Monthly Archives: February 2013

I galloped up the hill like the cedar waxwings bounce between aspen branches. Effortless, fun and fast, relishing the pure joy of just being able to do so. I had received a text from a friend a few hours prior. Want to go for a run??? it read. And then she walked with my kids to the park so I could. Andy has been out of town and I was really looking forward to this time with my girls. Our ship set out on a hopeful mission of exploration and instead landed in a dizzying storm. For two days we took on water, leaned hopelessly starboard, unable to discern stars. I tried so hard to turn us around. Again and again I failed at navigating our angry sea. I surrendered to the squall. I fell asleep. And when I woke the next morning, Continue reading →

So, Peanut died on Wednesday. We took her to the vet that morning where she extracted the fluid from her belly. The fluid was clear which means it wasn't an infection. Most likely, a tumor. We talked about options and decided to bring her home with anti-inflammatories. Andy left this morning for his dude ski holiday in Utah. The girls and I have had offers to join friends for meals and such but it feels right to just hunker here with quiet activities broken up by outdoor romps. I could tell Peanut felt relief with the fluid extracted but she wasn't interested in eating or drinking. I carried her home in a towel and made her a little bed in our heated garage. Continue reading →

Today. I was motivated and hopeful. I supremely needed to get some work done. The morning was off to a smooth start of maple oats and sunrise cuddles. But then Margot and I got into an argument about what she was to wear to school. Margot called me bossy and unkind. I found myself lecturing about the hem length and logistics of carrying anything when also needing to carry her two-feet-too-long dress. She was tearful when she demonstrated how princesses carry their skirts; explained how Lucy, Grace, Beata and Lauris would love her new gown. I realized my stubborn mistake. I truly was bossy and unkind. I apologized, we hugged, she wore the dress. Margot happily waltzed into her preschool, carrying that iridescent blue fabric, Ruby and I returned home. Ten minutes later, the phone rang. It was Margot's school. Her eye is kind of red...four confirmed cases of pink eye...can you come get her? For me, it's an agitated adjustment on these days. The days when my plan to work is taken like a tidal wave extinguishing a tea light. On the one hand, there's no negotiating: the tidal waves wins. On the other hand, whah! Something like that. Continue reading →

My cousin who is like my sister married a few years back or a decade ago which is starting to feel like the same thing. I mean, wasn't 1996 a coupla years ago? What?! I've been out of high school for nearly 20 years? You don't say. Love, love, love. Love, love, love. Love, love, love. Her wedding was small and sincere. We ended with her friend on the piano and sheets of lyrics passed around. We all embraced and sang like The Beatles. There's nothing you can do that can't be done. Nothing you can sing that can't be sung. Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game. It's easy. It was awesome, an army of off-key confidence sounding out. Happy Valentine's Day! I like this breezy, warm-hued holiday. Hearts, cookies, hugs. Why not. Continue reading →

Last Christmas Eve, after a helluva busy few weeks, I was so looking forward to staying in slippers all day. My mother-in-law was here, my parents in the air on their way. It was snowing, the tree lit. Andy began readying like he was going somewhere, which I didn't approve of, unless we were out of half and half or gin. He said he had some shopping to do. I immediately knew it was for me so I assured him I would happily trade a gift for his presence on that day. He was driven, I was frustrated. He said he'd only be an hour, his mom joined him. On Christmas morning, we took turns opening gifts, taking pause Continue reading →