hump day nuggets: little bits of the season in photos and words about the last week
Thursday, 2:23pm.
Ruby asleep and I figure I have 45 minutes to do something for myself and I want to write so I forgo hydration and food and I sit to write, forcibly shoving work stuff out of my brain.
There is a lot happening in my life at the moment and, while all stuff I am so appreciative of (amazingly spirited children, business growth, a relentlessly productive garden and other stuff. you know.) there are still days when I am just really tired.
When these wonderful things don’t energize me they exhaust me.
Ruby woke shortly after I sat to write. I fought it for about three minutes, tapping the keys, thinking, hoping she’d fall back to sleep but she was awake so I stopped, mid-thought, and walked down the hall to greet my cheerful babe. I was annoyed to have my minimal time cut short and felt badly about that. Then I opened the door and Ruby was there and I didn’t want to do anything but be with her. A few minutes later, it was time to get Margot from preschool, come home, pick up, make dinner, debrief with my assistant, shower and get ready for a date with my husband. All in 43 minutes.Â
Thursday, 10:36pm.
We are home, my household is asleep and the date was good, really good. Getting out the effing door is an award-winning feat sometimes. We got dressed up and went to my old place of work, the museum, to a fundraiser. It was wonderful, with friends and wine and toasting to all kinds of successes and realness.
And now I sit and wonder what it is I was so twitterpated about earlier? I was so…so. Talking about feathers floating. Who am I? Forrest Gump? I mean I get what I was going for but that all feels silly now. It wasn’t silly then though and that is what I love about writing in this space. The nowness of it. The immediacy of clicking open a window and pounding out thoughts when I feel anywhichway. Sometimes it is published and sometimes it is memorialized as a draft.
Right now the cool fall air pours through our living room windows like eager coffee. I am still in my dress and lipstick, warm from wine and ready for bed but ready to be here. I am thankful for both of those options. I wish I felt like scanning in the photos Andy and I took in the photo booth tonight because I am excited to share their hilarity. I remember being bananas this afternoon with too much in my brain and yet right now, now. Now.
Happy _____day out there. Wishing you the sweetest dreams.
*Nugget it up and share. If you’d like, link to your nuggets in the comments.*
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45 Comments
Hey Nici.
If it helps? I get it.
I do not have children yet. But I still get it.
Everything is a cycle, baby. Moon, tides, season, everything. Who are we to think we can be one thing, all the time?
Much love
Melina
I love, love all the beautiful sister pics. I have a girl way outnumbered by brothers. I’m sure there are cool things about that as well, but I have a sister just a bit younger and I’m always a bit sad that relationship is something my girl is missing out on.
And I get the all-this-importantness-at-once sort of feeling. Sort of where I’m at too:
http://cohesive-pieces.blogspot.com/2011/09/weather-cooling-down-schooltime.html
adding another you say??
Love seeing Rubes come into her own space. And do just that – own it. Isn’t that what we are all trying to do?
The juggle is exciting and creates that tension we need in order to succeed, to add that one more item in, to push our boundaries, and sometimes to get the daily part of our lives done. I struggle with and learning how to sometimes let a ball drop and not do it all; and find satisfaction in less.
Happy ___day.
-Jennifer from Annapolis
P.S. I spy the beautiful L&L Orange boots now on Ruby’s feet. Sweet!
Life feels insane at this stage, doesn’t it?!! I love nuggets! Thanks for sharing yours.
http://ifthesewallsspoke.blogspot.com
Wow. Must be the moon or something…I posted similar feelings just last night (while waiting for your nuggets ;)).
I have all of these same thoughts many times throughout the week. How to fit it all in? And most importantly, enjoy it at the same time. The only thing I can do is walk to the refrigerator and read the white slip of paper that resides there for moments like those (my husband usually walks over and reads it to me actually, as he watches me prepare to pull my hair out!): “Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day, I shall dig my nails into the earth or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taught, or raise my hands up to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.”
Sometimes it’s nice to read your blog, or others, and realize that I’m not alone in the “how do I do it all?” feeling. I kick myself every day for not doing more, not accomplishing more, and sometimes it’s okay to accept the fact that things are not going to get done, and that’s okay. I admire you for all you do! Thanks for your blog!
Another wonderful post.
My nuggets of the day:
1. Fall wreath up, and pinecones in a vase on my coffee table (Fall comes early for us Canadians sometimes.. hee hee)
2. Pumpkin spice scones in my pantry.
3. Leafy frolic with my very pregnant sister.
4. Sewing, sewing, crafting, crafting, cooking cooking.
5. Cat snuggles that become longer and more intense as the temperature drops.
<3
Nuggets: go for a run, fill pillow orders, feed and water chickens, laundry, grocery list, play with puppy, wait for 3 daughters to get off bus, piano lessons, oh and shower somewhere in there too! I wouldn’t have it any other way đ Happy weekend!
Shoot! Just saw this….only time for a quick a glance at the photos….off to the Big C Box…! xoxo
Good morning darling,
I love the raw, here-ness of this post.
Sometimes life seems so full, close to bursting, and then you get to step away for a moment, come back, and it’s just life, happening.
XOXOXO
Rachel
Love the nuggets this week, Nici. There’s a rawness here, an opening, and it’s full of magical light. xo
Ha! Just read the other posts and saw that I wasn’t the only one who chose to use “raw”. Love it!
I ditto Evelyn! ‘adding another…’ The exhaustion you sing about is the same song I sing…and we are adding a 5th to our 4 come April đ
Rachel, Yes! Just life happening. A collection of moments, not curated.
Katie, I like raw!
Jessica, I have heard that normal day piece before but it has been a long time. Thanks for sharing!
Boy, do I get this post. Every single bit of it. I love your writing.
Glad you had a great date night đ
Happy Friday!
XOXO,
Angie from Ohio
Oh how much I know what you mean. I live that every day, and with full time job and two kids at home, and a need to feed my creative outlets I sometimes feel like the best thing I could do is to learn how to live without sleep.
Much love to you.
Amazing to think that The Meaning of Life, The Secret, whatever you wish to call It, can be boiled down into one simple word: NOW. Nugget of all nuggets. xoxo
Motherhood inspires our creative nature to reach even further, no matter how exhausted we are. Thanks for the nuggets, here’s ours as we anticipate the arrival of our second daughter any day now:
http://deepnorthwest.blogspot.com/2011/09/this-moment.html
Well I must say I’m glad to hear you’re tired too. ha! I have a 2 and 4 year old…I am so there, the whole if I’m not energized by it all I’m exhausted. You always amaze me with how much you have going on!
What is that yummy meal on the table?
You’re amazing! you just completely summed up how I’ve been feeling for the last two years in this paragraph:
‘I talked with a friend last night about how wild it is that when one is at the age of having small children, it is also when money is tight and creative endeavors are high. It is when days are the fullest and the most work needs to be done. This precious time when our kids are young and with us all the time is also a precious time of digging into growing careers and adventure. It is like, how many life-changing, important balls can we juggle at one time? Aw, hell, let’s add another.’
Which, with your permission I plan on printing out and putting on my fridge, on my monitor and on my bathroom window. Never have I felt so validated by one simple paragraph. I know I sound super dramatic, but as a mother of two (2y and 4y), with a full time job, well 2 jobs really, the other being taking care of a household, grocery shopping, cooking… you know the drill- I just feel maxed out! (And we’re thinking about trying for #3! We’re nuts) But I wouldn’t change it for the world… yet sometimes, on those tired days, I just feel a bit inadequate and wonder if I’m the only one and why IS IT SO DAMN HARD RIGHT NOW?
The point is, thank you. You killed it- totally makes sense to me now.
Oh and p.s. Go you. We’re superwomen, all of us. (I can say that about myself right)?
-Michal
This was just such a… such a… such a nugget. A golden nugget of goodness for me today.
As a photographer mom turned single mom of two turned full time university student turned registered nurse turned stay at home home-schooling mom of four, I know all about juggling those damn balls. Somedays it’s joyful and beautiful, and somedays they just keep hitting me in the face.
Thanks for this post. It just did all kinds of good things for this mama. I dig it.
Oh how I dig you!
If I had known how many balls I’d be juggling in this life I would have gone to clown school instead of university. But whenever I get all bent about something that later seems silly, I take that deep breath & thank the powers that be for reminding me I am just one human, doing the best that I can.
xo
Kate
p.s. @Jessica – I too love that “normal day” quote & have it printed out at my desk. Such a great reminder!
You articulate my experience of the past few years beautifully when you say that things that are most exhausting about parenting/life/work are also the ones that energize us the most. Crossing the line from exhaustion to exhilaration sometimes takes a split second, and I am still learning how to maintain the mental balance that allows me to stay on the right side of the line.
My first hump day nuggets!
http://www.floating-upstream.com/2011/09/hump-day-nuggets-91411-first.html
nuggets my way. Happy Friday to you and yours =)
Finding my Momma Zen…
http://seelife3d.blogspot.com/
I’m sitting here smashing play dough in my son’s face. We’re giggling and having fun.
It’s always a pleasure reading what’s in your head.
I love your two sisters. They are purely wonderful.
Beautiful pictures, Nici. Love the first one of Ruby walking Alice. Too, too cute for words.
love the raw posts, girlfriend. good stuff.
…And sometimes, it is what it is. I love how you can always tell from your prose you accept so much of what comes your way and jump in with both feet when you sense a better moment around the corner.
And, could you be any more right on about this time in our lives deep in debt but heavy in joy, not a moment to spare with nearly every one a memory to savor if we stop to notice.
And, those twelve minute naps when we’re used to them asleep for an hour and a half. Somedays, yes, it’s hard to roll with it.
xoxo
Love this post. So true to life. Life is crazy, fun, busy… and so far for me it hasn’t slowed down but gotten more busy. So take the time to enjoy your little ones. My oldest just turned 13 and it really felt like yesterday that I held him in my arms for the first time. I look back at all I wanted to do and wish I would have. We did have fun, amazing times but we get so busy and forget. So keep writing about life because it is one thing you will never regret spending time on. I write journals for my children and we love to go back and read some of the entries.
“It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.” -The Bhagavad Gita
Living in the now is such a challenge(for me). It’s nice to have little reminders, to pull me back in, even though it may not be what I had planned for my time. I really like this post. Sums up mommyhood well.
Love this post! I can very much relate!
Please share the recipe for the yumminess ruby is about to enjoy! đ
I love the now-ness of blogging too…and that wonderfully energized feeling that comes along with it. I’ve just picked it up again after my first attempt was thwarted for about a year by a infuriatingly slow, old computer. Thanks to my new trusty I pad, I’m rolling again. Here are some New England nuggets. Happy weekend!
http://dagrumpymudder.blogspot.com/2011/09/joy-in-ordinary.html
Jenny V
Hi,
I have stumbled across your blog and have stayed and read for a while. Your writing is lovely and I will be sure to stop by again.
Bernice
I’m glad I’m not the only one who writes something *so* in the moment and then goes back hours or days later and thinks, WTH was that about?
Thank you for sharing that you’re exhausted…because I’m exhausted & reading about it makes me feel ok about it.
I did a long-winded “nuggets” of sorts today:
http://www.mylifewelllived.com
The food Ruby and I are eating is a simple coconut rice with shredded carrot. I added lemongrass and sweet chili sauce to mine.
To make coconut rice we simply make rice with coconut milk instead of water. It can be part coconut milk, part water too.
Oh and to those who identify with snippets of what I wrote here, yes! I’d be honored to have my words printed out and thought about regularly! Thanks for asking and go for it. We’re all in it together! xo
I love this post. I get it- I feel the same. I also very much like the way your big dog hangs out with your girls. đ
One day I’m going to have to do Nuggets, too, because even though it’s just Bubba, the creatures and I, there is still too much going on for me to sit and carefully formulate posts as often as I’d like.
I should probably open a window, bang out some ideas and come back to it later with more.
And, frankly, the feather thing really struck me. It’s a perfect analogy. I feel ya, sister. Good living out there.
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