Long before any of us had kids, I held a monthly soire at my house. Bitch’s Night. The premise was simple: ladies, come on over, bring other ladies, have a beverage or two. It was born out of the fact that of all the amazing women in my life, I don’t get to see any of them as much as I’d like and they all know other women that I don’t know…so it is an open house for bitches. But it is called Bitch’s Night, not Bitches Night. Like we own it.

I had this panicked moment last weekend when I realized that my life as it is now will change forever at any moment. We didn’t host a single party last summer, which is highly unusual for me. I haven’t hosted Bitch’s Night in over a year.

So, I called an emergency BN. And, while many couldn’t accommodate the last minute invite (a further testament to our lives moving from I-can-rally-anytime to Let-me-check-my-daytimer), we had a perfect group.

It is different. Yes. We have all dug in a bit. Whether it is career, parenthood or both, we have all made choices that would make it a lot more difficult to pack our subarus and move. Sometimes this is a nostalgic realization. The days of I’ll just quit my job if my boss doesn’t let me go skiing tomorrow and I think I’ll move to Argentina next month have been replaced with marriage, homes, pets, kids and job security.

But this generic shift is a evolutionary and wonderful. Relationships with these women are richer and more thirst-quenching. During my heady introspection at a three hour gathering over soup, I felt so fortunate.
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CARROT FENNEL SOUP
edited, improved 11/10

* olive oil
* one onion chopped
* five garlic cloves, minced
* six large carrots
* three celery ribs, chopped
* one fennel bulb, sliced thin and fronds chopped up
* 6 cups water or broth
* 1 tsp. balsamic vinegar
* salt and pepp

directions

1. In a large saucepan, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the onions and cook until the onions, fennel and celery. Cook for about five minutes.
2. Add carrots and cook for another 10 minutes. Stir a lot.
3. Add water or broth. Simmer for 45 minutes-1 hour–until everything is soft and smells divine.
4. Add balsamic, salt and pepper.
5. Use an immersion blender or food processor to puree.
6. Stir in chopped fennel fronds.