Often I find myself wanting to mental click command + z during the day. Or, when bold Margot is trying to pick up italic Ruby and I sense imminent disaster, I think how nice it would be to command + x Margot and paste her on the couch with a book. And then open Ruby with a new application.
These shortcuts that my fingers effortlessly maneuver when I am at my computer to assist with easy and quick editing. I imagine what life would be like if we could highlight the task at hand and drag it to an earlier point in the day and then automate the batch. Or, if we could collect ideas in a trash can and then remove the contents forever never to be considered again.
Whenever we get a healthy drop of snow I feel like the universe clicked refresh. The same January page loads but there’s new content and new composition.
blizzardy walk home from the grocery store
I feel refreshed. The weekend has passed and I no longer have a fear of drowning in snot. I have wonderfully sore yoga muscles and renewed creative synapses. I am thankful to be feeling this way as I need to get on finishing work for my upcoming exhibition. It will be my first show in many years and I feel the usual recipe of emotion surrounding post-kid reentry into a passion: nervous/excited, confident/insecure.
When I struggle and have doubts, I am fueled by my kids. I think about what kind of model I want to be. I want them to know there are no guarantees when one sows a seed but that one will never realize the satisfaction and nourishment of harvest without digging, tending, cultivating, problem-solving, failing and, mostly, just trying. I am trying. Read more in this week’s mama digs: making art, making home.