I felt blah yesterday morning. A little blue, a little overwhelmed. The girls went to gymnastics for the day and I felt this urgency to get stuff done, to make that rare day all to myself count. It didn’t go down the way I’d imagined. I felt unfocused, unproductive and frustrated.
So I hopped on facebook. Or, as my friend calls it, timesuck. The first item in my feed made me click and I was so glad I did. It was an essay by Glennon Melton from Momastery. I closed my laptop and snuggled with my cat. I went for a run.
On my run I thought about:
1. I have so few days without my kids and when they happen I feel some guilt and I feel tremendous pressure to earn income, weed the garden, get exercise and end the day renewed, bright and showered.
2. That pressure is annoying.
3. I love running so much.
I picked my daughters up from gymnastics and we had a hot date with Costco. I felt good. Great, clear. I had stomped my funk into the ground on my run. I was really happy to see Margot and Ruby.
Our Costco visit was spectacular. Seriously. Every person we encountered was joyful and kind. Short of heel clicks and synchronized song, it was like we were in Brigadoon. There was the lady standing next to the tank top table who shyly, sweetly asked me to try on clothes over my clothes so she could decide on her size. There was the man who made jokes with my kids about peanut butter pretzels and soy milk. There was the woman who ushered her six small children up and down aisles with grace. There was the dried cherry sample dude who winked at me. The checkout guy asked me how my day was and he meant it. He then gave me a high five.
I remember reading a bit years ago about office dynamics. The author suggested open spaces and lots of collaboration because people operate like the molecular collision theory. When molecules collide, there is a reaction. Things bond, things bust apart. Energy is created. New form, new potential. All the time, just from one little thing bouncing off another little thing. It isn’t specific to offices; this happens at your mailbox, on a run, around your dinner table, on your facebook page and at Costco. What awesome opportunity. Who will we collide with today? What energy will we create?
xo,
dig
21 Comments
BUMP!
I love this, Nici! You’ve captured something in this piece about the way I want to be in the world. Thanks for passing the energy along!
I love that you ran into people with such awesome energy around town!!! I’m going to create some awesome energy! High five!
Nici, I live in Ontario and went to Banff, Alberta for the first time this past May with my gf. I rarely leave my kids and husband and it was hard to say goodbye. My trip was life-changing. Those mountains are powerful shit. My gf and I came back new people. Cured of any negativity, God touched us while we sat at one of our favourite spots in Banff the morning we left. We came back new people, like cured from a disease with a new lease on life. The bullshit things in life don’t matter anymore. I appreciate so much more. Reading your blog, seeing your pics and the love for your kids and animals and friends and husband and running etc etc etc….is also powerful shit. I feed off you also and I understand the mountain thing. Bigtime.
You’re so right, that pressure is annoying. Somedays I pack it in and sit on the couch and watch really bad tv and get absolutely nothing accomplished, but that never feels as good as a super productive “check the boxes” sort of day.
I wanna run with you. The elevation might totally do me in, but we’d have a blast.
xoxo
hmmm, your post, here, is what i’m reading before i set out to bounce about and make some happiness collisions happen! cheers to ya!!!
xo
I needed this Burb! I have the day off and HAD all sorts of highfalutin accomplishments planned. Instead I have taken the day for just ME….I WAS feeling guilty until I read this. MY awesome opportunity…was to do only for me…. I collided with my two BFF dogs only and the energy created is quietness, relaxation & rejuvenation….xoxo
ps…Gotta love that Costco…the “pizza” store 😉 !!
This is why I love you so. Your unwavering belief in positive, boundless energy, colliding.
We adopted a little boy 8 months ago and I’ve been off work since (one more to go!). It was a hard adjustment all around but one of the hardest things was missing interacting with (adult) people.
I’ve been missing molecular collision !
Here’s to hoping we collide one day. xo
Such a positive, uplifting way to start my day. I, too, feel that pressure just about every freaking day and sometimes it drives me crazy. How can I take care of my kids and myself and grow my business and feed my passions? Thank you, Nici! You are lovely.
I’ve totally been on the funk train, too, lately. I’m on, I’m off, I’m on, I’m off.
My goal is to end the day off the dang train and feeling good. Positive. Like I’m heading in the right direction and not effing everything up.
Most times I do and most times it’s because I went for a run.
Magic, that running. Big loves!
Dear Nici,
Well said, sister. I’ve actually been trying to articulate “that” feeling….that rare, precious day when you have time to yourself and yet you can’t really enjoy it because you have so many things you want to accomplish that the minutes just seem to race by so fast you can hear them pounding in your ears. At least, thats the way I feel. I feel guilty and panicky all day. Guilty that I am not with my daughter by choice , and panicky with all the things I feel I need to do and the not enough time to really do them all.
That pressure is annoying.
Thats exactly what I have been trying to articulate. I need a day to myself in which I actually do things for myself that are not necessarily productive. In fact, better if they are unproductive. Of course, a run is always a must on these days.
You are the best. I wish I knew you in real life.
I think you did a pretty fantastic job articulating it! Thanks for your comment. It feels good to feel not alone in this! We’ll get there. Right?
Goodness I couldn’t have said what is in my mind any better……it seems I get less done when I’m not with my girls than when I am. I think it’s because I feel more guilt in sitting when I am with them……so when I’m not I do sit, sometimes I sit doing nothing the entire time. Yes I feel guilty but less guilty than if I was sitting when I they were with me!
& ps you are amazing & I too wish I could know you in person!!
Don’t you just love the mountains right now! Everything looks velvety and inviting…some days I literally feel like climbing to the top of a hill out back and twirling around in song. How can that ever be bad? Glad you were able to out run that pesky pressure…it’s really hard some days!
Jaim
Love this post! I feel that same pressure when I have a day off to make it count! But the truth is, so much more happens when you let go and see where the day takes you. What a lovely day!
I recently started “Carry On, Warrior”. I can tell that it’s going to change my life. My question for myself is: where DOES that pressure come from? Why do I always have to DO more, BE more. A yogi tea bag told me, “simply BE.” Whew. Maybe, I can simply RUN. You are quite the inspiration, Mama. Thanks for sharing. xo
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