Ruby still naps every day, Margot doesn’t. Sometimes I get caught up in what I need to accomplish! during that precious time, asking Margot to tag along with me in the sewing studio, follow me into the chicken coop or garden or kitchen. Work, chores and dinner need to happen, no doubt. But, my urgency isn’t always appropriate or necessary. Recently I read this post by my friend Rachel and I so identified with her words. She held a friend’s new baby:
I got to hold him and squeeze his thighs and kiss his forehead and be reminded of what a blessing babies are. It had been so long since either of my peeps were such tiny, squishy things, I felt like I was holding some rare and mystical creature. And then I started to worry, did I hold my babies enough? Did I cherish their babyhood enough? Was I trying to get too many things done while they were busy growing into 7-year olds?
I always feel immense relief and contentment on the days I let go and settle into just hanging out with my first born for several hours of dense, easy joy. I study her movement, follow her thought. I squint her into a furry blob and she looks like she’s 10 months old in our backyard, stuffing her mouth with grass. I can hear her shrill song as she sees Alice tumble across the yard. And then my eyes snap open, her silhouette crisps into the smart, witty kid she has grown into. “Hey mom? If two plus two is four then four plus two must be six. I just really want you to sew me a long, twirly, shiney dress sometime soon.”
On this day, we grabbed my purple plastic basket of nail polish and sparkley face stuff (the same one I’ve had since high school) and made our way to the fort where we gabbed and laughed.
Margot: Mama, why don’t you like nail polish?
Me: Well I just feel more myself without painted toes. I’ve never liked it. That’s all.
Margot: Oh. I love it. Can I paint your face?
Me: Sure.
Margot: I will make you beautiful. I think you are already beautiful.
Me: I feel the same way about you.
Margot: MOM. Stop smiling! I am trying to draw a lamb family on your forehead.
23 Comments
i never tire of margot’s quips. love it.
Love this!
and there are other mamas (myself included) who read YOUR words and think “I wish I did more with my kids”. Your ability to just BE with your girls is really inspiring.
Love love love
,,,i echo “mary thomas’ comment, “love, love, love” nici, you’re a wonderful mother to margot and ruby!,,,
i love this post! and thanks so much for linking to rachel’s blog (long ago); i am a big fan!
the last two photos of you two are so sweet. xo
That is so sweet. I feel this keenly. I have a lot of kids, a husband who works all hours, and no other help. There is always so much to do. I admire how you juggle. I wish I was more organised. I feel I am failing my kids as I throw them scraps of me. I’m going to have to work on the appropriate and necessary. Thank you. I do have a date with my daughter tomorrow (where did those 12 years go?) uniform shopping followed by a cafe and a croissant. X
I really relate to the feeling of always having to use the time well and get stuff done! Recently I was reminded that all our kids really want is for us to join them in their world for a while. I love Margot’s comment about the lamb family. You are a family of lambs in my heart! 🙂
Lovely post, reminded me of precious time spent with my 3rd child Pip or Pippy Squeak as we called her. The older 2 were at school and I used to hold her close to my heart, we would lie down in a bedroom bathed with sunlight and while she slept i would just gaze at her , taking in all her sweetness,gently massage her tiny legs and hands – just loving all this time with my baby who is 30 this year !The other 2 were born close together and I feel sad that I seemed always busy – we did read lots together tho which we all loved.
I love this post! How beautiful you both are!!
I am so grateful I found your blog some time ago. Love your words and the feelings, thoughts, moments they bring. Thanks for all the inspiration.
Burb, You know just last week I held a 4 day old baby, Lilly, in my arms. She is the first born of a young co-worker….although not particularly close to this co-worker my eyes flooded and tears ran down my cheeks, all I could say is “I so remember”,as I held Lilly and breathed her sweetness I did remember those 34 and 32 years ago when you and your brother were born. Motherhood is a universal bond of love…xoxo
Time moves fast. I just try to be in the moments, and not think about how it’s flying by, because when I think that overnight my loves have grown years, well… it’s a kick in the gut. I’m excited to watch them grow, but damn, it goes fast.
swOOOOOOOOOOOOOOn <3
She’s right, you *are* beautiful.
You are going to be so glad you documented this moment in time. Thanks for sharing and nice lamb family, Margot!
You girls are gorgeous.
And on that note, I’m off to bed early because it just seems like the right way to close the day.
Love.
I want to always keep reading! 2nd time on this one. thanks for writing.
Oh I love this! I really need some one-on-one time with my oldest girl. She is growing up so fast!
Love it!
So happy to see you with a painted face – coolest mom.
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