back on my feet post-baby-#2. Right now I am recalling fondly my first few runs after baby #1… the weird loose yet achy joints, the two bras, the feeling that I might pee myself at any moment…

    I can’t wait! :)

  13. Penne says:

    And the dog that wants to smell EVERYTHING! How I laughed as I read that as I so related to it! Ms Muggles wants to smell everything for the first 2+ blocks I take her out on a jaunt. It is almost like you need to let her get it out of her system,let your dog have her time and then she will be ready to go at your pace without a lot of nagging! Okay…so it is another 10 minutes added to the time you’re out, but your dear doggy needs her time too, and then you will get your time without that tug on the leash every 10 paces!

    I am so glad you are back on the path! Celebrate!
    xo to you and your family!
    Aunt Penne

  14. jen says:

    Good for you!! I am a pseudo-runner. I keep trying even though I suck at it (encouraged greatly by Miss Finny!). I feel so good AFTER that I don’t think I can give it up.

    And WOW whatta stroller!! It’s amazing the way-cool advances in baby gear in the 10 years since I’ve had an actual baby! Lucky!!

  15. Malissa says:

    Woohooo for your first run! I have a passion for running so this post made me so happy. You will be all ready for the Missoula Marathon. :) I am pondering training for the half…I think they do a half for the Missoula Marathon. Anyway I really appreciated your post as I have been fighting some weird torticollis in my neck this past week and have not been able to run.
    I have a make believe glass of champaign and I am toasting you a Happy New Year and many happy runs with your two girls and your funny sniffing dog!

  16. FinnyKnits says:

    You’re back at it -incredible. Simply incredible. It’s great to hear that you leashed up Alice, tied up your running shoes and trodded back out into the world. I imagine that did a lot for your sanity. And your soul. Not to mention the bod. Good for you, mama – you deserve these runs. Big loves.

  17. Aunt Deb says:

    Hey,, Nickers, so glad you are running again. I can’t wait to run with you in RL…and Alice can go off leash too with Buddy and Miles. We have had such cold weather on and off the past month or so – I have had to resort to the treadmill and elliptical. Just not the same as getting out there in the fresh air. Love, Aunt Deb

  18. Linda says:

    You are in inspiration Nici! I stopped running when I was pregnant with Ashley and never got back into it. I have vowed I will run again once I have this baby in July. I miss everything about it, the clarity it gave me, how strong I felt and especially the effects on my thighs :) Way to go!!

  19. Traci says:

    WOW! My dear friend Conny posted your blog on my FB page after I posted how much I MISS my crisp cold foggy misty morning runs (I’m 8 months pregnant) and how much I can’t WAIT to start again. You are my hero…I loved reading your blog and congratulations on your baby and first step back into running. I’m right on your heels. /Traci

  20. Amy: It is totally terrifying and I think it should be! Here is something I constantly reminded myself, in those moments of fear and doubt, when I was pregs with my first: Of all the moms I know, some who are a lot like me and some very different, I have never heard one person say they regretted having children. In fact, they all say it was the best choice they ever made. Every single woman. That’s powerful stuff!

  21. Amy says:

    Thank you! Sincerely.

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