ebb and flow

Lately I am tempted to title every piece ebb and flow. It just always seems appropriate.

Last Monday was a messy, hard day. Ruby’s contentment depended on bouncing on the exercise ball or nursing, which meant less attention for Margot, which made her cranky. And, amazingly, unfairly neither kid napped. And, also, I can’t bounce and breastfeed for 10 hours straight while I sing the abcs or I’ll go crazy. So I whispered swears a few times, shut myself in the bathroom once, kicked toys in my path. While nursing and/or bouncing and singing, of course…click here to read the rest of this essay at mamalode.com.

17 Responses to ebb and flow

  1. booksNyarn says:

    Wonderful post, Nici! I think that EVERY parent would commiserate with you on your feelings of ebb and flow – and probably join you for that drink too!

  2. Melissa says:

    one of my new faves of yours. not that i’m glad you had a rough one, of course. but they do happen (i deeply remember those days with only one baby! yikes!) and then lo, look what we can do! yay yoga, yay martinis, yay you. and margot? that picture is too cute. i giggled at the image of you kicking toys and saying swears, too. thanks for the honesty, as always. xoxo

  3. jennifer says:

    Ahh, love your honesty & was right with you a few days ago.

  4. TRB Holt says:

    You said to me last week, that moms need to talk about their frustrations in child raising. I think you are right…we all have had them and knowing that we are not alone is so comforting & healthy. I often wonder how my mom did it, and did it so well with 4 of us…wow….here’s to you Mom!

    xo

  5. Claudia says:

    ha so know about the bouncing and the ebb and flow! can not imagine how hard it must be having two though! chapeau to you lovelies love c

  6. FinnyKnits says:

    Ebb – Flow, Yoga – Martinis. The right medicine at the right time, yes?

    Sounds like you’re handling this Mom of 2 thing pretty damn gracefully to me.

    And to be graceful while bouncing on a ball all day? That’s pretty incredible.

  7. Nici,
    Reading your well-chosen words, I can’t help but reflect on the time when I had a 2 year old and a brand new baby. Lots of sweetness, but nothing easy about it. My friend calls it “the hunker-down years,” which says it perfectly. When I was able to leave the house under the load of a steamer trunk of snacks, diapers, wipes, extra everything, I felt like I had performed a small miracle (and then of course we had to return one hour later for naps).
    You’re doing so well (I totally would have chosen the martini!)
    And I love Ruby’s nursing blister in that photo – it reflects the very fleetingness of the time.
    Blessings,
    Rachel

  8. Katie says:

    My heart settled with a smile to know I’m not the only one who’s kicked a toy or two intentionally.

  9. Conny says:

    You are indeed multi-talented. I don’t think I could bounce and nurse at the same time (not even for 1 minute). Some days are tougher than others that’s for sure.

  10. I am new to your blog, and am a big fan already. I thought of this excerpt from A Gift From the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindberg. I live by the ebb and flow of life and love and thought of this piece after reading your post. I also took a Moonlit yoga class the other night with a focus on empowerment, it was incredible!

    “When you love someone, you do not love them all the time in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility, it is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity, in freedom. In the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

    The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting as it is now. For relationships, too, must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits – islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides. One must accept the security of the winged life, of the ebb and flow of intermitten.”

  11. Oh honey my heart goes out to you. I think all Moms have days like this, I can tell you they do get better and on those days when it’s better you’ll sit and watch your kids and cry saying where did the time go.
    Holly

  12. Sage says:

    Hi Nici, oh yes oh yes, these are the days! I agree with your mom, it is necessary that mom’s talk about the “less than glamorous” days of motherhood. It makes us all feel a bit better. And love the comment about Anne Morrow’s “Gift from the sea”… one of most favorite books, and so so true of life. You have perfected this ebb and flow business… xox

  13. Beth says:

    I can relate to this on so many levels. I cannot, however, articulate it so well!

  14. Thanks for the laugh, Nici! You’re truly talented at this whole writing business (not to mention motherhood :)

  15. It is so nice to hear your true gut feelings and know I am not alone…Your descriptions make me laugh and say: “exactly!!” Maybe I will cut back on the wine and go to yoga this week. My daughter Bayley is going through the abc phase too….I sure hope they learn them soon haha

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