I am surviving after my baby started first grade last week. My kids are very far apart in age so I have been home with a little one for 22 years straight. I’m so excited for Jentry, and they get to that age when you know it’s just time-they need to be in school and she loves it! I am trying to get used to this new “normal” and I will. Change is hard, but to be honest, now that it’s week 2, I’m kinda diggin being home alone in my quiet house that stays clean:) I feel like I’ve so enjoyed the journey of having my babies home with me-I hope I can enjoy this next stage as well.

I think the first day of school, any school, any year, is beautiful and traumatic. As I watch my girl go to HIGH SCHOOL and my boy in his last year of elementary school tomorrow…

It’s a celebration.

My oldest started school for the first time last week – just like Margot he goes only two days a week. I am relishing the time with my youngest! I think what keeps me from feeling sad is that I am so happy for him. This is the first time he has something that is just his. He doesn’t have to share this experience with his Dad or me or his brother. It makes him feel so grown up. And the stories from school….so cool.
Jen from Denver

My only (so far) is 18 months old so no school for us this week but man oh man, did this post leave me in tears … just thinking about what that day will be like!

This post is beautiful and painful and lovely, all at the same time. 🙂

I know that feeling you’re having… my only started kindergarten this year. It was tough, cuz although he had preschool for the past two years, he is now in school five days a week, all day. Strange for me…he’s been my companion for six years and now he’s gone most of the day. It is certainly going to be a new kind of normal. He is loving school, though, so that makes me happy. They grow and get older even though we want to “preseve” them. I think you said in your last post “Too bad I can’t harvest her and preserve her”..that describes my feelings for my boy to the tee. Thanks for sharing!

You will remember that feeling. I homeschooled mine when they were littles but still…when they did go I remember…and you know when you will feel it again? Graduation day. It will zoom back to greet you. The crazy mix of pride and loss and knowing it will never be the same again…and that you gave them wings.

My Cecilia started Kindergarten on the 16th. I worked from home that day so as not to miss a second.

http://kansasdoyles.blogspot.com/2011/08/3-2-1-blast-off.html

I tried to make it a happy post because she was so unbelievably excited. But when I snapped that last picture of her sitting all grown up with her crayons, I was deeply sad…and proud. She was brave. Exactly what I had prayed for her every night for the past month. It’s like letting go of something I’ve crafted for 5 years. And now the world gets to have a bigger share of her. It will be better for it.

I loved this post, my daughter just started middle school yesterday. She was up so early the we sat around reading magazines for 45 minutes before we left. I was surprised when she wanted me to stand with her on the blacktop before the bell rang (no playground, just some swings in the corner). Some of those kids are bigger than me! *sigh* Good luck mama!

P.S. My youngest (I have 4 sons) leaves for college in two weeks. The pickup truck loaded with their most favorite things is soooo crazy. Multiply that lunchbox and backpack about 100 times. Blink three times and you are there. I’m preparing myself already so that I don’t fall apart in the driveway til he’s out of sight.

well it wasn’t my non-existent child’s first day of school, but yesterday was mine! it was great being back in front of the class. yesterday was the first time i taught two big, long classes in one day (local govt is 2 hours, and property is 1.5 hours). It’s so fun to teach the first year law students. they are so new and excited and open and ready to learn. I’m sad that summer is over, but it’s nice to get back to a routine.
s

All of these comments are making me cry! I am sitting in my living room, avoiding work, sipping coffee and crying.

xo

I am sitting here crying as I read this. My little 2.5 year old starts playschool next week. A mere 1.5 hours, two mornings a week but I find I am heartbroken and joyous all at once. She is so excited for her independence and I want her to have it, but it definitely marks the end of an era, the end of babiness and toddlerness. You put that all into words so well! and what a cute idea for the backpack!

Feeling the same here… this morning was my first morning with both kids in school…. the adjustment from half day to whole day has been quite the adjustment. I love the one on one with the little, but man 7 hours is a long time to be away.

I felt lost.

… and lonely.

Wow. Heavy, dude. Just heavy and big and exciting and WOW.

Be good to you. That’s good advice.

My oldest graduated high school last year, my 2nd oldest will this year. My 3 littles? I homeschool & love it. But I remember my oldest two on their first day of preschool like yesterday, and their first day of K as well. Like someone else said, the pride & loss thing, yeah I’m preparing to feel it again come next June. It all goes way too fast. Enjoy it all.

Oh Nici! What a beautiful post. I’m not a mamma as you know, but I just know in my heart that your life is going to bend so gracefully around this new routine. Pretty soon you’ll be looking forward to drop offs and pick ups and after school snacks and little M chattering away about school, and Ruby will love the one on one attention she gets during the day and how excited big sister is to see her and teach her everything she learned.

Maybe this post his me a little hard, because of “marmo gone.” I’ve lived with my sister in Seattle for the past nine years, and on Wednesday of next week she and her husband are moving to New York. And I’ll be staying here, repeating “Anna Gone” just to remind myself.

Oh, I need an after school snack to cheer me up…stat!

I’ve got a ways to go before my little one goes to school, but this post gets to the heart of motherhood with all the worry excitement love change and letting go that we journey though. I’m new here and so happy to have found your blog.

LOVE this post! It never seems to get any easier either. I had tears in my eyes as I dropped my 3rd grader off today. And I still go in and take pictures of her at her desk and with her new teacher even though I know it embarrasses her because I never want to forget ‘that’ moment. Only 45 more minutes until I get to go pick her up and hear all about her first day of 3rd grade!

Nici! sending hugs! I’m crying anticipating this day with my girl…

I was so worried about Kindergarten last year but our school really eases them in…just one hour with parents there the first day, two hours the second, working up to a full day. It really was a piece of cake. Then. First grade. Just walk to the school, wait for the bell then turn around and walk away. It was the hardest thing ever, much harder than first preschool, daycare, anything. I think it’s the signs of independence that are killing me. I cried all the way home.

This brought some 18 and a half year old memories flooding back….my eldest daughters first day at playgroup I got in the car with her little brother and from no where sprang tears and gut wrenching ‘homesickness’. Each new educational adventure made my stomach lurch, each one she took in her stride. For her brother and little sister the journey always seemed easier..we have been here before. Until this year when ‘little’ brother is the pioneer by going away to university (big sister stayed home and does uni each day). So Misty in some ways it gets easier, and whilst ever they are happy and thriving what we go through really isn’t that important! Little sisters and brothers struggle though….

I cried a little reading this post. So poignant, breaking your heart so she can fly. But how much better for Margot that she is excited for this next step, rather than afraid of it. You’ve done a great job of getting her there.

There’s a song by Nickle Creek that I love – danced with my daddy to it at my wedding – called “When You Come Back Down.” Listen to it, read the lyrics. I’m sure it’ll resonate with you.

This post made me cry because it was also my daughters first day of preschool. She was so excited to go and be a “big girl” – I went to work late so I could drop her off, but my husband had to pick her up so I didn’t really get to see how happy she looked about the day… But she seems excited to go back tomorrow. I hope Margot had a blast on her first day 🙂

Our first day isn’t until September 14th. My little guy went to preschool 2 days a week last year, but his baby sister was only a year old and I don’t think she missed him that much. There have been a few times this summer when he has gone to camp and she has just called out his name over and over while he is gone.
He will be thrilled to be back in school.
I am happy, but realizing that he will be in school 3 mornings a week…then next year it will be everyday.
And, baby girl will be in school 2 days a week.
They grow up way too fast…and we have to grow up with them.

Aww, that totally made me cry! My baby is starting preschool in a week, too. Cannot believe it.

I absolutely LOVE this picture of Margot. Enjoy your new-found time with Ruby! <3

OH my sweet~beautiful daughter/mother. I so remember your “firsts”, preschool, kindergarten, 1st grade, Jr. high, high school it got easier until I dropped you off at UGA; the tears flowed then just as they did on your 1st day of preschool. You have given her steady, strong wings just remember, like you, she will never be far from her mama’s nest…I love you.

ps….can’t wait to skype and hear all about the BIG DAY!

Before I started homeschooling two years ago, I sent my son off to kindergarten at a local charter school. It tore me to pieces. I cried for a month straight everytime I dropped him off (once I was back to the car). He cried everyday that year. EVERY SINGLE DAY during dropoff. It was heartbreaking. Eventually, I made the decision to homeschool and he actually enjoys “school” and learning now.

I’m so happy Margot is so happy going to school. Every child is different, and it sounds like preschool is really what Margot needs right now. I bet you will come to REALLY love the alone time with Ruby. Enjoy it!

each little snip of apron string hurts but it hurts good. good like “hey I have them, they are mine at the end of the day, they are healthy, they can walk, talk, make friends. it hurts so good.
hugs to you on this day.

Wiping tears away, doing the math: how much longer do I have? Margot is not yet four, that gives me one…yes, two more years. Only two?

Well I was completely excited for school to start. Probably because I have a hormonal teenager, who had become increasingly bored each day. As much as we love one another, it’s great to be apart too. For he love all of his school routine and all the people in it. Then he is always happy to return home 🙂

I’m nervous. My baby hasn’t yet started—her first ever day of preschool is next Tuesday. REading this reminded me of the sadness I KNOW I’m going to feel…this has been in the back of my mind since we registered last spring and now it’s here. but as you said, mixed with so much other emotion. Good things too. I have indeed thought about how it will affect her little sis Vivian on the days she is gone too. That aspect makes me sadder than my own feelings of missing her. Lily and Vivian are best friends. I’m going to make our alone time extra special.

First days this year were a breeze. When my daughter, now 8, started preschool it was her 1st time away from me. We had rehearsed it all and talked endlessly about what to expect from her 1st day. After all that worrying she walked in and loudly asked, “OK, What do I do first!!” I honestly was so proud of her the tears started and I had to shag outta there—thank goodness for sunglasses. I swear it seemed like I stayed in the pick up line until school was over just so I would be there on time! My son’s first day of pre-k last year was harder on me than him….then this year he never looked back. Margot is adorable. Love the necklace. xo

ah! this made me cry. this happened to me last week with my firstborn (3 year old son) last week. i had a lump in my throat that wouldn’t go away all day no matter how much coffee i drank, and my 1 year old seemed so confused all morning, wondering where his “bubba” went.

that is the most beautiful photograph of your Margot with her special backpack and the hen next to her. i love this post!

Beautiful and emotional post! Made me so sad ruby asking for her sister………
It will be good for all of you……
🙂 thanks for sharing!

Love your mother’s. Beautiful words!!

My 4 year old started pre-K today too. I was heartbroken that I couldn’t be there. But luckily my husband was able to take some photos with his phone and emailed them to me. I regretted missing out or not calling in late as soon as I saw the first photo. These moments — it only happens once. He’ll never have another first day of pre-k. Every year will be different. I want to experience it with him right then and there by his side for as long as he lets me. Secondly, the photos showed him in his own little desk. I was expecting a long table with colorful plastic chairs. But he had his own little desk and wooden chair. This is a very big deal. I’ve been smiling and sniffing… all day long! Thanks for sharing — I definitely needed this today.

Oh wow, the tears!

I work outside the home, so both kids (3 and almost 2)are in daycare and I remember their first days there so clearly. Some days it’s still hard to leave them.

Even though they are in “school” daily now, it will be different in another couple years when my oldest starts kindergarten. I panic just thinking about it.

Beautifully written post, Nici…fast & unedited is my favorite way to write too…it’s the most inspired.

I know this beautifully bittersweet feeling. You’ve captured it here perfectly with your words. We’re gearing up for the first day of first and ninth grades here in our house this week. Bracing for the annual lump in my throat!

Love the photo of Margot… so sweet & serious… can’t wait to hear about her first day.
Our Quinn started Kindergarten last week. That first day he did great… I was a teary mess… but he had a wonderful time & is loving the routine of school days. We are so very proud of him… he is the first kid with Down syndrome in our district to be in a regular kindy class in nearly 20 years.
It is a bittersweet process this letting go… little bits at a time… with the ultimate goal to send them off in the world on their own adventures.
Yikes! Back to today… and one moment at a time.
xo
Kate

Oh Why oh why do parents have to go through this… This is NOT normal. This is not natural. A family needs to be together, not separate. I wonder why there are not more homeschooling families. This is crazy to me. This is not because everybody does it that it is the way to go… Oh well! Enjoy that time alone with Ruby…

I’m on the verge of tears reading your post. I am an Early Childhood Special Education school teacher who said goodbye to my babies (20 months and 5 months)this week. They are in great hands with family watching them, but I miss them like crazy cakes. I have been with them everyday for the last five months. I am excited to teach other mommies’ and daddies’ babies though! It is so bittersweet! Us teachers will take care of your babies though; most of us do what we do with passion and care! We will help your babies bloom!

Oh man, this day will come for me too. This is why we have more than one, right? (: I bet she had wonderful stories of her first day that made you realize that you made a good decision for her to go to preschool.

Margot is so, so beautiful with her outlandish, remarkable spunk and depth.

Lovely post, thanks for sharing.

Aw, hang tight! She has plenty of new adventures on the horizon, as do you!

‘Be good to you’ made me cry. My ‘baby’ boy starts pre-school in 2 weeks too. Already I am tearing up at the thought, so proud, so sad, so happy. Looking forward to reading your adventures with just Ruby too, I never thought about this, that it will be just me and my Violet soon for some of the week.

Your post described perfectly how discombobulated I feel about the new school year starting (next week Tuesday for us). It really is a cosmic joke that we are wired to love them like crazy only to have to encourage them to slowly disengage from us, bit by bit. My two oldest babies are starting Kindergarten and Grade one on Tuesday so I will only have my little one at home, and I am feeling all of those mixed emotions. But I’m sure that the first day of preschool for my firstborn, which is now three years ago, was the hardest – well, pretty sure anyway, check in with me on Tuesday …

Avi’s return to school is way harder on Lilit, but I teared up a little after drop off today, too. And promptly treated us to a latte and a slice of pumpkin bread. Sweet Lilit kept making the sign for more long after we devoured it. Talked to Leeor on the phone (he did drop off on the official first day, yesterday, but today was my first drop off).

Also, in my next life, I totally want to be a preschool teacher in Berkeley, specifically at Avi’s school, Gan Shalom. Or maybe I want to be a student there (:

I love this post, but you probably know I am a fan of fast, unedited writing! xoxo!

Lovely post but oh it makes my heart ache as it reminds me my girl starts school in 6 months and I will miss her such a lot. I have already changed her preschool hours so she is home 2 full days with me in the week – I wish homeschooling was for us but I know it would be about me and that school is a better option for her – she is already talking about wanting to go to school. Growing up so quickly.

I remember going thru that first day. It was the hardest! I filled it up by removing old wallpaper off my kitchen walls. It made the time go a little faster! Now my oldest is starting 7th grade. It brings back all those memories again. Wishing you the best!

I just want to give Margot some props for rocking it on her first day of school!

Such an emotional week! Asa started Kindergarten, Axel started preschool. It made me want to have another baby, just to preserve some normalcy! Love to you and your sweet family. Margot is gonna rule that school!
xo

I’ve been sending Ivy to a MMO program for a while now. This is the 3rd year and I had some trouble because she’ll be going for half a day 5 whole days a week. I didn’t cry but I was worried that 5 days would be hard on her instead of two or three but she loves it and can’t wait to go every single morning. I hope she never loses that fire for learning.

I did cry however when she asked me if she could take ballet. I was a ballerina but never thought Ivy would be interested because she is a wee bit…LOUD…but she is so proud when she puts on that white leotard and slippers. It melts my heart.

I really like reading your posts when you write like this. Especially this one because my son is starting Kindergarten next week – this post helps me to prepare for the emotions to come.

Oh, fall is a sign of so much change for many lives on this blog. My heart feels for you. But as your mom said, you gave Margot strong wings. She will soar.

We just had our “meet and greet” day at preschool this morning. I think that I’m dreading kindergarten so much more than preschool. Maybe b/c preschool is nestled in the comfortable setting at our church or because Kindergarten is the start of the “formal” education. All I know is that dress-up dresses are allowed, so I’m less anxious.

Nice job on the backpack. And I just found the next project for Margot. Seriously I am making one for Alex. Killer. http://www.aestheticnest.com/2011/05/sewing-rainbow-wrap-skirt-tutorial.html

Here’s wishing you some wonderful moments with Rubes this week.

-Jennifer from Annapolis

This morning I watched from the car as my big 3rd grader guided his little brother into his kindergarten line outside the school. As big bro marched up the hill toward his own line, he peeked over the edge several times to make sure little bro was still okay. My heart nearly burst with the emotion of both of them growing up right before my eyes.

I don’t have kids (yet) but I’m the youngest and I loved it that I could spend time alone with my mama after my older sister went off to kindergarden.

Lots of adventures lie ahead for you and Ruby, and I can only imagine that Margot will love to hear all your stories and tell you her own. 🙂 have a lovely day

I have a love/hate relationship with the start of school each year, and I am full time in the work world & a full time mom. I am thrilled that all three are so happy this year! Makes Mom & Dad happy too! I also didn’t think of my little one when my middle child started kindergarten. The kindergartener was perfectly happy. The little one cried her eyes out and had to be pried from the school. I never dreamed that would happen – – She was born 10 days before our oldest started school, so she was very comfortable there. And now she is in 1st grade and it’s easier when they go back to school, but I still feel that twinge each and every year for all three of my babies…Hope the first week goes well for the whole family! We are thinking of you!

Oh, we went through this yesterday, too. My husband and I work full time, so our kids have been in daycare since they were babies (and, oh, did I cry for those first days and weeks when they were babies and I had to go back to work and leave their tiny selves at daycare), but yesterday our 3 year old started preschool at a real school that goes all the way to 8th grade. It was her first transition away from the teachers and friends she’s known since before she could crawl, and I was so sad and nervous and excited and teary. I tried to only show the “excited” part to her, and she had a great first day at her wonderful new school. Like you, I didn’t even think about how it would affect my baby (10 months) to be left behind at daycare without his big sister until after the fact–he is a happy guy and seems to be fine with it, and I enjoy our “alone time” in the car now, but I’m sure he is a bit confused by the whole thing.

Anyway, big days, big days. I, too, comfort myself with taking pictures and creating little special, celebratory moments to surround these transitions so that we can remember them with joy and maybe bury a bit of that pain at cutting the apron strings one more time.

can’t.stop.wiping.tears. amazing post. so heartfelt and emotional. our first day has been postponed due to a certain hurricane that wasn’t very nice to us…so i will be feeling all of these emotions first hand next tuesday. he’s been through preschool, this year is K and……..the bus. *sniff* i imagine it will be hard no matter what age they are. bittersweet. sounds like margot will enjoy the heck out of school. and i know ruby will enjoy the heck out of her time with momma.
xo
kris

PS. I love that photo of Margot! She is a badass!

Oh the start of the school year is so bittersweet. I always looked forward to it myself, yet the growing away is always a bit tough. I’ve always been one to be a much better parent/grandparent if I’m not with them all day, every day. I love to see their excitement and pride! They feel so big and important and confident! And, I’ve never dreaded the empty nest. It was another time that I looked forward to, and honestly am enjoying quite a lot!

This year, my big one is being thousand of miles away from our youngest son. He starts at University of Michigan on the 9th. He’s lived on his own for 2 years, but mere blocks from us. Now he’s far far away, he’s not a real communicator (translation: we haven’t actually talked to him in about 3 weeks), and I am seriously seeing him everywhere!!! Every tall skinny hipster kid in Buddy Holly glasses with a rockabilly hair buzz… double/triple take. Oh I miss that kid.

And the grandson in kindergarten… his happy little fist-pumping-whoo-HOOOOOOO self just couldn’t be more stoked! He’s on cloud 9! 5 days a week? for 5 hours a day? He’s absolutely in heaven. He’s far too social a boy to be truly happy hanging out at home. Like me, he appreciates it far more when he’s been away from it for a while.

Great post. I especially love the sparkly red shoes. These little moments are so precious, like little scars we carry around on our heart. Glad you got the photo though.

,,,for whatever ridiculous, goddamn reason, i’m teary reading this post,,,(smile),,,it’s moments like this that i secretly wish i would have chosen to have or adopt children,,,margot is beautiful, she is everything you describe,,,i need an after school snack, i’m going to DFB for a punkin’ ale!, but not before i dry these eyes,,,

I just dropped my girl off at mother’s day out. She wanted absolutely no assistance and she confidently walked into her room with her Elmo backpack slung over her shoulder. She only goes twice a week and I am already a hot mess of emotions. Heaven help me when she goes to kindergarten.

Stay strong mama. We can do this!

Can’t wait to hear all about Margot’s exiting preschool adventures!

Big hugs for Mama and Ruby!

We moved from the comfortable city of Minneapolis to a very…very small town in South Dakota. My enthusiasm has kept our girls going until this week, when they each had to go it alone in a new junior high and a new high school. Junior high is the center of the universe as the “new girl” complete with two marriage proposals. High school…hasn’t talked to anyone yet and today came home with strep throat. My heart is breaking for her.

This mommy is wishing she could do it for her first baby.

As I wrote a love note in Anna Cate’s lunch box for her first day of Kindergarten, I thought about and used my blog to record what I really wish I could have written to her if she understand my heart and mind (much like what you wanted to say for the picture). i’d be so honored if you read it:

http://www.thequeensofthekingfamily.blogspot.com

PS… We are trying to add some elective classes to our schedule this year and one class is about making eco-friendly apparel and I showed some students your store. They loved it!!! XO

I can’t even imagine what a emotional day this must be for you. But I loved your raw, real writing.

Dear commenters,

Thanks so much for sharing here. Your thoughts, support and own experiences are wonderfully received. I am continually amazed at just how much we have in common. I have thoroughly enjoyed your loving vibes. I hope you feel mine!

xo

Simply cannot wait to hear about Margot’s first day!

Jill B (Overland Park, KS)

Just doing some catching up.
Awww…what a special week of emotion and change!!!
I have titled Margot’s First Day pic, “Pensive Pre-Schooler with Chicken.” haha
You’re a good mom.

I have been meaning to respond for two days, and was not able to because both my older and I started school this week–he Kindergarten, and I back to teaching Writing part-time to high-school freshmen. Our son has been slow to mature socially, despite his amazing intelligence and perceptiveness otherwise, so for us the first day of Kindergarten was a celebration, and we had no room in our heart for sadness: because he has come so far, and because we can’t believe that he is perfectly fine with being dropped off in the driveway of his school (parents are discouraged from walking in, private school), and then going into a theater every morning where he is greeted by the principal and, according to both him and her, goes up on stage and sings with everyone else there every single day. It’s truly the sort of thing that I would never have believed even two years ago would be possible for him to do. So yes, we are a tad sad he has grown up so fast, but above and beyond all else, we are proud of him. I have no doubt Margot will love school and will thrive in that environment, and while it is hard untucking her from your wing (a lovely phrase, btw), you should rest confident that it is all entirely good for her.