I have found the perfect recipe for rhubarb pie filling. Also, I have found the perfect pie crust recipe. And that’s saying something because I thought I already had the perfect pie crust. But then this butter crust knocked the socks off of that shortening crust. Whooo dog, are you ready for this?

First let me say that, in my opinion, people shouldn’t muck up rhubarb pie with other fruit. It’s the even consistency of sweet-tart rhubarb tucked into a flaky crust that is simply perfect in its simple perfection. Rhubarb is a delicate fruit that requires a steady hand with the sugar…too much and it’s syrup, too little and it’s eye-watering sour. Other fruits throw it all off. And as I am writing this I think I feel that was about all fruit pie…pick one and rock it out. I did once have a stellar peach blueberry pie but other than that, fruit is its best self when alone in a pie.
Rhubarb is always a welcome sight in the Montana spring. It grows up all alien-like, as if the earth is hatching a brain and then the leave unfurl into a gorgeous bouquet with rosey stems. And it just grows and grows for months. It’s so hardy too. When we moved into our house, our yard was dry, compact dirt. Hadn’t been watered in years. There were three things alive: wild roses, a peony and rhubarb.
I like a tough-as-nails fruit.
OK the pie already.
Preheat over to 375 degrees.
EDIT on 5/31/17: I’ve been making pie for years now and am way better at it than I used to be! My original proportions here were much sweeter than I like now so I am changing my recipe. Initially: I made this pie with 5 cups rhubarb and 1.5 cups of sugar. The new ratio is tarter and makes a larger pie, both bonuses in my book! I have also updated my crust recipe. xo
PERFECT EFFING RHUBARB PIE FILLING
8 cups chopped rhubarb
1 cup sugar
1/3 cup flour
Mix sugar and flour. Toss in rhubarb and coat.

PERFECT EFFING PIE CRUST
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, plus extra for rolling
2 sticks salted butter, very-cold, cut into 1/2 inch cubes
1 teaspoon salt
approximately 1/2 cup ice water
Cut up the butter and keep it in the freezer while you measure the flour and gather ingredients. Mix flour and salt thoroughly in a bowl.

Add butter and cut into flour with pastry cutter (or other fancy food processing device). Chop and chop until the butter is all floury and pea-sized. Add water, a bit at a time and mix/squeeze (yea, I squeeze my pie dough) until it sticks together. Put in fridge for a few. Cold dough is your bff.
Form it into a ball, divide ball into two. Roll each ball out on a floured surface. I swear, this dough is very well-behaved. In a naughty, coy way.

Place one pie crust in bottom of pie pan. Add rhubarb filling (there will be extra sugar/flour in the bottom of the bowl. just toss it in there). Cut up 1 tablespoon of butter and randomly dot the rhubarb. Cover with crust. Admire the perfect pie.

Bake for somewhere around 45 minutes to an hour…honestly my oven is so jacked I am not sure how long a normal oven will take.
I made this pie over the course of a day because I only had a few minutes here and there. So, it didn’t make it in the oven until like 10:30pm when my house was asleep. I waited for that bad boy, pulled it out of the oven and went straight to bed. And I woke to this:

Scored that super cool antique pie server at a garage sale last summer.
We ate it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
27 Comments
Thank you for mixing “effing” and “crust” together, that’s hilarious. And, don’t even get me started on the “my oven is so jacked”…couldn’t be any funnier! Thanks for the recipe, too!
Oh man, that’s an awesome breakfast. And quite the complement to wake up to half of it being destroyed. Thanks for sharing.
-Jennifer
Beautiful pie…ahh I miss my rhubarb plants! We woke up this morning to a HEAVY frost- I think my gardening season is over 🙁 So I’ll have to live vicariously through you this summer…can almost taste it!
Love the pic of Bug practicing her semaphore with the rhubarb…
Wow Nici that is gorgeous. No waonder it was so windy here yesterday. Margot was crating quite the breeze
OH I LOVE RHUBARB!!! And anything that is effing fabulous is effing right up my alley! My oven too is soooo jacked… about 50 degrees off, but I’ve got it figured out! Yay me!
I will SO be making this awesomeness!!
Can’t wait to try this out.
Ellie, Really?! Shit. I can’t believe it, How painful. Hope you have a good market! There’s always next year…the beautiful thing about gardens (and seasons)!
oooooh…. I love recipes! My rhubarb pie recipe is almost identical (go figure right), but I add 2 eggs and for some reason it’s now called a rhubarb cream pie, how do eggs make it a cream pie. hmmmm. I’m definitely going to try the effing crust recipe since I cheat. b.
oooooh…. I love recipes! My rhubarb pie recipe is almost identical (go figure right), but I add 2 eggs and for some reason it’s now called a rhubarb cream pie, how do eggs make it a cream pie. hmmmm. I’m definitely going to try the effing crust recipe since I cheat. b.
Yummy – I bought a large concrete bird bath made with a rhubarb leaf impression at the farmer’s market this year – great for the garden.
oh my goodness, i have to come back to look again at your young self and read this recipe! i love recipes.
i’ll be back, but wanted to hi!!!!
xoxoxo
Oh friend, these are big words – “perfect pie crust”, “don’t put other fruits in with rhubarb” (not an exact quote, obvi).
Strawberry rhubarb pie (see, as I go with two fruit thing) is THE ONLY two-fruit pie I like. When it comes to anything else, I’m a one-fruit kind of girl.
Wow. A lot can be derived about my character from that last sentence.
Anyway, I have rhubarb AND strawberries right now and my plan was to make my One Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Of The Year this weekend and now I’m suddenly torn.
What if I just try it without strawberries? WHAT THEN?
I guess we’ll see what happens when it’s just me and the fruit in the kitchen.
Again, what does this say about me?
Good looking pie crust though – I’ll try it.
Too bad it won’t last until I see you next week! I’ve only had rhubarb pie once and it had strawberries in it, which i read somewhere, ruins a perfectly good rhubarb pie.
xoxoxoxo 5 days til I see you!!!
YUM! When you visit…I’ll supply the rhubarb if you make the pie!!
Margot the “garden cheerleader”….nice pom poms Bug!
xoxo Mom/Gram
do you make hummus too? just found an awesome way to make it…puts Sabra to shame! So damn good, try it. tahini & lemon juice first, (and a little h20 if it is too dry) blend blend blend. salt & garlic, blend. chick peas. blend blend blend blend blend. oil and h20 as needed. sooooo creamy and delicious. enjoy (2 heaping spoonfuls tahini, juice of 1 lemon…. the rest to your liking)
Yum! Dinner…. done! Thanks for the recipe, it’s in the oven.
Aw man. Well, I love strawberry-rhubarb combos, but I’ll trust you and give it a go~looks delicious. And man, Margot is growing up. She’s beyond adorable!
Oh no you didn’t. I LOVE rhubarb pie. Now have a MAJOR craving for tha palette tingling coyly naughty taste.
Great post!
– iColossus
Oh no you didn’t. I LOVE rhubarb pie. Now have a MAJOR craving for tha palette tingling coyly naughty taste.
Great post!
– iColossus
Oh no you didn’t. I LOVE rhubarb pie. Now have a MAJOR craving for tha palette tingling coyly naughty taste.
Great post!
– iColossus
Oh no you didn’t. I LOVE rhubarb pie. Now have a MAJOR craving for tha palette tingling coyly naughty taste.
Great post!
– iColossus
Oh no you didn’t. I LOVE rhubarb pie. Now have a MAJOR craving for tha palette tingling coyly naughty taste.
Great post!
– iColossus
Oh, I haven’t made a pie in so long! And that sugared rhubarb has me salivating! xoxo
it’s in the oven! i did have to add blueberries to make the 4.5 cups of fruit. i can’t roll crust worth a damn, but it smells good!! thanks for the recipe.
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