what’s your favorite color?

Dear Internet,

All I want for my children is for them to have fulfilling, successful lives. And I want them to define fulfilling and successful. I want honesty and compassion to inform their personal understanding of fulfillment and success. I want my daughters to give people the benefit of the doubt, to question and lead by an example of self-reflection and integrity.

I am talking about our family’s value set, our morals, what we know to be important and trust to guide our actions and choices. This is hot button topic lately. Value sets. My values surrounding relationships with other humans begin with respect, empathy, honesty. Always and the end.

Photobucket
I am happy. I have a wonderful life. I want more for the next generation.
photo by Holly Andres

All this prologue is to say this: I am disheartened and confused as to why people spend time and resources disapproving of, avoiding and trying to change people because of who they love. It is hateful, unproductive and unlike the deity whose approval they seek.

I want communities and individuals to devote energy to constructive, educated efforts that better the world.

I want people to get over the orientation vs. choice of gayness. Margot loves orange. She likes to wear it, draw with it, look at it, adore it. It makes her feel fabulous. She is true to herself. I think it is wonderful and necessary that she understands, asserts and exhibits her love. If you like blue better, go for it. Let Margot love orange. Blue and orange are complimentary colors you know. They function best together.

I want my children to look back on the issues surrounding human rights for gay people like my generation regards racial segregation and a woman’s right to vote. Like, “Can you effing believe that even happened and not that long ago?! I am so thankful our people and government took care of that horrid injustice.”

Here’s the thing: I am on fire about issues surrounding the rights of humans who like other humans who have the same sex parts. See how ridiculous that sentence is? It is. Additionally, I am dedicated to truthfulness, art, the golden rule, education for all, non-toxic food, open space…

I have the high charge of raising two people to be stewards of our planet and culture. I care about their future, I care about the future of your families. I am voting on Tuesday. Because I want people in office who represent my values.

Will you vote? Whether or not you share my values, voting is your voice and the voice of our kids. Do you feel too busy and/or like you don’t know the issues well enough to make informed decisions? Me too. Please don’t use that as an excuse. This weekend, take one hour and talk to your friends, google ballot initiatives and candidates. Do it.

Leave a comment telling me (the world!) that you are voting and why and you will have a chance at winning a $25 gift certificate to my shop.

To true love,

dig

130 Responses to what’s your favorite color?

  1. Jen Burns says:

    Voted. How could I not? I happen to think gay rights vs. race rights are two totally different things and that feminism has caused many problems (not to say there aren’t good parts) but now America typically depends on two incomes vs. one – forcing home focused moms to work instead of care for their children if they are not crafty or daycare oriented enough to make money from home.

  2. Jen Burns says:

    Oh, and my favorite color(s) are blue and green. Rock that Orange Margot!

  3. RMAinMD says:

    ,,,oh I’m voting baby because EVERY vote counts!,,,

  4. Agree wholeheartedly. And to the previous poster – feminism gives women the choice… it was expected that women stay home, raise the kids and clean the house. Now, we have a choice, and society (in general) doesn’t look down on those that choose career. I’m a career mom by need, but if I had a choice, I’d be a SAHM. Longing for the days I could be home with my girl…

  5. Jenn says:

    I voted! It is my voice in government, speaking for what I believe is the right choice. I want my kids to grow up in a better world then where I see things going right now!

  6. Marty says:

    I don’t think feminism is the cause for the economy being so sucky that both parents have to work. As far as I’m concerned it was that “trickle down” crap from the 80’s. Anyway, I will be voting, as will my kids (son in Austin already has) and my 94-year-old mother in law.

    I go to a pretty conservative church, but my view on things is-why should the government control who people have relationships with? Jesus would go to a gay couple’s house for dinner if he were walking the earth, we should follow his example. Too doggone much hate in our country today!

  7. Kerri says:

    Awesome – Love this! Totally voted already (we’re all mail-in here in WA) and am working like crazy to make sure everyone I know did, too. Thanks for your ever-wonderful, inspirational and spot-on words, Nici!

  8. Taylor K says:

    I am voting. Of course I am voting. I live for voting. My favorite political color is blue, but I love that I surround myself with people who come from all colors. Politically, ethnically, sexually. The most important thing, and the only thing that is a requirement to be my friend, is that your heart is the color of unconditional love.

  9. Roxanne says:

    I voted (wahoo early voting!!) and I could not agree with you more. Love is love and everyone deserves it. It’s ridiculous to discriminate based on someone’s sex! I love the part you wrote about wanting your children to talk about how ridiculous it was when gay people didn’t have equal human rights. I hope the same thing for my future children! Thank you for writing this!

  10. Anonymous says:

    Beautiful. Thank you.

  11. Kate says:

    You can be sure I’ll be voting! Thank you, Nici, for sharing your well-articulated values and for inspiring all of us, parents or not, to celebrate what we love in this world and speak up boldly about the things that could be a whole lot better for the next generation.

  12. Courtney says:

    Thank you for writing this it’s so very important. I too can only hope that the next generation will look back and not believe gay people did not have the same rights. I believe if we would stop teaching hatred and bigotry to our children it would not exist.

  13. GraceesMommy says:

    I am voting because my brother, my daughter’s uncle and my mother’s son is gay. He may be just “gay” to some people but to me he is a rockstar. He by example is defining to my daughter what to laugh at and what to pull a can of whoop-ass out over..I love those moment where I get all huffy over something said and he just laughs and I love the moments that he stands his ground. I am voting because he is entitled to the same voice and choice as I have..after all I am as deliciously flawed as he is just in different areas.

  14. Sarah says:

    AMEN!!! And, I love purple. My 4 year old Anna Cate asked me recently, can girls marry girls. I said, of course they can. I have a friend who got married to a girl the weekend Molly was born so I didn’t get to go. Anna Cate said, “so her husband is a girl.” I said, “no I they are both wives.” I wany my children to know that they are accepted and should accept people, because the cost to personal lives and society when people aren’t is too great. PS I have to throw out there that I went to college in Iowa, and am very proud of that state.

  15. Nicki says:

    Totally agree with you! I’m voting for my daughter and her future.

    When one of my best friends told me he was gay, he said it was like having a favorite color. He never chose to be – it’s who he is. Love is love.

  16. Maggie says:

    This is why I love this country! So many different beliefs and values…we are so alike in so many ways, and so different in so many ways, and that is what makes our land so wonderful. I will be voting, and will vote at every opportunity because I believe EVERY VOTE COUNTS!

  17. Beth B. says:

    I voted yesterday via absentee and it felt so good. There is something amazing about exercising your right to have a voice, no matter how muted it might feel at times. Change takes time and I must believe continued devotion will always prevail.

  18. Sarah says:

    oh, and I’m voting because I’m proud to be an American and many people fought and died so that I have the right to do it as an American woman.

  19. Jenny V says:

    I will be voting on Tuesday for those individuals who support the values that our family believes in. Change takes time and patience and I am certianly willing to give at least that much. We have several dear friends who are gay…some in marriages that are more solid than any I’ve ever seen. This issue has been on my mind often, as well. Last week, my 13 year old came home with a purple heart drawn on his arm…in memory of the string of gay teenagers who have taken their own lives recently. Oh my heart…what a kid we are raising…thank goodness. And he will be with me when I walk into our town hall on Tuesday. I want our two boys to know that every voice counts.

  20. I totally agree – hoping gay marriage and love will be like “whatevs” when my kids are adults (or sooner, please).
    I live in a very politically diverse area, which is educational after growing up in a pow wow of liberals, but some of the letters to the editors make me scared for humanity.
    I’m voting because I’m lucky to exercise that right in our democracy of the people.

  21. Jo says:

    I too feel like I’m never informed enough to choose one candidate over another, but I ALWAYS vote. It’s my civic duty and my right, and I’ve always been taught that if we don’t exercise our rights, they generally get taken away.
    I love your sentiment about looking back on the issues of today the way we look back on civil rights, etc. People are people are people are people. Respect them all.

  22. Tonya says:

    I am voting, I always do, but I won’t lie….I am very disheartened. The way I see it lately is that both sides are a bunch of liars and opportunists and it really sickens me. I always feel like I am voting for the lesser of two evils. It doesn’t help that my value system encompasses both parties, which makes picking a candidate even harder. That said, I feel like Sarah, I take my right to vote seriously and am so thankful for those that went before us to give us this right.

  23. Lady George says:

    I feel as a military wife, that it is a huge injustice to every soldier that has ever fought for our freedoms, to not practice those freedoms. Many of these soldiers did not, nor do they currently have the opportunity to participate in which they have fought for.
    I believe that it is our responsibility to be informed about the decisions that we make and to stand up for that which we feel is right. I believe that every single person is entitled to their own thoughts, feelings and opinions. If God wanted us all to think the same things, and act the same way and have all the same feelings, well, He’d have made us that way. That to me is the beauty of His creation.

    Oh, and I very much feel like my color is Blue :-)

  24. RMAinMD says:

    ,,,tolerance: “willingness to recognize and respect the beliefs and practices of others”,,,thanks nici for encouraging this important dialogue,,,

  25. Wendy says:

    Right on! And yes, I am so voting!

    I have always raised my children, not as if they’re straight and might have to come out and tell me if they’re gay, but that they could fall in love with anyone. My brother is gay and he actually lied to us for many years about it. Which is crazy because we’re an incredibly accepting and non-judgmental family. I never want my kids to worry that I’ll judge whether they like orange or blue. Frankly, I think there’s something pretty awful about the word tolerance… “well, I guess I can tolerate you.” And too many people can’t even manage that.

  26. I will be voting Tuesday, because it is my right, and I am the only one who can speak my voice. Thank you formyour lovely words, Im glad my world discovered yours.

    Allison

  27. Lurky Mommy says:

    I am voting, as I do every time I have the opportunity to do so. And I’m not doing it absentee, or when I find it most convenient–just after I drop the kids off at school– because it is important to take my children with me to vote. Ever since I was juggling a screaming bundle in the front pack with a wiggly toddler dancing around my knees, I’ve taken them with me to vote. It is vital to me that they learn the importance of exercising this hard earned right. My son is old enough to understand how wrong it was for women to have to fight to be heard. He reads the paper and pays attention to the ads. He is very curious about the character of the candidates and the importance of the issues. My daughter is at the age where she is bored, rolling her eyes and saying, “I know, I know… the suffrage”. Someday she will appreciate it. But until she is old enough to exercise her own heard earned right, she’ll be squeezed into that booth right beside me.

  28. Elise says:

    What a fantastic post! I especially love this part, “I am disheartened and confused as to why people spend time and resources disapproving of, avoiding and trying to change people because of who they love.” Well, put Nici. I’ll vote on Tuesday, but there are so many crazy props in California that I need to read up on first.

  29. Jennifer says:

    I am voting on Tuesday,

    1) It is our gift and our right to vote.
    2) I am fighting apathy. You know what I’m talking about…when all of the adds and information about the candidates ends up being an open-ended verbal bash; that your only reaction is to not participate. I’m fighting the negativity. I am fighting the apathy.
    3) I hold on to the thought that my one vote can make a difference.

    BTW, that must be a shot of you from the wedding. I noticed the 2 dresses that you crafted. Oozing happiness I see.

    Have a great weekend. Cannot WAIT to see your chicken/froggy/rainbow costume.

    -Jennifer from Annapolis

  30. Elizabeth says:

    I’m voting – like you – for my girlies…to set a good example and to try and create a better future for them. It’s confusing reading those darn propositions…and I will be going on line for more answers…but I feel I have to do it.

  31. Sammie says:

    I will vote. I will vote for my daughter. I will vote for my future children. I will vote for my amazing brother who just so happens to be attracted to same sex people. I will vote for EVERYONE because I truly believe, even if they don’t all know it yet, that equal rights will make this world a MUCH better place. It saddens me that equal rights has to be a ‘debate’ or an ‘issue’. I can’t wrap my head around it. We have to vote to say that we think people should be free to love whomever they so choose. It is a tragedy. I will vote though. I will rock that ballot box because it is what we have to do to make this injustice a thing of the past. I’m voting for a better future. I’m voting for blue AND orange. :)

  32. KWQR says:

    This morning after first reading your post I asked my youngest what his favorite color is… after giving it much thought he said, “Mommy I like rainbows best. They have all of the colors together.”
    Seriously.
    Oh how I love that kid.
    Thanks for this post!
    Kate
    p.s. Oh, and I voted last week… with my crazy schedule voting by mail rocks.

  33. Anonymous says:

    Of course I’m voting. On the subject of orange though, it was always my favorite. As a little girl of about 8 I changed to blue because other kids thought it was strange to like orange. I came out of the closet on orange again when I was a teenager. That was my rebellion. I hope your girl admits to her love of orange for life!

  34. Absolutely proud to be a voter! I think voting is one of the last vestiges of democracy that we have in our country. So many things really frighten me, politically, and it may be an illusion, but casting my vote gives me the feeling that I am exercising my personal liberties! Thanks for the post!
    AMI

  35. Honey says:

    I am voting because in my state there are laws on the table that NEED to change, for the sake of our communities and the health of our people and also because I believe all people should have the right to seek their truth and follow their heart.

  36. Carrie says:

    Voting in Virginia! I’m doing it for the same reason I do most everything these days: for my son.
    Thank you so much for your post. Truer words have never been written :)

  37. leighann says:

    Oh I’m voting for sure. Someone has to in our rural community. Not many who vote, so one vote for a long way.
    I’m voting and taking my 19 month old so that she can see that it is an important responsibility, even at her tender age.

  38. J Scheppl says:

    I’m voting, that’s for sure, and I’m taking my children with me. Leading by example and hoping that someday they’ll feel its as important as I do!

  39. Callie says:

    I’m voting Nici! I actually work in Government and have had lots of people ask me opinions about judges who are up for election. And opinions? I have them.

    Also, I am also on fire for the rights of people who happen to like other people with the same private parts. I LOVE that you wrote that sentence–may I borrow it?

  40. Susan S. says:

    AMEN, SISTER! And sincere thanks. Susan

    p.s. My favorite color is purple.

  41. Tiffany says:

    My husband and I will be taking both of the kids to vote. Our five year old loves the “I Voted” stickers and the baby loves the elderly ladies that mann the polls (gotta start somewhere, right?) I have early memories of standing in the booth with my dad and getting to pull the lever that magically shut the curtains. And then looking at all the little pulls with all the words next to them. I also remember him saying to vote for him/her because they were conservative with our tax dollars. LOL. We don’t always agree on who to vote for, but I will certainly always vote and will always bring my children. That is my duty as an american citizen and a mother.
    P.S. LOVE the color blue (the azure shade).

  42. julie says:

    I’ll be voting to preserve the way of life I’ve grown to love on the Eastern Shore. I’ve lived on both sides of the Great Divide known as the Chesapeake Bay, and find that the politics are more “real” and matter more where I am now.

    In local elections, I’ll be voting for the candidates who are active with and supportive of our farmers, watermen and small businesses – regardless of political affiliation.

    I have been so upset with the partisan attack commercials that I will be voting third-party in our Governor’s race – neither major-party candidate deserves to win if they can’t run a campaign on their own merits.

    I may be throwing away my vote, as my husband says, but at least *I* will know that I voted with a clear conscience.

    Wow, I rambled up there. To sum it up, just read my first sentence :)

  43. Kate says:

    Thank you. In the past weeks and months, so many of our kids have killed themselves. And so many politicians and media types have spewed hateful, hurtful words. And every time I click on a story about gay rights or gay kids, I make a point of reading the readers’ comments at the bottom because I believe they’re a barometer of how the general public feels about the issues. The comments often leave me breathless and in tears… because there is just so much venom. My wee bean just turned 9 months old, and she has two mommies, both of whom have heard the hatred and can deal. But we grapple with how we’re going to explain it to her when the inevitable eventually happens.

    Thank you for this post (and I read all the comments – no venom, no hatred – speaks volumes about you and the people who choose to peek in on your life). Yes, vote, vote, vote!

  44. Heidi says:

    Well said! I’m with you!

  45. because I have an obligation to my children to help provide a safe world for them to thrive in.

  46. BobbysMommy says:

    I enjoyed reading your post today, though I am fiercely republican. You bet I’ll be voting here in Virginia, because I want my values represented, the same values I will be teaching my children.

  47. Michelle says:

    I will vote because I want so much for myself, aside from that I wish for my future children. I vote because my favorite color is turquoise and it is my message to share.

  48. ~ jessica says:

    I don’t want to win anything, that’s not why I’m answering your question. I am voting because I believe my voice can make a difference. Because I believe in change and making things better. Because I believe that being part of the process is infinitely better – even if I make the wrong choices – than not being part of it. And mostly because it’s my right – that so many people have fought for – to do so and it dishonors them to squander it.

  49. {Amy} says:

    I can proudly say I have not missed a VOTE yet. : ) I will be voting, my husband and I will be going together and taking our kids with us. Voting is important, it is not just an action but an event and I want my kids to know that from an early age. It is not to be taken lightly, those that have come before us have fought hard to give us this right. I am passionate about many of the same things you are but even if I wasn’t , I would still be voting.

    love this post!

  50. kendra says:

    thank you, nici. i am with you! and we’ve voted (done by mail here in oregon). a lot of what you said is why we do it – the environment, equality, and the future.

  51. Lisa says:

    Yes, I am voting and I always vote. You’re right, we don’t have to agree (as I am a conservative Republican), but we should all be voting. If you don’t vote, I believe you have no right to complain when you don’t think things the going the way you think they should! GO VOTE!!

  52. APLS says:

    thank you – from two moms and a 5 y.o. amazing boy – for your post today. whether or not people agree with my choice in partners, does not eliminate my right to have my choice in partners. as a woman who has already voted (early voting in hawaii is efficient and less hectic!) and is looking forward to the day that my planned wedding with my woman will be legally recognized in all 50 states because who i love is not going to change anyone else’s marriage …

    aloha and mahalo!!
    apls ohana

  53. J says:

    Nici,

    As a woman that has been in a same sex relationship for eleven years I want to thank you and your readers for their beautiful prose.

    You all made my heart smile today.

    (what a wonderful picture of all of you by the way! GorGeOus!)

    ~Julie

  54. Sondra says:

    I vote because it is a privilege! to be able to… We are the most fortunate people in the world and don’t forget it.
    I can’t imagine not taking advantage of that privilege…
    I’ve raised two girls who are now compassionate responsible women. There is nothing I am prouder of than who they turned out to be…

  55. April says:

    I’m voting because I live in a red state and I feel it’s unacceptable to continue to make certain citizens second-class.

  56. Kelli says:

    Way to rally the troops, Nici! I agree that voting is very important. I’ll be voting because I can.
    My favorite color growing up was always brown or red.

  57. I’ll be rockin’ the vote in Kentucky… your post was great and I shared it with many friends. Thank you!

  58. Meredith says:

    I will be taking my kids to vote so I can drop them off at school fashionably late and when asked “why are you late?”, they can answer, “Because my mom took me to vote” (again). And although I would love to walk down the aisle with MY GIRLFRIEND/LOVE/PARTNER/SWEETHEART (sporting a beautiful white dress and hot pumps and sealed with a big smooch in front of my well-meaning yet gaping relatives), I am voting because I believe in live by example. (Eat healthy food, I eat healthy food, Laugh out loud, I laugh out loud, Speak up for what you heart believes in, I vote and speak up for what I believe in…). And…Meg Whitman (running for California Governor), is an asshole.

  59. I totally agree with you. We are leaving for vacation next week and therefore took the opportunity to vote early. I took my 3y10mo daughter and showed her how it was done. I told her that when she was old enough to vote she would get to choose the people who had the same values as she does.

  60. Marti says:

    I shall be voting here in Georgia although not very enthusiastically. I think both sides are total asses most of the time and never live up to whatever they promise, but I’ll have to pick the one that I think most represents my values. I hate being on the fence so to speak but I use to think I was a Democrat and then I thought I was a Republican but now I think “I’m for the better of the people” Being homosexual doesn’t seem natural to me but I don’t judge people on it, some of my most dear friends have lovers of the same sex and I still love them. Some of my friends think it’s the worst thing in the world but I like to define myself as loving people and loving life. I send my daughter to a preschool where any religion is welcome and gay parents are allowed to send their kids too and it isn’t frowned upon. They get to explore every holiday and every season and they use every art medium there is to express themselves. My daughter thinks she is Cinderella, I never liked princess but now I dress up like one with her because it’s how she defines herself. I want my daughter to be herself and not what anyone else says she should be. I want her to love what she loves and be what she wants to be. I hate it when people are “scary political” like there way is the only way but I have to say I wish we really had something other than “the right” or “the left” it’s very frustrating for me.

  61. Kim says:

    Even though, I am not overly thrilled with any of my choices this year in Michigan. I am voting because it is our right as an American citizen. I am voting because men and women protect our right to vote. I am voting to give myself a voice and to hopefully change the world for the better for my children.

    By the way your comment on Gay rights is right on…everyone should have an equal opportunity for love, marriage and tax breaks :)

  62. About me: says:

    We always vote on the designated Tuesday and never before. It’s a ritual we enjoy; walking to the Baptist church with our girls and flashlights after dinner and the workday is done. And I always get chills to hear, “Amy Pence-Brown has voted!”

  63. I am a bisexual female, with five children, including a lesbian daughter. Our school is trying to pass a levy. We need to protect our children, their schools and all of our rights.

  64. Oh girl, will I ever be voting. I have a political streak a mile wide. I get all fired up and opinionated. We’ll be stir frying up some garlic chicken and sticky rice (in lieu of take-out, like we did in the olden days) and camping in front of our ancient tv for the night, watching the results trickle in.

    It pains me to think of those who choose to look the other way on voting day. Take a stand, people! Whatever it is that you believe, be educated and stand UP!

    Love this post, Lady. Love your sentiments and your kick in the rear.

  65. shadymama says:

    voting = done (mail-in). because it is both a right *and* a privilege and i try not to take either of those things fer granted.

  66. I can’t imagine not voting. I can’t imagine raising my boys in a world where orange and blue shouldn’t co-exsist.
    Thanks for the rally!
    xoxo

  67. Islamama says:

    i’m voting because otherwise all my late night rantings at online newspapers are in vain….

    Because I currently live in a state symbolized by a rainbow that discriminates against same sex love…

    Because as Jon Stewart rather eloquently put it…”Are we the people we were waiting for or does it turn out those people are still out there and we don’t have their number?”

    Because I still have hope we’re those people.

  68. Mary Beth says:

    I’m voting because I want to keep my congressman in office. I’m glad he voted for the healthcare bill. I’m glad he helped pass the stimulus. In addition, he’s done more for my community than either of his opponents, and I want him to keep up the good work.

  69. Caroline says:

    i’m voting because i’m grateful i can, i’m proud of the voice that i have, and like you, have some very strong thoughts that are not my opinions; they are my beliefs. i will vote again and again to support people who want what i want for humans and for our country.

  70. Andrea says:

    I’m voting because I think it’s important that the people who hate the most shouldn’t be the only voices heard.

  71. Hilary says:

    I’m voting because someone died for MY RIGHT to vote!! I’m also taking all 3 of my children with me, as I always do, so that they know I voted and I cared and I let my voice be heard. I too hope that my children will be part of a generation to balk at the idea of not being able to love and marry who you so choose, to not have basic human rights because of who you love.

  72. Elizabeth says:

    And the church says….Amen! Go Nici! I will be rocking the vote on Tuesday! Why? 1. Because I can. 2. Because I care. 3. Because I’m tired of feeling disappointed, hurt, sad, and embarrassed on how humanity is treated today. I need to believe that the good will rise & win. God is love.

    xoxo
    Lizzy V.

  73. Jada says:

    I will be voting here in Kansas:) I’m not sure yet who I will all vote for though – guess that is homework for the next few days.

  74. Amie says:

    I am voting because I feel no vote is too small and I want to be a positive example to my children, and teach them that if you feel strongly about something, you should be able to speak freely about it.

  75. Aly says:

    I will be voting for the candidates that represent godly values because those are the ones I will be teaching my children.

  76. Abby says:

    I’m voting on tuesday!! I remember going to the polls with my mom and dad and now I get to take my 3 girls. Voting is an expression of our freedom and other people in other lands would die to have the opportunity. No matter if you are left, right, middle or nothing. Research for yourself, and vote for your childrens future!

  77. EcoGrrl says:

    wow, i am so disappointed by some of the ignorant comments i am reading, especially the first one calling feminism a reason for problems, and another saying that people ‘died’ for our right to vote. first, as another commenter said, feminism is freedom – it give us choice to make the right decisions for ourselves including NOT having a family, and showing our girls that you don’t have to be betty crocker or “crafty” or work from home to be a good mother. i was most disappointed when my mother gave up on her career to stay home, because i lost my role model. regarding voting, women have had the right to vote for less than 100 years and it was because of women protesting and insisting on their rights to be treated equally (which, hello, is what feminism is), not because of any man dying in a war. when the constitution was created, women were excluded altogether and african-americans were considered less than a full human being. it disappoints me to see how so many women don’t support other women’s choices and respect diversity, from whether we choose to have careers to who we choose to love.

    i’m glad to see the positive, forward thinking women commenting in here…

    regarding voting – mailed mine in 2 weeks ago, and support vote-by-mail in all states to make it easier to vote! now, if i could just get those waste-of-a-good-tree political junk flyers out of my mailbox…

  78. aucoeur says:

    Well, the spiteful part of me votes because it cancels out my FIL’s vote…and you can’t complain if you didn’t vote…but in all seriousness, I vote because I care about the country my daughter lives in and I want the best people there making it better for her.

    If you haven’t heard of it, votesmart.org is a great place to go get information about all of the candidates. They also have a neat tool called “Vote Easy” which matches you to candidates based upon your political priorities. http://www.votesmart.org/voteeasy

    Amber http://aucoeur.wordpress.com

  79. Already done! Love voting through the mail. So simple and I can take my time search all the candidates and issues and really think about my choice. Great blog.
    It makes me feel good knowing there are so many conscientious loving parents in Missoula! That’s one of the benefits of raising our kids here.

  80. Maggie says:

    I have voted – absentee because I’m in Scotland. I love voting, always have. The second I turned 18, I was down registering. Not only do I like having a say in what goes on, it gives me a license to bitch about things that are not right. No voting, no bitching.

    My oldest daughter asked me what I would say if she brought home a girlfriend. I looked her dead in the eye and told her, “Unless you learn to clean up your room, no woman in her right mind is going to want you.” :) And then I said it would be cool, that it’s the soul you love, not the dangly parts on the outside.

  81. fricka says:

    Am voting, always voting! And foot polling and calling and sign holding and bumper sticker having…

    I vote because it’s my voice. I vote because I want my kids to see responsible active citizens in their parents and so they see how they can effect change. Lately I’ve been voting with a deeper sense of urgency because of the fear/hate machine that seems to be working overtime to frighten us into submission.

  82. Always have voted. Always will. SO important. Thanks for a GREAT post.

    In the rainbow of this world; I really like green.

  83. kris says:

    Amen, sister! to everything you posted, Nici. Especially this part: “I am disheartened and confused as to why people spend time and resources disapproving of, avoiding and trying to change people because of who they love. It is hateful, unproductive and unlike the deity whose approval they seek.”

    I’m voting this weekend (I’m in Seattle and most of (all?) WA votes solely via mail-in ballots now.) My boyfriend and I will be filling our ballots out, after doing our final bits of research on a few of the candidates and initiatives we’re less familiar with.

    Voting is so important–and it does take time to be an informed voter (which for me includes avoiding all the TV and radio ads with the voice-of-doom narrating them) and reading up on the candidates and watching some debates, but I can’t imagine not voting, or voting blindly.

    Love reading your blog :-)

  84. Anonymous says:

    I am voting in this election because of the re-districting that will happen next year and its effect for the.next.10.years. on our polictical system here in Ohio. I am pushing every person I know to get out and vote! Michelle S.

  85. Coni S. says:

    I voted! So important…especially now! What we do now will effect the future of our children and others…VOTE! I think your blog is amazing…thanks for sharing.

  86. Gramomster says:

    I’m voting. I almost always vote. I’ve missed a couple, admittedly, usually just got sooooo busy I missed the cutoff. But I really try to vote every time I have the opportunity.
    My grandmother, who raised me, always took me with her. Some of my earliest memories are of going to the polls with her.
    My husband was born the day JFK was elected. His mother insisted that she vote. There was a ridiculous and historic snowstorm that day, and my late FIL couldn’t get her to the polls, despite his best efforts. She was so determined, that finally an ambulance company donated a ride. The event made the local papers. My MIL was the last person to vote in Kent County, Michigan on November 8, 1960. Hubby likes to say the only excuse he has to not vote after that entry into the world is that he’s dead.
    We took our kids with us always. I was heartened yesterday after hearing my 20 year old daughter say she hopes the facility in which she put herself over the weekend lets her go vote on Tuesday. The last conversation we had, she felt that voting was pointless, that the way in which we make our political decisions eliminates by its very nature the possibility of getting a governing body that hears and responds to the needs and concerns of the people, and will never be humanistic because it is so money-focused. If you don’t already have quite a bit of money, you can’t even consider a run for office, so those without money cannot be fairly represented. Well, I will say that we succeeded in raising kids who genuinely THINK about politics! They know the constitution better than Christine O’Donnell, not that it’s difficult to, but still…
    My son is 18 this year. He’ll vote. When he was 16, and unschooling, he was our debate watcher/reporter. He watched EVERY debate, he analyzed and considered and advised. Amazing kid, that one.
    This year I will again be taking our 4 year old grandson, who we are raising, to the polls with me. I’m the gramma taking the child now. I’m teaching another generation to never take the right to vote for granted. It’s our right, it’s our privilege, it’s our civic duty.
    Not that I feel all positive and rosy about any of the potential outcomes, and I echo the aforementioned feeling of having to choose the lesser of two evils, but I also am firmly in the ‘no voting no bitching’ camp. So, being able to bitch with a clear conscience is honestly probably reason number 1 that I persist with the practice! Who doesn’t love a good political ranting!? And venting!

    My favorite color is purple. But if the kid gets into his school of choice, I guess I’m going to have to learn to love maize and blue.

    *le sigh*

  87. I have voted every time I’ve been able to since I turned 18 eleven years ago.
    I vote because I can. My 94 year old great grandma who is still with us and who can still sit and talk about the 1930’s like they were yesterday, was born 4 years before women were allowed to vote. It blows my mind that I have a living family member that was born not being able to do something in this country because of her sex.

    I am very much on the same page with your views and I very much appreciate this post!

  88. Becky says:

    I’m voting!

    I was going to say more, but then accidentally caught a glimpse of this comment:

    ” i was most disappointed when my mother gave up on her career to stay home, because i lost my role model. “

    Huh? I can’t even put a sentence together now :)

    Oh, well. I’m going to go be a role model to my kids now.

    Much love, and love your blog, Stay-at-home-homeschooling-mom in NE :)

  89. Jessica says:

    Ever since I was able to vote, I did…but it wasn’t until I became a Mommy did I see the true importance in voting. My son will know what an important day the first Tuesday in November is and that he must ALWAYS express his views and values. I LOVE that you are expressing yours and hopefully getting everyone excited about letting their voices be heard!

  90. Molly says:

    When I was little, my mom would take all five of her children with her to the polls every year. She would tell us how important it is to vote, that every voice needs to be heard for us to stay strong as a community and a nation. Today, I treat Election Day like a holiday for my two boys. I don’t vote by mail, because I want them to see other people (who are different from me) at the polls. They come into the booth with me, and help me feed my ballot into the machine. Of course, they love the stickers and candy best, but I hope that as adults they will look back on Election Day as an event to participate in – not to watch on TV.

  91. Molly says:

    BTW, when I ask my four-year-old “what’s your favorite color?” he replies, “all of them.” What a great answer!

  92. .:Heather:. says:

    I am voting because I want to teach my girls that one little voice makes a difference.

  93. Sam says:

    I am grateful my sisters before me made sure that I had the right to vote. I am voting because I care. I care about the world my daughter will grow up in. I spent time learning about the candidates and the propositions. I demand responsible and ethical leadership. I care about people and making sure everyone has equal rights. I care about my community and the environment.

  94. kate says:

    Okay … you talked me into it. Seriously, I had decided to just let it pass. Tuesday is my birthday, too. It was just too depressing to turn 50 and have to vote for some of these ya-hoos! But … you are RIGHT! What kind of example does it set for my two young people if their own mother won’t vote?

    I will do my part!
    Thanks!

  95. A + M + S says:

    I’m a new reader! Great blog :)
    I’m voting because I’m an American and I’m a role model to my daughter.
    I think about her future ALL the time. I wish I could make it a safe happy place for her, forever.

    aleytac at hotmail dot com

  96. Oh, and, I vote because I was raised to cherish this right. My dad was born in Argentina but moved here when he was about six. He earned his citizenship in the 80’s when I was a kid. My sister and I sat in the courtroom and witnessed him raise his hand and earn the right to vote. He was so proud.
    He instilled in us a deep appreciation for the responsibility of being a citizen of this country and made voting to us just that, a responsibility.

  97. You betcha. If nothing else, I vote to cancel out my husband.

    Do you and yours have the EXACT same color hair?! Love that pic.

  98. AussieMum says:

    I have lived in the US for 14 years yet still haven’t taken the next step…becoming a citizen. Part of me is scared to for fear of ‘losing’ that connection to my home country. However as I get older and now have two precious kiddos I think I need to be a citizen so I can vote for my kids who are citizens and for their future…

  99. TRB Holt says:

    BRAVO my darling daughter BRAVO!

    Voting is a privilege….one that I take to heart; I take great pride in wearing my “I VOTED” sticker throughout the day! AND will wear it proudly next Tuesday.

    I don’t know why humans are so quick to pass judgment/be mean/bully, etc ….to fellow humans, truly I don’t.

    Here is a quick memory from my childhood, I remember it so vividly….I was probably 9 or 10 so 1960/1961….I had just taken a bath, my mom was brushing my wet hair we were watching the news on TV. There was a horrible scene of black people being beaten by white people, unrest in the south. I remember asking Mother, ” When did this happen?” She said ….”THIS IS NOW, THIS WAS TODAY!”…..It was beyond my realm of comprehension, I was a small child in Montana….I have since lived in many states, many cultures and it is STILL beyond my realm of comprehension!

    So YES we need to teach our children….as I have done & as you are doing, and so on and so on and so on and so on………I LOVE you Burb.

    PS….Gramomster we need to meet!

  100. Jennifer says:

    I just read through all of the comments and love the diversity here. I am a registered Republican, but I do not think all Republican candidates are true to their platform. I am in Texas and we have a governors race this year. I will be voting for the Libertarian running. She is not going to win…. But, I have to vote for the worse of the 3 evils. I believe we need more fiscally conservative candidates to stop this excessive spending on both sides of the isle. I feel that many of the social issues both parties run on have gotten out of hand. No, I do not think abortion should be freely done or used as birth control. But, I do not feel I have the right to tell someone they can or cannot do it. I believe any baby created should be born and has a purpose in life. I have several family members and friends who are gay. Still love them the same. And yes, Jesus would have dinner with them and hang out for the bible tells me so! My votes go to those that align with glorifying God’s plan. And sadly no one fits that role! Evil lurks on both sides of the isle and I strongly believe in term limits to recycle out life time politicians!

    I despise the color blue! Reason? Because my mom LOVES it and she made me have my room blue all of my life and it is not allowed in my home unless you are wearing it! :o) I love RED! Pink! Green!

  101. Jennifer says:

    Wow, did I just say worse of the 3 evils? LOL I think ya’ll know what I meant! The less worse of the 3!

  102. Aurah Landau aurah99@hotmail.com says:

    Want you to know…I’m running a campaign up in Alaska…not THAT race, you know, the one dominated by a crazy tea party guy who had his armed goons arrest a reporter…but state house race where a really good man with crazy huge integrity who cares about my beautiful state is fighting for his life against a lying right-wing nut job. Your blog is keeping me sane and grounded…when I have a moment to read it at 3am when my days ends. Thank you. Blessings to you as you take up arms about whatever makes your blood pound. We need more heart and fury in our love of the world.

  103. Jennifer says:

    I have to chime in again after reading your momma’s post…. I pride myself on how I was raised to love people of all skin colors as that is what my parents taught us. Living in Texas segregation was alive and well. I love the story my mom would tell where they were at a park in Dallas, Texas where consessions were sold in the 1960’s. Said no negros allowed. My mom saw this black family wanted to purchase something and she went up to them and said, give me your money, tell me what you would like and I will purchase it for you. I get goosebumps from just writing it out.

    My husband who is a 3rd generation Mexican American saw this segragation first hand as his older siblings went to an elementary school at the end of their block that was segragated. It was lifted right before my husband started in kindergarten. He spoke only Spanish upon starting. He had a tough time in school due to the language issue. In middle school he made a turn around and was an honor student till graduation. He is the only child of 10 to go to college. Major in math/minor in Physics and he finished his masters in system engineering last year. His whole issue is wanting to prove he can do things and be accepted/hired for a job to be based on his education not skin color. He trained astronauts for 14 years here in Houston and just left NASA this past July to put his skills to work elsewhere. HE made a difference in his life and encourages other people to do so as well.

  104. Ellie says:

    Tuesday will be my third time voting since I became an American citizen; it will be my husband’s first. Having grown up in Eastern Europe, behind the Iron Curtain, we have more than ordinary appreciation for the freedoms and rights this country gives us. We are also painfully aware of the freedoms it still withholds from certain of its citizens, whether because of color, income, gender, or sexual orientation. With all their propositions and measures and what have you, California elections require a Ph.D., but we are preparing and will walk with our children to the polls on Tuesday.

  105. Mr. Jayson says:

    I vote for a better tomorrow for me and my family!

  106. Lucy says:

    I love what you say here. I can’t vote, because I’m English (pretty good excuse, right?) but I am interested, I’m watching, I’m reading, I’m hoping not too much lunacy prevails, and I’m …yeah, you know, with you in spirit. Wish I could vote, more interesting than our election. Because there your local party candidate vote is going to determine the Prime Minister and blah blah.

  107. Carrie says:

    I vote because of the millions in this country who can’t because they are “illegal, ” because of those who are uninformed. I vote because of the hundreds of millions in this world who would give everything for the chance to do so.

  108. BlandOstrich says:

    I’m voting because I’ve spent enough time in clinics where people couldn’t pay and therefore couldn’t buy medications that would help them keep their feet, because if I was two degrees gayer I’d be right there next to all my friends who can’t marry their life partners, because “less government” and “Pro-Life” from the same mouth mark a liar, because people in the armed forces shouldn’t be subject to maiming and death in a conflict whose origin is lost in political fog, because public school should kick every other school’s ass, and because I’d like to see the day when being an out atheist doesn’t jeapardize one’s livelihood.

  109. enjoliver1 says:

    Totally voting. For me, my kids, for those who are discriminated against. I’m a SAHM of 4 kiddos and wife to one of the greatest hubbies ever. I don’t pretend to know what one Deity thinks or what one Book says (or how it is interpreted). Love. I’m voting for the love of ALL people regardless of choices, love of animals and people by providing them room to roam and food that is good for their bodies. Love.

  110. Gramomster says:

    @BlandOstrich
    yesyesyes!!! ‘Less government and pro-life … mark a liar’. Right effing on!

    @TRB
    Looking forward to it! We picked up our little Dodge RV yesterday… preparations for our move to Montana! So, next summer sometime, if you’re out there, we gotta meet. Or maybe, when we’re on our way. Connor’s other grands live in St. Paul, and we may stop by.

  111. Brittany says:

    I am voting! To set an example for my kids and to help bring representatives into office that will not support more funding of abortion. I believe that abortion is a vicious cycle that hurts women and children in so many ways and I would love to see more support of the organizations that reach out to support scared pregnant women rather than of the clinics who offer a woman the murder of her child as a “solution” to her difficulties.
    Great post for inspiring others to get out and vote Nici!

  112. Annie says:

    I will vote. I will vote for my children, my family, and me because this is our world and our voices need to be heard.

  113. my daughters favorite color is orange too. i always think, oh i wish bayley had a little friend like margot. they would totally click. and i LOVE your post…like jaw dropping, oh now i get it, awesome!!! you told what ist all about and i so respect your tactful honesty.
    and honestly i wasnt gonna vote, but now i am. none of the politicians got to me, but you did. wish you were running for mayor of california.
    xoxo
    Abbey

  114. Sage says:

    Yup, voted! I love vote by mail… it means I never have an excuse and always get to count! I also love how simply you can describe prejudice against being gay. In a state were the red flag flys high, and I often hear “love the sinner, not the sin”, it is so refreshing to come to this space and feel like I have found my niche, my community (even if my physical presence is 1,000’s of miles away), a place where I find both logic, reason, true understanding, acceptance, and love.

    It is a sad, hateful world we live in, we are raising our kids in. So many great divides, and even if you choose to find the beauty and good and commonness in all of us, it is hard, plain naive I think, to not see the state of things nationally. To not notice the extreme’s.

    So thanks for this great post! Can’t wait to go back and read the comments from others… I love these diggy posts that get everyone all fired up!

    xo

  115. Sage says:

    Yup, voted! I love vote by mail… it means I never have an excuse and always get to count! I also love how simply you can describe prejudice against being gay. In a state were the red flag flys high, and I often hear “love the sinner, not the sin”, it is so refreshing to come to this space and feel like I have found my niche, my community (even if my physical presence is 1,000’s of miles away), a place where I find both logic, reason, true understanding, acceptance, and love.

    It is a sad, hateful world we live in, we are raising our kids in. So many great divides, and even if you choose to find the beauty and good and commonness in all of us, it is hard, plain naive I think, to not see the state of things nationally. To not notice the extreme’s.

    So thanks for this great post! Can’t wait to go back and read the comments from others… I love these diggy posts that get everyone all fired up!

    xo

  116. megan says:

    voting because if i don’t i don’t have a right to bitch. and there is a lot to bitch about right now- oh lord is there a lot to bitch about.

  117. babygalah says:

    WOW! Great post and some really interesting comments.
    I’m a gay Australian woman. My favourite colour is blue.
    It actually pains me but to say, but how Americans vote, will help/hinder the rate at which my family gain equal rights here in Australia. That’s just the way the world works. When you’re voting, you’re not just voting for the interests of your own backyard, state, country, but the entire planet.
    Interesting as well as voting is compulsory here, but I still take my choice of who I vote seriously and relish the oppurtunity to vote.
    Thanks for a great post and even deeper thanks for raising the next generation to not just “tolerate” gay people.
    Dee

  118. Anonymous says:

    Yes, I will vote! The new Health Care Bill makes me so angry. Should the government set how much money doctors can earn? Or how long my child should wait for treatment? The government needs to take one BIG giant step back out of our lives!

  119. Momma Wodarz says:

    I am voting because I want to help elect people who will make a difference for my children. I am, also voting so I can take them with me and they can vicariously experience the thrill of democracy. One of my fondest memories of growing up is going to vote with my Mom. It always felt like I was getting a sneak peak into a club that I could join some day. While I like that absentee voting has made it easier for people to vote, it makes me sad that many kids won’t get the first hand excitement of going to the polls. But then again, it could just be because I was nerdy even as an elementary school student!

  120. Chiot's Run says:

    My Favorite color is green – bright yellowy green to be exact.

    I vote because I hate the way the current system works, I vote to get the current cronies out and get new blood in. I vote because I can, I can’t forget that it was only around 90 years ago that I wouldn’t have been able to vote.

    Agricultural/Food policies and campaign funding are what fuel my voting choices. I spend hours researching candidates and where their funds come from, I vote for someone regardless of party affiliation or moral choices if they don’t get funding from corporations that are evil. If I can’t find out any information, I vote for the new guy, the lesser known guy because I’m pretty certain he doesn’t yet have big pharma, big ag, or big business paying him for his vote.

  121. Lauren says:

    …and just when I thought I couldn’t love your blog more. I often read it and send to my partner of 9 years (“I can’t wait til we _____” *insert putting together Margot’s red kitchen or any number of other amazing mom things). We were married in San Francisco July 2008, and we’re so fortunate that OUR marriage is still legal (for the time being). We live in Atlanta (my partner went to UGA, probably even when you were there, since we’re all the same age…small world), so even if our state doesn’t recognize it, it was amazing to be cheered on when walking into City Hall in my wedding dress holding the hand of the woman I love.
    We’re planning our family now, working out timing, dealing with the further financial implications on top of those that all couples have to consider (who in the world ever thought I’d need to buy sperm?). Every time I see your precious girls, it further reinforces that I CAN’T WAIT to be a mother (between you and Kelle, my ovaries are killing regularly).
    Thank you for this post. Thank you for raising daughters who will love and respect everyone. Thank you for being parents who support, no matter what color their babies love. Thank you for sharing your stories and for making me smile…and get a little teary eyed today. XO.

  122. My thoughts are simple. You can’t make yourself heard if you’ve got no voice.

    I will be voting today

  123. Lauren says:

    …me again…and YES, of course I’m voting. Always have, always will. And my favorite color is RED! All shades of red! (though politically, I’m all blue)

  124. Joan Redeen says:

    I voted and I’m proud to say that I am raising a much more politically conscientious son (21 now) than I was at his age! He’s educating me on the issues!

  125. Lena says:

    I am not a US Citizen, and therefore I cannot vote. After almost 20 years in this country, I feel it is time to change that. This is the country where (hopefully) we will raise our children, where I want to live and where I too want my voice to be heard. It’s not enough anymore to pester friends and neighbors to vote! For me, applying for citizenship feels a little bit like giving up a part of who I am, which is why it has taken me so many years. But look out world, because I’m ready now!! Thank you for the inspirational blog entry!

  126. Laura says:

    Nicci, you are such a lovely person. Your girls are so lucky. I feel as you do and I voted. Rock on!

  127. Jackie says:

    I voted! I voted for the future that my little lady will be a part of!

    http://www.craigmilecrew.blogspot.com

  128. FinnyKnits says:

    Yeah, I’m way late commenting on this, here, but you KNOW I voted my ass off.

    I vote by mail, just so that I have a reminder that my votes are waiting to be cast long before Nov 2 shows up. Bubba and I sit in front of the fire (usually it’s cold enough) in our living room and read through our sample ballots, sharing opinions on the measures and candidates. We don’t always agree.

    And you know what? That’s fucking great. Because we each get our own votes to do with as we wish.

    Meanwhile, one of the measures we voted for extra hard (we even filled in our ballots simultaneously “for luck”) didn’t pass, and we’re disappointed.

    When Prop 8 passed during the Presidential election, we were crushed.

    We continue to wonder how the majority of people can be FOR hate and pain.

    *Sigh* Here’s to love and peace, friends. I guess I am just a hippie after all. But I’m a hippie that VOTES.

  129. Mary Thomas says:

    YES. I know this is old but it doesn’t go out of style. YES.