I write down things my kids say every day. Sometimes I add them to my words here or elsewhere and sometimes they stay on wrinkle-softened scraps of paper in my coat pocket until they churn in the wash or blow through a parking lot while I fetch my keys.
I found one, a sentence I’d added to my ‘notes’ in my phone sometime a few weeks ago at a stoplight in downtown Missoula, when Margot cut through the monotonous din of NPR news.
“When I die will my heart still beat?”
“Nope. Your heart won’t beat,” I replied. “When you die every part of your body stops working.”
“What happens after that?”
“I don’t know. What do you think happens?”
“Nothing. Or we go way down in the earth, buried. Or way far away. Or something.”
Or something.
I sent off my last crate of packages today. Oh man, the proud relief I feel! It was like acing my final college exam before the expansive sea of summer vacation. Over the next few days we will prepare our home to receive loved ones, throw a solstice sledding birthday party (Margot turned 5 (!!!) yesterday) and get our own gifts finished and mailed.
Last week I was wishing I had another few days this month so I could melt into the gift-making and giving process that I don’t want to hurry (or, more importantly, hurry my kids through). But now I see I have time. I have today anyway. There’s no hurry, no urgency if I choose it to be so. And so, I made that choice.
This means some things I wanted to do aren’t happening. And this means I am only valuing what is happening. Because, for real, the way we live today is all that matters. Every day.
We made gingerbread cookie dough weeks ago. Despite our efforts to make hoards of cookies in one day, the actual cookie-making has been happening in fits and spurts ever since the initial dough-making. We slice off a piece of that refrigerated wad and cut out armies of bats, moose and men. Or, as Ruby so accurately questioned, why them always men? Be still my feminist heart. Oh girl, good question. Let us make a force of gingerbread women and give them equal pay and maternity leave.
Our friend’s grandma’s recipe:
We then, our threesome, have been delivering cookie cheer as we can.
Ruby: You know what Margot? Bears are wild.
Margot: Yes, Ruby. And they are hibernating right now.
Ruby: Us not like bears right?
Margot: Well I sure do. As long as they don’t eat me.
Ruby: When us go out into the woods, mommy always bring a backpack. In case us hike up the hill and see a bear, us go on mama’s back. We be ok.
^^^^Yes!!! We have a new cat in our home. We are fostering this awesome yellow dude, with the intent to adopt. And, we will happily accept name ideas. He’s totally in.
Margot: Mom, you know what’s awesome about grandmas? They let you have whatever you want.
This photo taken over a late-night Go Fish game. In this week’s mamalode column I wrote about Go Fish. I see the big, grown things coming but, right now, these marathon card rounds are my milestone. Click to read mama digs: Go Fish.
Ruby: Mom, I have a great idea.
Me: What’s that?
Ruby: I like you.
Looking forward to these last few weeks of 2012. Looking forward to 2013. I think we’re headed good places. We start from home.
ps LOCALS! Tomorrow: Come on down to Walking Stick for an evening of shopping (deals from me (dig) and Erika (Walking Stick)!), radness (libations and nice people!) and cheer (live music!). I’ll be there and would love to see you. 7pm. xo
451 Comments
yes……..definitely heading good places, it sure feels that way 🙂 “When it gets dark enough, you can see the stars”- Charles A. Beard
I really like that quote. Also been thinking about this one:
“A ship in a harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.”
– John A. Shedd
I love you!
Ruby, the next Gloria Steinim!!:)
package in the mail today! (hopefully) tomorrow for sure!!!!!
The cookies look fabulous, and congrats on shipping off those last orders. It feels liberating doesn’t it?!
I too, write down my daughter’s wise words and funny statements daily. I need to keep better record of them though….as most are being lost in my piles of paper and random files on my laptop.
The photos in this post are stunning. I’ve scrolled up and down a heap of times…to keep re-looking at the photos. It is so stinkin’ hot here at the moment in Aus, so to see your winter wonderland is refreshing and fun!
x
Excellent question. Why ARE those little suckers always men?
Merry Christmas, Nici.
-Angie
Congratulations on the new family member, too!
I just love your littles and the sweet words of their reality!
Oh, be still, my beating heart. That little Ruby finger on the yarn. And GOOD POINT on the gingerbread, too.
Love Margot’s inverted letters, as she signs her beautiful name. Thanks for another year of your powerful, thoughtful & compassionate writing + images. You’ve had quite a year and it’s always a treat to read what’s going on in your life. Sending you good thoughts & wishing your family peace and joy this season from Valley Ford, CA.
We are currently experiencing Blizzard Brianna here in Wisconsin and I am nestled tightly between my 3 year old and 1 1/2 year old watching old school Frosty the Snowman and catching up on the few blogs I read religiously for feel good mama inspriration! In a few minutes I will close my laptop for the day while we set out to make blanket forts, sip cocoa by the fire, and when daddy is done with work we will bake cookies for Santa and make treats for the reindeer!
“I have time. I have today anyway. There’s no hurry, no urgency if I choose it to be so. And so, I made that choice.” Thank you Nici!
P.S. Cat names-Ginger or Molasses …possibly something to tie in the season in which you got him and your love of food! I’m sure your family will find a “just right” name for him!
Happy birthday to one sweet (big) little 5 year old princess/warrior/peace-maker.
” Oh girl, good question. Let us make a force of gingerbread women and give them equal pay and maternity leave.” Best EVEr.
Also, I would never stand a chance in Montana. Just the thought of the backpack has my heart racing.
Montana would love you lady. And I think we’d win you over. 🙂
So glad you liberated those awesome gingerbread women. Now that they have equal pay we can say that even the gingerbread societies have surpassed us lol! Those girls are so smart and inquisitive I love hearing their little minds work. Can’t wait until my two are discussing the ways of the world. Nici, I have a great idea.
I like you!
Have a very Merry little Christmas
A quick response regarding Kitty names, will be back to comment on this beautiful post, xo
Orangie, Mr Orange, Tigger, Gus, Jazz, Garfield, Barnaby, Benny, Oliver, (Olive namesake), Scamp, Quincy, Simba, Pumpkin, Mango, Whiskers, Leo, (as in Leo the Lion ), Milo, Rufus, Buttercup…..
OR go international!
French for orange: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QukgozArR7k
Mango is cute! I like Mango.
We’re kind of down to 2 names…but we’re just not sure: Wally and Walter.
Funny, we had a cat when I was little called Wally Walter. Sweetest black and white boy with a little moustache! Our ginger boy is called Dougal. He’s such a love.
OMG! I went to high school with a boy named Wally Walters. True story.
wow that’s something! 🙂
I adore sweet Ruby’s comments and how she says, “us” instead of “we”. I also loved that darling finger on the bow. Margot is like listening to an adult and so smart and funny; both girls are darling. YOU are very funny…loved the maternity leave thing. I vote for ‘Saffron’
for the yellow boy. First time commenter, long time reader from so. California…and older than dirt!!!
Be still my heart – that conversation about the bears.
I thought I was the only Montana girl worried about the bears. And the moose. And the mountain lions. And the antelope. And the eagles.
Oh! Ms. Holt put out Mango for the orange cat before I could. Well, mother’s prerogative! I will likely be adopting a cat next summer, and I’m going literary: Foljambe for a female, Cadfael for a guy. ( Hint: E. F. Benson’s Lucia series for the first, and a medieval mystery series for the second name.) Have a simply magical season!
Holy buckets, I love everything about this post. Your girls are so precious, dear Nici. Wishing the happiest of holidays to you and yours.
Oh mango is a cute cat name for an orange cat. We have a part time cat – Baxter , he is actually the neighbours but he likes to hang out at our place too. So enjoy your kids conversations, and the fact that you remember to write them down. Merry Xmas to you all.
Finding it hard to comprehend that you don’t get maternity leave/ maternity pay. Why not?
Do you mean why doesn’t our government support it? There is a US law that keeps your job open for 3 months but employers aren’t required to pay and it is only applicable to larger companies. Yes, we need some reform here! I was lucky to have leave (without pay) even though the organization I worked for was small. Thankfully there are a lot of awesome businesses out there that do what they can!
hahahaha, ya Ruby, what the shit is up with them always being men?!?! Oh man, I almost peed from laughing.
Your kids kill me!
I clutched my heart when I saw that tiny finger holding down the string…classic! And Ruby’s comment made me think of one of my sweet boy’s when he was 2 1/2…”You my bestest buddy, Mom.” (Insert, tear in eye)
And since it’s December, how about Jingle for your new kitty? I’m sure whatever you all choose will be perfect 🙂
One last thing: how do I leave a comment now without having to type my name and email every time? My profile picture also disappeared. I’m thinking it’s because you have a new site and I need to “follow” you again?
Blessings
You know I just type my comment and click ‘post comment’ and it remembers my information (even though the spaces are blank). Try that! 🙂
Hey, I met you in SF when you were there. I’m the then-pregnant vet who was moving to new York? I don’t know what yellow dude will tell you about his name but he reminds me of a patient I once had named Gordon Whitefoot. swear. Coolest name ever if you ask me.
Gordon Whitefoot! I love this comment so. Hope you are settling into new move and new baby! xo
,,,merry merry and “yes” more gingerbread women, who receive equal pay, fair maternity leave and never get questioned why she has let her hair grow out and go grey. happy birthday, smart, wise- as-an-owl, margot bea! wish i could come to your party. love the snow and the kitty-cats all snug in their beds. cheers to a beautiful christmas with family and friends and an abundance of fa-la-la’s,,,
Love the card post. Our game is “fan tan” and everyone can play!
A lovely new cat! I have an orange male who was a howler as a kitten so we named him Omar, for the band Omar and the Howlers. I didn’t use “Syracuse” which is lovely for an orange male cat because whenever I think of an “orange man” I think of Syracuse University’s teams. Here we go with the “man” thing again….
Lovely post, Nici. We just today broke out the cookie cutters! Love the picture of the tiny finger + yarn – so sweet. For cat names, I advise short-and-sweet…we ended up with Sylvia Ida Finch for ours- sweet but not short! Wishing your family a fabulous Christmas – oh, and ‘very efficiently written information’ 🙂
-Ellie
Oh, this spam is making me bonkers! Efficiently written, yes.
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alright. you know i love the kiddo, the solstice, the christmas, the lumiares, the everything, so i’m going to move on to the cat pee. our cat peed on all beds during christmas cause she was stressed. she peed on my new patagonia jacket. in the hood. “why does it smell like cat pee all around my face??” I cried in the car. my mom washed her bed about 16 times. she peed EVERYWHERE. really i can’t emphasize that enough. it was because anna’s dog Juno was in the house and she was super stressed and felt like she couldn’t go downstairs to her litter box without being harrassed by the canine threesome.
could be she’s just stressed in the new environment and it will help her to be around just the four of you. um, or the five of us for a night or two in early january. but if it’s chronic? hmm….that’s tough.
good luck!
xoxo
I do think that’s what it is, Melina. He is SO mellow, loving and social that it’s hard for me to think he’s stressed but I have to remember that cat’s show stress differently than humans. Like, say, by peeing on beds.
So I talked for a long time with an animal behaviorist from the Human Society and we are starting over with the seclusion period to get him reintroduced to our home. This is in our guest room (mattress tipped up on its side!) so we’ll try to get him in synch with our home by the time you arrive! 😉
xo
I’m way late to this post, but I loved it soSO much.
We’re headed in good directions, too – I can just feel it. Let us go toward the things we love and then we’ll never be lost.
Happy 2013 🙂
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