As of last week, I now have Tuesday and Thursday from 9-3 all by myself. My kids are both in school on those days. We bike there together and then I bike home alone, listening to air whiz past my ears, my breath and my crooked front tire brush against the fender. I’ve been meaning to fix that for a year. Maybe I’ll make time to do that now.
It’s weird. I am alone. Not lonely, just alone. I was thinking on that yesterday morning as I made a coffee and tried to organize my thoughts on what I ought to do. My to-do list is currently of epic length concerning things like ordering and designing fall inventory, taking on five new retailers, hiring a new employee, writing that book I put on hold this summer…and then there’s house stuff like cleaning the coop, mowing the lawn, painting the kitchen cabinets, laundry and preserving the mountains of garden harvest. It is easy for me to overbook myself by myself, assuring my brain that I have SIX WHOLE HOURS without children so, clearly I can accomplish at least eight times that of my former self.
So, yes, I was thinking on this while making coffee. And then Alice rubbed against my leg, stared into my eyes and wagged her whole butt. She looked right at me and said you’re not alone! I am HERE and I want to run with you! I will always run with you! Or just hang out! I love to hang out! I love you endlessly! Can I please have that broccoli stalk just laying there on the counter?
And so we did just that, Alice and me. She can’t go far these days but sister loves to run. And broccoli stalks are her most favorite treat of all time.
I ran home, emailed, packed up some orders and left to run errands. I returned with 85 yards of fabric and 60 pounds of peaches to five hens in the yard. We have six. I looked everywhere and couldn’t find Cup. I had to go get Margot from school and then to our date at the bead store. We swung back home because I forgot her purse (full of *her* money that she made this week. more on that later). We found Cup chillin’ in my bedroom on the rug, under the ceiling fan. Chicken shit everywhere. I’d locked her in the house for three hours.
We picked Ruby up and then came home, an explosion of lunch boxes and backpacks and stories and gobs of kids running in and out of every door as I made quesadillas and scurried behind with toilet paper shouting watch out for chicken poop! while still in my skunky running clothes.
I kicked off my shoes and got lost in the garden. The evening rolled into a driveway dance performance with the neighbor kids and dinner gathering. I finally got my shower at 11:30.
I think I nailed it. I really do. The to-do list, the expectations, the anticipation…really, it’s a simple series of moments and choices. My day ended full, messy, happy, loving, accomplished, energized and thankful. What more could I want?
25 Comments
You totally nailed it! Chicken shit and all, this is living. Beautiful, happy living!
I’m not normally a feet picture fan, but the one with Alice’s feet is the best picture of all time.
Love that you realize you are not lonely, just alone….and oh wait! Your are not even that, Alice I adore you!
Laughing out load of the vision of Cup “cooling it” amongst chicken poop in your bedroom!
I always feel better after reading your words!
xo, Mom
ps….I adore you too!
I love-love-love that you feel a sense of accomplishment from your full day. I could see myself spinning it so differently and feeling overwhelmed by all I DIDN’T get done or the plans that DIDN’T go as I’d hoped… which, frankly, is really just silly. (Ahem, like this morning when I arrived to work frazzled and an hour late because my daughter’s school bus never showed up and our whole morning schedule went out the window!) Living life and embracing the messy moments is what it’s all about. Thank you for the beautiful reminder. 🙂
I’m so glad to hear that you can relate to over-estimating yourself. It is my MO. I just wrote a similar post about feeling overwhelmed and going for a rejuvinating run. Not as lovely as yours, but always looking to you for inspiration. xo
A friend always says that I am “overly optimistic about the number of hours in a day.” It’s a positive and gentle way of describing my yes! attitude that often makes me late (there’s always time for one little thing, right?). I’d love to read your post! Link to it?
Overly optimistic…still better thank pessimist, right? My friend likes to say- fitting 10 lbs of shit in a 5 lb bag. Yep! I am always late as well! It’s probably not my best post, but would love to have you look. Seriously, your blog has inspired me to write and record life, oodles of thanks! http://www.peacelovemusicgrows.com/2013/09/down-changeover.html
I love everything, everything, everything about this post. It’s so true that no matter what you ‘think’ you want to accomplish in any given day…..it can be filled up with all sorts of other stuff that you never thought of….but at the end of it all, you are HAPPY and FULL. Amen. I love Alice’s grey face and eyebrows and that she loves broccoli. I love your dirty feet ( that sounds creepy…but I can relate to the grub and grime from walking barefoot constantly). I LOVE (x a thousand) that your chicken was trapped in your house for 3 hours. Seriously, best story ever.
Have another great adventure Tuesday, Momma. enjoy.
Go ahead and love my dirty feet. They are, for better or worse, very much a part of me. Just ask Andy. 🙂 Thanks for the Tuesday encouragement. First, the weekend!
I am already planning my morning runs with Odyssey while both kids are at school…Tuesday and Thursday.
I also have kitchen cabinets to paint, but my runs with Odyssey…I need them.
Cheers, momma!
The best kind of maintenance! Cheers back at cha.
The last picture…WOW. Who knew feet could move me to tears?
I lost my baby girl dog Apples 2 years ago. She was my Alice…my best friend, loyal companiob and champion of all things fun and joyful and yummy! When you post about Alice it just makes me so happy…I can’t describe it. What a good girl she is…and quite a looker I might add.
Signed – The Wannabe President of the Alice Cline Fan Club – Denver Branch
Ugh, losing a pet is so painful and hard. Apples is just about the most perfect name for a bff canine I’ve ever heard of. It makes me happy that Alice makes you happy! 🙂
So glad that Alice could put your morning into perspective with just a look and a wiggle. Bless her sweet doggy heart.
Every single post you write inspires me!
“what could have been a day where the focus was the chicken shit in the boudoir, Nici Holt Cline delivers the true goods: laughs and upbeat reflections on homesteading and making as montana mama” -Nicolette Gawthrop
(maybe this could be a blurp about your book you’re writing someday)
xo
Whenever you post pics of Alice, I cry. Sometime little teary eyes. Sometimes ugly cry. I love how you love her. And I wish I had just one more summer to have loved our dog. 13.5 years was not long enough. Continue to love love love her and make her golden years so golden it hurts.
Gosh, I just love the virtual love for my sweet girl! I *will* continue to polish her golden years. Going to give her a little ear scratch, cheek kiss now. Thanks.
Ok…so, first my heart dropped when I read 5 hens not 6 & then it stopped altogether when I read that Cup was missing & then I almost cried when I read that, not only had you found her, but that she was lounging on the rug under the ceiling fan! I love that! Forget about the chicken shit…small price to pay for having her safe & sound.
The pic of that little speck of Alice under that beautiful Montana sky…breathtaking!
And the last shot….so, so precious. I like you, Nici.
Oh, I am just going to join the gushing Alice parade. I miss my girl, Osa. It’s been over 2 years and we have yet to replace her. Love that Alice still has her niche cut-out in your busy life. Speaking of busy, over-planning is exactly how I roll too. I’ll write a to-do list in the morning that, realistically, I would be lucky to accomplish over the course of several weeks. And, who wants to stand around being early? There is always one more thing to do, and I am *always* late. : )
I love reading your posts…please get writin´ that book! My daughter named one of our chickens Cup as well and another Lay. Also, I adore that last picture by the heart rock, so sweet 🙂
Great post, always amuses me when people ask what I do with my day now my daughter is at school, I think they imagine me sitting with my feet up drinking cups of tea in a tidy house – haha far from it, my mind is running at 1000 miles an hour with the endless possibilities for my 6 hours to myself, shit ( not chicken and not literally) all over the house – tempted to put my feet up with just the effort of thought. “Overly optimistic about the number of hours in the day ” – thats a great description – life lived to it’s fullest.
LOVE the whole post but especially the Alice commentary and last pic. Just precious. XO
<3Hayley
,,,i love that alice keeps you company. and i love, love, love the heart stone. i love anything hearts and i have a heart stone collection myself. i always think of you when i look at them. (smile),,,
man, dude, it’s good to read your blog again. reading blogs has completely disappeared from my world. it takes enough work to write my own thoughts down on a not-at-all-regular-basis.
someone left a comment on a blog post of mine from probably 4 years ago and as i went there to read the comment, i saw a comment from you i didn’t remember. how awesome to click on your photo and be transported into your world by your words.
thanks.