With my own two hands I will snuggle my babes and remember to be thankful every day for the calm and peace around us, for as long as we have it.

I am heartbroken by the events that took place in my state this weekend. The hateful rhetoric so carelessly put forth by politicians in my state and elsewhere is shameful. I hope people know that we’re not all a bunch of gun toting illegal immigrant hating tea party members. There is a string group of progressive minds here who are working for change. The media just never shows us because they would rather talk about the pink underwear Joe Arpaio humiliates our prisoners in and our Governor’s horribly embarassing public speaking skills.

There is hope here. I promise.

Thank you for thinking of us. 🙂

Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this video. It’s so, so important.

I too fear bringing children into our world…I’m a newlywed, so I’m some time away from when we hope to be blessed with children, yet, I’d love to hear more about this (for me, difficult) decision that you and Andy have made to have children in such an uncertain world. Your children seem to brighten your world, and I’m wondering what effect those little girls have on helping you, and parents everywhere, to move past such unabashed violence as this.

Your thoughts and my thoughts on the shooting retreated to the same place. I immediately thought, we all live our entire lives to die one way – and those people in AZ lived their entire lives, brief (9 years old?), or not – they lived their lives complete up to that point to die in that one, quick, pointless way. And it makes me so sad. My mind automatically wanders to my sweet babies as I shepard them through their one life, preparing them for what I’d always imagined would be purposeful and beautiful. Someone else’s mamma did the same thing; and now they’re dead – one terrible step toward the wrong place at the wrong time. One entire beautiful life that just…ended. I am afraid for my babies. You’re right – in the end it’s so much more than a soundbite. And what’s the point? It’s just easier to scare people than it is to inspire, I think. Some people appeal to that lowest common denominator. And that’s reckless.

Thank you for honoring your inclination…for bringing up such a sad, but true point. I’m guilty for always trying to focus on the positive in a way that makes me ignore the state of our country, our plante, where we are headed. But, it is important to do so. Especially for the future of our children.

After I heard about the violence on Saturday, I spent a lot of time thinking about this quote from Bishop Desmond Tutu. He said, “God loves you, but he also loves your enemies.” Jason Loughner is a very, very ill person. Doesn’t excuse what he did; nothing will ever make that right. However, he is also a victim. It’s very difficult for me not to look at the Sarah Palins and Jesse Kellys as the “enemy.”

Thanks for the song, Nici. That’s beautiful. Gonna go out and work on holding the world together today, with my own two hands.

I could not agree more. I think about that so much.. everyone is someone’s baby. Some mama somewhere held that shooter as a baby with all of her hopes and dreams for his little life. It makes my heart hurt. And it makes me even more focused on teaching my little girl how to love and be loved in this crazy world.

Wow. Where do you get that the man who brutally shot those poor people had anything to do with Sarah Palin or any Conservative?

Thanks for posting this. I can’t stand some of these flippant remarks from politicians. You do not know violence from guns until it affects your life.

My Mom’s Father & Uncle were murdered on the side of the road when she was 2 and her brother was 8 by someone robbing them as they took their daily deposit of earnings from the diner they owned to the bank.

She grew up without a Dad, and my Grandmother did everything in her power to put food on the table: sewing, alterations etc.

It is no comfort at all that guns are tolerated and promoted by politicans. My mom goes to NRA rallies to protest and when asked about guns she simply says I grew up without a Dad and had a very sad childhood because of a gun.

I know people are entitled to them by the consitution but is little comfort when someone dies tragically as a result. It does affect families and communities. Retaliation is not the answer.

With my own two hands I’ll work the earth to bring nutritious food back to reality and fend off the advancing forces of Monsanto and similar food mutating evils.

With my own two hands I’ll work our bee hives to help ensure that there will be pollinators for the crops of the future.

I’ll vote, I’ll keep the discussion alive, I’ll shake hands with the enemy in the hopes of igniting positive discussion.

For all future generations even though I won’t be contributing to the population by adding my own kids.

Just because it’s important to leave this place better than we found it, regardless of who will live here.

one of my favorite songs. ever.
i feel silly saying that this tragedy has been hard for me. because it hasn’t. and yet it has …
because stella is at an age where she’s understanding. and hearing. and i have to come up with reasoning. and this is a really hard thing to explain. how do you explain why a nine year old died?
so … with my two hands. i hug. and i use my words to teach her that there is a lot of scary and big and awful out in the world. and then i ask her to help me come up with ways that we can make the world better.
and i just hope that she listens and tries to make this world a better place someday.
thanks for caring. you make me feel better about bringing my kids up in this world. because they won’t be alone in their thinking.

Thanks for writing about this. My blog is so full of the frivolity that makes life fun but then something happens like this and I think….okay, now what can I write? How could I try and write about that? How could I NOT?

I’m glad you didn’t erase your first paragraph about housekeeping. Life goes on no matter what. It’s like this beautiful poem and I forget who wrote it, but to paraphrase:

after all, when the war is over, someone had to clean up, you know.

Don’t retreat, reload. Sarah Palin: just please, please, please…Stop.

Melina
http://www.thewildercoast.com

This shooter in Arizona was a registered democrat. HOW you get a Sarah Palin connection is ridiculous. He was a liberal. Blame your way of thinking before blaming the conservative party.

http://i55.tinypic.com/ztcjdi.jpg

Thank you for saying this on your blog. I just really think it’s time to definitively stand up and say something about this kind of devolution in political debate and violent rhetoric. Even when it means people who can’t or don’t want to see the connection attack you for it.

I keep thinking of that poor 9 year old girl that was killed. An innocent babe with so much promise, it sounds like she was spirited little lady who planned to do great things.
God bless her in heaven and her family.
All we can do is bring our children up knowing right from wrong and by showing them just what that they can acomplish do for the world with their own two hands.

Another lovely blog. Thank you. I just want to respond briefly to the Palin defenders: Freedom of speech is guaranteed under the first amendment, (ironically Gabby Giffords read the first amendment last week when congress recited the constitution aloud for the first time ever). However, that right comes with a great deal of responsibility, particularly for those in a position of power. As citizens, we cannot make even the slightest violent comment when going through airport security without being subject to arrest, fines, imprisonment, etc. for example. People who SHOULD know better have been mixing gun metaphors with their heated political rhetoric and it has had catastrophic results for the 20 families directly affected by this shooting, as well as the entire nation. Being a leader means you LEAD and one needs to be sure of where they are taking their followers. That reality is likely settling in pretty hard on Mrs.Palin and the others who espoused “second amendment solutions” in the last election cycle.
I’m not particularily religous, despite all those years in catholic school, but The Prayer of Saint Francis has been with me since this tragedy happened.
“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love…”
Now is the time for us all to be instruments of peace and sow love.

Oh goodness, y’all. I do not blame Sarah Palin for the shooting. I am sorry that conclusion is happening. Let me further explain.

I do not like the language she uses. I don’t think gun metaphors are appropriate. It is dangerous. I use her, a well-known and influential figure who regularly coins aggressive soundbites, as an example for the collective shift that needs to happen in our culture, as addressed in Olbermann’s piece. I am not talking left versus right here.

I hope you will reread my post through that lens and recognize my hopeful intention as a mama, neighbor, wife, daughter, friend and activist who seeks kindness, compassion and peace.

I am not a Sarah Palin supporter, I certainly would not care to have her as my president, that said, you have to make quite a leap to associate this with her. I think that the blame should rest squarely on Jared Loughner. He made the decision to do this and followed through with his plan. He let his mind go to a place where violence was the answer. He obtained a gun. He was willing to risk innocent people’s lives, including children. In the end he killed and injured those people. I don’t think you can pin this on Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, violent video games, President Obama, David Wynn Miller, or even Loughner’s parents. He is an adult, he did this himself. At a certain point you have to grow up and take responsibility for your life. It doesn’t matter what your childhood was like, whether you have no parents or multiple stepparents, you decide what your life as an adult will be. Tragically, this was his choice. .
I agree with what you wrote, Nici, about how scary it is to have children in this day and age. I am so thankful for my 3 children and the privilege I have to teach them to be kind, trustworthy, compassionate, faithful, responsible, aware human beings. I want them to know that life is precious, that imagination and individuality are priceless. That love, hope and joy come from a God who knows and loves each one of them. I hope and pray I succeed in what I am trying to impart to them.

The violence on Saturday only made our piles of dust bunnies and hungry tummies begging for Annie’s Mac and Cheese all the much more trivial. Although we huddled close and thankful, we unlatched the hug in apprehension for our future, both near and far beyond now.

Political rivalries with their sharp tooth rhetoric will only incite more social unrest. As if the tears seen in our Gulf’s oil spill weren’t enough for us to step back and change the course of our thoughts, actions, dialogue.

I, too, seek peace and held Olbermann’s piece close to my heart.

Palin supporter’s or not, this post has nothing to do with that obviously. I get the point of this post Nici. (Not sure how it could have been missed)It is a great one too. Holding my babe close as I can is how I plan to use my hands right now.

Nici,

I am relieved that you chose to write about Saturday’s tragic event. It’s difficult to go there, the place that we (American’s) seem to go more often than we used to. It is a scary place.

I so agree with you. All of us were born, all of us at some time or another were innocent.

Jared is the sole person responsible for this. He is anti semite, Giffords is Jewish, he is anti government. He list Mein Kopf and the communist manifesto as his favorite reads. He has had Giffords as a target for quite sometime as he also retained a thank you letter from her office ,from 2007, for attending one of her on the corner events.

This is by far not a right versus left issue. And does not need to be made out as one either. The left wing media, of course, is running with it to make it out to be.

Sarah Palin is not at fault and how about picking out others who have use the same rhetoric. Being politically correct is a joke now days and that whole concept needs to just go out with the bath water as people love to spin on it.

Guns don’t kill people, people with guns kill people. And yes, they get into the wrong people’s hands sometime.

Wow. Looks like the conservatives are getting their knickers in a twist over the Palin comment.

I agree wholeheartedly with you Nici.

Teresa

http://www.preparingforthebaby.com

I too can’t stop thinking about this tragedy. It’s baffling to me that someone could hate so much as to pick up a gun?!

My heart goes out to all the mothers involved…from the mom of the little girl to Jared’s mom. I agree that being a mom makes me realize that we all have too much in common to be so angry all the time.

I live in Phoenix, and we were just as shocked as the rest of the world that something like this could happen, so unexpectedly, out of nowhere. What if you were the one going to the grocery store that day, not even involved in the politics set up out front. What a sad situation. Some people are crazy. And he had that gun legally, which is even the sicker part. Any crazy nut can legally get a gun. Too easy. I agree with your statements. Sarah Palin’s target crosshairs disgust me. Obviously in hindsight, it was a very, very bad idea. But it was a bad idea even before this tragedy. People are so desensitized to violence, who cares if I put crosshairs over someone’s name?! It is wrong, this shooting was wrong. And I agree, I don’t have children yet, but it makes me think, what a scary world we live, you can’t even visit the Safeway on a Sunday morning, without someone opening fire randomly? Crazy. Scary. :-/

Sometimes in my tears I drown
But I never let it get me down
So when negativity surrounds
I know someday it will all turn around because

All my life I’ve been waiting for
I’ve been praying for
For the people to say
That we don’t want to fight no more
There’ll be no more wars
And our children will play.

One day.
One day.
One day.

I always love and appreciate your passion. It’s so obvious that deep in your bones there’s a fighter. You’ve taught me a lot about fighting. About maybe gettin’ a little freakin’ crazy if you have to…because it DOES matter. It takes a little freakin’ crazy to get things done.

xoxo One day. One day. One day.

I’m a frequent reader of your blog, but I don’t think I’ve ever commented. This post reminds me of something I read today in the aftermath of the Tuscon shooting. The gist of it is, while one man opened fire on a crowd of innocent people, several more people stepped up and acted selflessly, bravely, heroically – from the 20-year-old intern whose efforts may have saved Giffords’ life, to the woman who wrestled the magazine away from the shooter as he paused to reload.

The world is a scary place, and horrible, awful things happen every day, but in the midst of it, there are still decent, kind, honorable people.

http://www.doublex.com/blog/xxfactor/why-i%E2%80%99m-not-despondent-after-gabrielle-giffords-shooting

JUST read this ….& all comments. I have been consumed by this So SO sad incident. The tragedy of it…the death of all, especially of a 9 year old child. I have to get back to you on my thoughts Burb….and I will. GREAT blog, I wish others had your views….

xoxo, Mom

This post is perfection. Thank you. I am so tired of people thinking that casual references to guns and violence are OK, metaphorically, as toys, as games, whatever. Guns are there to KILL, plain and simple.

Nici,

I love to follow your blog, but rarely comment. I was moved to comment today because I was genuinely touched by your sentiment and thoughts in light of this new tragedy. I love the Ben Harper song as well (we are big Curious George fan’s around here and it was one of our favs from the soundtrack!).
When watching the details on the news the other night, I commented to my Dad that people these days just don’t appreciate the value of WORDS anymore. Words have weight. They can be weapons or healers. It seems as if they are treated as emergency flares anymore- thrown out there for the temporary attention they might receive and then fully expected to extinguish and disappear in a cloud of smoke…

I wholeheartedly agree with you that ALL of us, whether our audience is large or small, should speak with words that are filled with peace. Words that have genuine thought put behind them.

I pray that all of us- especially our leaders and politicians will take these events deeply to heart and will think with a new perspective when campaigning and working in the future.

Blessings to you and your family!
Brittany

So powerful. Thank you!

,,,this native tucsonan will continue to put her two hands together and pray, pray for peace,,,

With my own two hands I will hug my husband and son just a little tighter tonight and remember to let go of all the little things (being irked about the state of the house – see my post at Mamalode) and remember that in the big scheme if things that DOES NOT MATTER! What matters is that we love big and love deep every precious minute of every precious day! Thank you for this post.

Hi Nici,
With my two hands I hug you and your two lovely little ones.
We talked today about this blog and how you were feeling about the negative criticism regarding your comments on Sarah Palin’s “reload” and other such. Once commenter said you should have used someone else – okay, how about Michele Bachmann – “armed and dangerous” or Sharron Angle – “second amendment remedies”. Happy now?

That isn’t the point.

The point isn’t either that Mr. Loughlin decided to do this on his own. It is apparent from his frequent brushes with the law, his history with the military, the local schools, neighbors and so on that he is mentally ill. We don’t know what his illness is at this point – only that he is. And maybe this really is the point. It is never the stable people who do stuff like this – because stable people have filters and inhibitions that work correctly that prevent us from buying a gun and planning to go shoot people we don’t like for whatever reason. But mentally ill people don’t have those filters that tell them that the Sarah Palins of this world don’t really mean for you to literally get a gun and go shoot someone when they show you a map with a gunsight target on it. It’s only the mentally ill people who do.

So…when we talk about dialling back the rhetoric it’s not about the so-called sensible people, it’s about those at the margins. It doesn’t matter where those margins are (and by the way – Mr. Loughlin is a registered Independent who did not vote at all in the last election and in his writings there is no indication that he is either a racist, and anti-semite, an anti-immigration foe, or holds any position at all on abortion).

What should be important here is that persons who have the public megaphone should be thinking about those people on the margins. What might set them off? Be careful what you say – it might come back and bite you. Gabby Giffords commented on the “target map” that Palin put up about eleven months ago and what message that might send to “someone on the fringe of society” and she was dismissed by Chuck Todd. Wonder what he thinks now?

And even further – why are we not asking why Mr. Loughlin, who was obviously in serious need of mental health care, was out there wandering around, buying a gun, and not getting what he really needed? Help for what really ails him! Today in our society we “treat” the mentally ill only when they commit a crime – and then only by locking them up. Well, Mr. Loughlin is getting his now.

On that unhappy note – I hope the hugs and stuff will do until I see you and the girls again,

Love, Kathie

Giving you five hearts on Blotanical, perhaps we can send your message further. Diana

Bi polar cleaning. I love it! Now I have a name for the manic/angry cleaning sprees I go on. Thank you, Nici!

Phew… thank the lord, I am not the only one! Thanks for this… I now feel not so alone on the subject! Great read!

Oh, it is so nice to know other people have pet hair covered stray socks hanging out under their couch. I just moved our couch to sweep underneath and was shocked/horrified/mortified to see how much junk/hair/dirt/crayons/stray socks/miscellanea there was under there

This is too hilarious. My husband also usually knows how to stop me from freaking out although sometimes his attempts piss me off even more. And Margot saying she’ll be a naked noodle on your walk? Cracks me right up!

So did you ever find a matching pair of shoes and go on that walk or what?!

I too have often thought that we were all sweet babies, all with blue, green, hazel or brown eyes. All with soft beautiful skin, in many colors. A name is a name…one given to us by our parents…..we nursed, we all crawled, we all cried, we all, when learning from our parents, asked why?…..so what the hell happened along the way to make these once sweet babes do the things they do!? I wish I had an answer. I especially feel a heartfelt sadness for the parents of these people. I am sure all they now can do is ask why?

You said, “We need a shift in the violent, scary rhetoric being tossed around by politicians and media.” I reply with a “here, here!”. I was SO sick & tired of the negative, untrue & hurtful political ads in the last election. I am not sure who originally said, “If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it….”, this is so true, especially for those who have untold anger, low self esteem and whatever else inside of them.
So I say to the “wannabe” leaders, Sarah, Rush, Minnesota’s own, Tom Emmer & Michele Bachmann & countless others….LEAD! If you can’t, then step aside, crawl away and quit doing harm!. We are the UNITED States, let’s unite.

I am scared to death for my grandchildren. I WILL, with my own two hands, love, teach and show by example how the world should for them.

In the name of Margot & Ruby…..
xoxo, Mom/Gram

welcome to my life. I’m so thankful that you can embrace it, though. I think of the photo ops I missed when my kids were tiny because I didn’t also want to capture the mess in the background, and it makes me sad. however, it has gotten better. I’m more comfortable with disorder, and the disorder is less.

The vitriolic rhetoric and hateful spewing is so horrible. It is destructive, to individuals, to community, to society. Where is the caring, the human concern?

When teaching sociology for the last few years, more and more students seemed to have an attitude, especially in social problems classes, that the problems of others were brought upon themselves. No empathy or concern needed. Derision and blame would do just fine. When I discussed homelessness, and that the actual average homeless person is a 5 year old child, the response was eye-rolls, and under-the-table texting/facebooking of the crazy professor. Ugh. And the idea that it’s just too damn bad for those kids, but what difference does it make to ME!? Their parents shouldn’t have had kids! Easy! If they have crap schools, no home, not enough food… oh well. That’s the breaks. Has no bearing on my life, so I will completely CHOOSE to ignore it.

It is this chosen ignorance, and hatred toward those in difficulty, that sometimes leaves me feeling hopeless and alone, and so so scared for the world Connor will have. But, I was scared for the world my own kids would have. And it’s not great, but they are okay, the one more than the other for sure, but they are okay. With my own two hands I loved them, I fed them, I drew with them.

With my own two hands now, in round 2, I will love my boy, and hold more books than he can count while my voice tells him the stories. I will work toward being able to bring food forth from the earth, I might even attempt to heal my life-long rift with bees, and provide a home for some of our so-crucial co-inhabitors of the planet. With my own two hands, I will stop pointing at meaningless drivel on PowerPoints, and instead turn those hands to making beauty.

Thanks Nici. As always, thoughtful, authentic, and beautiful.

The vitriolic rhetoric and hateful spewing is so horrible. It is destructive, to individuals, to community, to society. Where is the caring, the human concern?

When teaching sociology for the last few years, more and more students seemed to have an attitude, especially in social problems classes, that the problems of others were brought upon themselves. No empathy or concern needed. Derision and blame would do just fine. When I discussed homelessness, and that the actual average homeless person is a 5 year old child, the response was eye-rolls, and under-the-table texting/facebooking of the crazy professor. Ugh. And the idea that it’s just too damn bad for those kids, but what difference does it make to ME!? Their parents shouldn’t have had kids! Easy! If they have crap schools, no home, not enough food… oh well. That’s the breaks. Has no bearing on my life, so I will completely CHOOSE to ignore it.

It is this chosen ignorance, and hatred toward those in difficulty, that sometimes leaves me feeling hopeless and alone, and so so scared for the world Connor will have. But, I was scared for the world my own kids would have. And it’s not great, but they are okay, the one more than the other for sure, but they are okay. With my own two hands I loved them, I fed them, I drew with them.

With my own two hands now, in round 2, I will love my boy, and hold more books than he can count while my voice tells him the stories. I will work toward being able to bring food forth from the earth, I might even attempt to heal my life-long rift with bees, and provide a home for some of our so-crucial co-inhabitors of the planet. With my own two hands, I will stop pointing at meaningless drivel on PowerPoints, and instead turn those hands to making beauty.

Thanks Nici. As always, thoughtful, authentic, and beautiful.

This shooting event has weighed heavy on my heart – not because of the political rhetoric or finger pointing – but because it’s another senseless act of violence. I was just commenting to Ben this morning that I’m upset that we can somehow lock away would-be terrorists without evidence or due process; but fail to recognize the individuals within our own society who pose a larger danger. I feel that businesses, institutions, and even the government do what they can to cover their a**es and get these twisted individuals out of the Army or out of schools; but fail to try to help the person. So they are still out there…time bombs ticking in a reactive time of the world.

It is amazing to think that yes, all of us were born with unlimited potential. I just feel for those who are altered by their circumstances. Altered by the hands that touched them or failed to touch them. And then to find out that a friend’s young teenage son is suspended for bullying – and from a family that’s as loving as loving can be – what’s to say that love is enough?

My hands will cup, will shape, will grow, will mend, will create, and will get dirty in hopes that my child has the best opportunities in her life. Let them be chapped and cut and exposed to the dangers for the hope of protecting and nurturing her soul and her potential.

-Jennifer from Annapolis

,,,i raise my glass to TRB Holt,,,

“LEAD! If you can’t, then step aside, crawl away and quit doing harm!. We are the UNITED States, let’s unite.”

On a totally unrelated note…
Where could I get labels like the one pictured in your header image?
Obviously not with your name on them…though that would be fun to sew to have on my son’s clothes, come to think of it.
Would you be willing to share your source?

Thank you for the Keith Olbermann link; I hope the whole country is taking his words to heart. Yes, being in a parent makes me feel both so vulnerable and optimistic for the state of the world. There is so much good. Thank your for sharing, as always…I always come away from this space with something to think about…and I appreciate it, and you!

Aren’t humans amazing? They kill wildlife – birds, deer, all kinds of cats, coyotes, beavers, groundhogs, mice and foxes by the million in order to protect their domestic animals and their feed.

Then they kill domestic animals by the billion and eat them. This in turn kills people by the million, because eating all those animals leads to degenerative – and fatal – health conditions like heart disease, stroke, kidney disease, and cancer.

So then humans spend billions of dollars torturing and killing millions more animals to look for cures for these diseases.

Elsewhere, millions of other human beings are being killed by hunger and malnutrition because food they could eat is being used to fatten domestic animals.

Meanwhile, few people recognize the absurdity of humans, who kill so easily and violently, and then call out for “Peace on Earth.”

~Revised Preface to Old MacDonald’s Factory Farm by C. David Coates~

_____________

Anyone can break this cycle of violence! Everyone has the power to choose compassion! Please visit these websites to align your core values with life affirming choices: http://veganvideo.org & http://tryveg.com

we were hand sewing today…very rewarding and peaceful!

via mamalode.com:

Please take solace in knowing this same scenario plays out weekly in our house in Kansas City. ( Complete with inconveniently timed nudity and static charged pet hair) I have always said I suffered from domestic ADD. About the time I am annoyed with the plants for needing to be watered that thought cracks me up and I snap out of it. Thanks for all your great posts

via mamalode.com:

This post brought me so much comfort today. Thanks!

via mamalode.com:

Wow. My weekend has been one long stretch of picking up the mess as my little Aoch (Agent of Chaos) undoes it behind me and a massive on-going allergic reaction (to what has yet to be determined) – resulting in that ugly-want-to-be-happy-but-can’t-quite-be place that you describe. Thank you for reminding me I’m not alone and that, eventually, it will be funny.

Nici, thank you for speaking your mind. It’s so important.

I have no wise words to add, but my smart, impassioned husband (who is a crazy advocate of the first amendment) likens the rhetoric to someone walking into a crowded theatre and yelling, “Fire!” Dangerous, irresponsible, reprehensible.

I love what you do with your corner of the internet! xoxo!

But it is OK for liberals to have an effigy of President Bush hanging? Uhm? Shooting or hanging someone, still violent. Do not excuse the person who did this and quit making it a politcal game. Be it Sarah Palin or a left wing nut job, which is what the shooter was, do not jump to place blame on a particular politcal side.

There are many more nut jobs just waiting to blow up, it could be you, me, or one of our children next to be the face of such a tragedy.

It is pathetic that you made this political and you DID by your passive aggressive tone. The shooter acted on his own, that has been made very clear. He is a nut plain and simple.

To quote some Jack Johnson lyrics:

But everybody thinks
That everybody knows
About everybody else
Now now nobody knows
Anything about themselves
Cause they’re all worried about everybody else yea

And that is the real problem in this world!

Anonymously calling someone pathetic is, well, um, you know. You believe so strongly in your values and opinions yet you hide behind an anonymous response. Way to stand up for what you believe. Whether I agree with Nici or not at least she put her name to her thoughts and opinions.

Hi all,

I feel compelled to say a few last things. Thanks for your thoughtful comments.

The shooter pulled the trigger. Crazy people are fueled by crazy things. I have no idea what drove him. I think we all agree it is senseless and unfair.

As a parent and US citizen, I do want to know what we can do differently to minimize this kind of act. I don’t feel passive about this at all. It isn’t about blame or political parties. It’s about my role in it as a human and person raising the next generation. What can I do with my own two hands? What can you do with your own two hands? What can people like in a place of international power and influence do with their own two hands?

I hope my daughters grow up to understand that the language they use and the things they do are important and powerful. No matter their political party, religion or passion, their actions have consequences. I hope they make choices that reflect and encourage compassion, responsibility and betterment.

“Nonviolence is not a garment to be put on and off at will. Its seat is in the heart, and it must be an inseparable part of our being.” -Gandhi

via mamalode.com:

This is my life too! And the part where I start to lose it. And KNOW that I’m losing it over some small thing (this weekend trying to find the parts for the nesting snow-men nearly did it).
I felt like I was reading something I experienced. I must share this with my husband. He ‘steps up’ at the needed time as well.
Great article Dig!

via mamalode.com:

Nici,
I am still trying to dig out a pile from having 3 kids. Now they can help, though!

Thanks for the morning humor! I know it didn’t seem funny at the time, but it will someday! Your post made me travel back in time years ago when I had to pee and had all but given up having a remotely clean house. I tripped over a toy, which started singing some damn electronic song….I cursed louder than the toy, woke up 2 screaming toddlers, and cursed again that I couldn’t afford a housekeeper!

You have your priorities right! Time together, humor, and memories last a lot longer than the mess!
Love,
Jen

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My mom always says that when my brother and sister and I were kids, she could either clean the house OR do the laundry in a week. She simply could not do both.

She also says, there are times when you make a pot of macaroni and cheese and keep them from putting their fingers in the light sockets, and that’s a good day.

You totally crack me up, Nici!

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love it, know it, and living it. Reading your perspective on the craziness of the “daily’s” helps keep me sane, all I can say is, thanks.

I stopped by to leave you a comment about something specific and can’t even remember what it was now…I got sidetracked reading the comments. I am kind of baffled that people took offense to this. Hmmmmm….
I guess this is the reason I rarely engage in “political” talk with people. I become discouraged too easily 🙁

Holy Crap. You’ve got people thinking, Girl. A good thing. I came by yesterday and typed/deleted, typed/deleted. But here I am again, so I will just type.

This event was tragic and senseless. It’s sad to me that it has become so prematurely politicized by the media and the general public. I get that you were not intending to strike out specifically at Sarah Palin.

I agree about putting an end to the violent rhetoric. I am not a Palin fan, and while I believe she is misguided in many ways, I do not believe for a minute that she was intentionally inciting violence. I equally disagreed with President Obama’s quote from a few years back, “If they bring a knife, we bring a gun.” Enough already! All of you!

In the end, this is a crazy world with a sliver at the margins who do awful things. He doesn’t need a scapegoat.

A NYT op-ed piece written a few days ago really resonated with how I’m feeling about it all:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/10/opinion/10douthat.html?_r=2&ref=rossdouthat

Nic, I love your passion and your heart. I am honored to call you a friend. I love your mind that can’t help but spend time on things that matter most. Thank you for being brave and posting from your heart.

Can relate so much to the housework! Just overwhelming at times and I do bring that on myself I think. Because it has to be done a “certain” way! :o) I think most of us are like that though. Only I can load the dishwasher as I can get a million things in there. My husband loves to vacuum though. We have a nice balance.

The shooting was very tragic and what I hope most for our country to gain from it is to be more vigilant when we cross paths with people who are unstable.

Where’s Wednesday’s nuggets?

Have a great weekend!

:o)

OK…

I am bummed if I further polarized this issue. It wasn’t my intention. I wrote from my heart, I was beginning a discussion. I relish in that which connects us and that is what I was going for here. I thought the President’s address tonight was inspiring and hopeful. I continue to learn from him.

Thanks for reading.

oy. such a crazy, crazy time. just the other day, jake and i were talking about presidential assassinations. i couldn’t agree with you more. the question, as you asked, is what can we do? i heard a piece on NPR the other day about state hospitals; about how in other countries, people can be locked up against their will more easily, with more regularity. the fact that this guy was kicked out of college for scaring people…well, should there be some legal recourse? but we want to live in a “Free” society. it’s so hard. the only answer i can come to is more gun control. people, especially mentally ill people, should not be able to buy automatic or semi-automatic weapons. if i had my way, of course, they couldn’t buy any guns. but seriously – why would someone need a gun like this, other than WAR and MILITIA… So, I think we need to work toward stronger public health programs (which means strengthening, not repealing, federal and state public health care assistance), and stronger anti-gun laws. If crazy people with guns kill people, we need to get help for the crazy people and make sure they don’t get guns. that’s my opinion! love you!

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I felt compelled to leave a response: I know exactly how you feel! I do the same.

As I sit here, my three dogs are all quietly chewing on their bones in the living room, while the “guts” from a dead moose stuffed animal lay strewn about the floor, the pillows are askew, my desk is PILED high with so much stuff, but I love it. As I sip my hot apple cider and clear a little space off for my coffee mug, I am content. =)

It’ll all get cleaned up…tomorrow, or whenever.

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We also have an ongoing battle with stuff…everywhere. But this morning, I was juggling crying baby, making her lunch, battling mounting frustration with all of the baby-cr*p scattered over every surface…when I heard the cat make that unmistakable “mruggggg” noise. Yup, really obese cat barfed, and barfed and barfed. And they never stand still to vomit; they run while they do it. Up the stairs (on every step) and into the nursery. So I put crying baby down and as I went to pick fat cat up to say “poor baby, are you sick?”, I heard a solid plopping noise right under her … she pooped, mid-air, managing to befoul the just-cleaned steps.

Suddenly crying baby and stuff everywhere was looking good. You just gotta laugh at some point ’cause some days it’s “laugh or cry”.

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This post made me compelled to respond!

As a now mom to older teens, this was my life for many years, right down to the pet hair patches on the knees!! Now that the kids are older, funny, my house is much cleaner and neater and I no longer feel like cleaning is the endless, fruitless effort that I did when the kids were little (which made me give it up even more for puzzles and playdough!). My kids had the gift of knowing that no matter what, a parent would be there for them and besides, the house was always clean enough (i.e. nothing evil growing anywhere…) I don’t regret a second of my constant messy house and I now have two young adults whose idea of a good time (one, anyway) is spending it with their parents.

Great post!!!

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My girl has two pairs of shoes I found myself doing this crazy search the other day. Only with a massive 8 month pregnant belly, oodles of Malamute hair, 9 trillion plastic food pieces and ice melt tracked in all over our tile. But my kitchen sink was empty so I held it together…barely

Love your Mama Digs this week… you could have been writing about our attempted walk two weeks ago! Right down to the naked child… must be something in the air.

Love this quote from Obama’s speech: “At a time when our discourse has become so sharply polarized–at a time when we are far too eager to lay the blame for all that ails the world at the feet of those who happen to think differently than we do–it’s important for us to pause for a moment and make sure that we are talking with each other in a way that heals, not a way that wounds.”
With my two hands I am raising two boys who know how to love & be loved.
xo
Kate

This is absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.

With my two hands, I will teach my daughter today and everyday that words matter and that she has a choice.

With my own two hands I will try my hardest to raise compassionate children. I too am scared to death of the world I brought my kids into feeling guilty. Then I have to remind myself I hope they will make it a better place. This tragedy is so close to heart not only do I live in AZ but I have a 9year old daughter who is in the student council at school. I didn’t discuss this in deatil with my kids nor do they watch the news. My 9 year olds teacher sought me out to tell me what she asked while they were discussing this in class, she couldn’t believe it and she said she didn’t have an answer. My daughter raised her hand and asked “Why do people in the world think they can solve conflict with violence?” I too wonder the same thing. (I am very proud of her but I also wonder where she came up with that question)

Courtney,

Your comments gave me chills. Your daughter’s question is amazing and right on.

Agreed.

I was once talking with a friend about whether it was a good idea to have children because the world can be such a terrible place and life can be cruel. Their thoughts were that it’s our chance to bring good people into the world. That resonated with me. As cheesy at it sounds, there is much to be learned from Bill S. Preston Esquire and Ted ‘Theodore’ Logan: We should all “be excellent to each other.”

Oh I hope when I said I become discouraged too easily you didn’t think I meant it in any way toward the things you said…I absolutely agree with your sentiments. I meant that I become so easily discouraged by the fighting I see in politics…everything feels more and more polarized lately and it bums me out. Feels like too many people are serving their personal agendas and not seeing the bigger picture of what is good for all.

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

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I can just see Andy clearing a path with two “kid weights” on his legs! I needed to read this after a CRAZY day….sure put a smile on my face!

I love a tidy house, but I love to do projects too, like sew, garden, read your blog & mamalode, love on my dogs, chat with friends, read, watch a movie…etc AND there is only so much time in the day….somethings gotta give and quite often it is my want-to-be tidy house…SO WHAT! So you have my permission, (not that you need it), to continue to be the creative & beautiful person/daughter/wife/mother that you are….you have your priorities in order, don’t change a thing!!!!!!

xoxo, me

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Andy is hilarious. “Let’s do it!” Yes. Let’s let the clutter go until we lose a child, dog or large home appliance in it.

Good on you for letting that put you back in a good mood rather than letting it send you into a rage.

I think I might have raged.

Though, my method for taming the “EW WHY IS THIS HOUSE SO GROSS” moments is to just stalk around the place with the Dustbuster running, sucking up all the grossness until Hey Look! It’s way less gross now! Let’s drink!

Sometimes though, we just drink until we can’t see the furricane anymore.

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Yes! Yes! I can get rid of the yellow ring in the toilet, the tufts of dog hair strewn about the floor, and move the kid toys back into their respective bins, but not all at the same time. Not if I want to sleep a few hours each night. When I have guests over I feel like saying, “Feel free to sit on that chair, use the downstairs bathroom and walk through the kitchen, but whatever you do, DO NOT open the fridge or look behind the sofa! You will not like what you see there…”

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This could not have come at a better time! My husband and I had our first mess induced meltdown this weekend – which included a wacko scene of me screaming (and I *never* scream – can’t remember the last time) don’t touch it, don’t touch it, DON”T TOUCH IT!!! – about the vacuum cleaner because I was going to vacuum damn it and do it my way damn you!! Ummm – ugly and bless his heart he tried to joke but I so wasn’t having it and the funky air lasted until this evening when – after an evening and morning and another evening of icy huffing we finally just made eye contact and melted into a giant hug in the kitchen. So reassuring to read these words and know that I’m not alone – not calling you crazy or anything just – thanks!

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