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the non-negotiables
January 11, 2010

mama digs: my weekly column at mamalode.com

My mom always says pick your battles. And, although annoying when I was an annoying teenager, it has always been true. Especially applicable with a toddler.

Pick your battles.

Like, when your kid wants to wear The Coat even though it is 19 degrees outside and it has a peanut butter funk over its entirety and it is more like a spring-time sweater, you dig The Coat out of the laundry from under poop-crusted diaper covers and move on…click here to read the rest of this essay at mamalode.com.

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17 Comments


Melissa
January 11, 2010 at 6:20 PM

yay it’s monday and there’s a column to read. I love it. I so hear you on the battle picking. Like when we play musical chairs at dinner (Avi: i sit in your chair mommy, no, i sit in aba’s chair, no, i eat your food mommy, etc) and we don’t mind too much. It’s funny when other people mind. Like my brother, who wondered why I let avi “boss me around.” That’s when I gave him the battle picking speech. Big things and small things. Musical chairs is small. Bedtime is big.

Love the column! Margot is so cute on skis. I love photos of your MT girls (EK, too)in the snow. xo



jen
January 11, 2010 at 6:22 PM

you have no idea how applicable this may just be to the package that i just sent you. sorry for that.
stopping by quick to tell you the package is on it’s way … and that i included the bell from your mom 2 years ago … but i brown bagged it so that margot wouldn’t see it …
also … the box was much too big and all they could hand me for packing material was a bunch of plastic bags. please oh please tell me that you can recycle those for me. i feel awfully guilty for not having appropriate packing material on hand.
enjoy!



booksNyarn
January 11, 2010 at 7:21 PM

Love this – clothing became the “choose your battles” with my girl after a fierce discussion that just because both the polka-dotted leggings and the checkered top she was wearing both had the same color (because all pinks are the same. not.) we were both exhausted.

I’d be thrilled to be on skis if I had a hat just like Margot’s too… šŸ™‚

PS. Let me know how the next “bread battle” goes.



jen
January 11, 2010 at 7:58 PM

oh no! just found the card that was supposed to be in the box too! in. my. purse. argh.
i will be sending that along tomorrow! sorry!



Domestic Diva
January 11, 2010 at 8:22 PM

great article, nici! i have to tell you … my kiddos, all three of them, now have ski gear! my husband was crazy obsessed this weekend trying to find the best deals on used equipment. and, now we’re just waiting on the mail … yay!!



FinnyKnits
January 11, 2010 at 8:38 PM

Your non-negotiables are great. Of course they’ll ski. As though there’s any other way to be when you live in Montana? Or anywhere within a 4 hour drive of snowy mountains? No. No, there is not.



Hocking Hills Gardener
January 11, 2010 at 9:51 PM

Oh, I remember those days. It is much better to go with it than fight the battle. šŸ™‚



Malissa
January 12, 2010 at 2:34 PM

Great article! The best part; Bug’s big grin as she skis between your legs. My daughter is nine and we have been taking her skiing since she was three. We never gave her a choice either. Now she follows my husband and I all over the mountain. We have the best ski days. My favorite times together as a family are our ski days! I think it is one of the best gifts you can give your children! šŸ™‚



mememom
January 12, 2010 at 8:18 PM

As always, great insight! Love reading your thoughts. The battles will change over the years…the spring sweater will morph into a belly piercing šŸ˜‰ and you’ll need to practice the mantra: “Pick your battles”. I think it’s one of the best pieces of advice a mother can absorb. Love ’em, laugh with ’em and don’t sweat the small stuff.



Tina
January 12, 2010 at 9:01 PM

Love the story!
My husband and I have often wondered if our 5 mo old son, Zane, will have the same love of the outdoors as we do. So far it appears we have a born outdoorsman on our hands. We are grateful for this as camping, hiking, fishing etc will be some of the ā€œnon-negotiablesā€ at least until he is able to really protest. We are hoping that day never comes.



Terri
January 12, 2010 at 9:01 PM

Who is that downhill racer?! Oh Margot you are going to love it….so many great times ahead.

Yes, even more true as you age to pick your battles. Don’t sweat the small stuff and grab the big stuff with passion!



TM_Erin
January 12, 2010 at 9:02 PM

When my family moved from New Mexico to Utah, my Mom (rockstar skier that she was) took me to get outfitted for skis during our first winter. It was, and still is, one of the greatest gifts she ever gave me. I can’t wait to teach my girl to ski!



paige
January 12, 2010 at 9:02 PM

Love your writing here, there and everywhere.



Kelle
January 13, 2010 at 2:16 PM

sweet memories your girls will have of those snowy hills and their first ‘steps’ on skis.
…and big open smiles are always the best…yours and hers.
right now, our only non-negotiable is leaving the pacifier at home. perhaps when we get over that hump, we shall find other, more challenging nons. :o)



Kelle
January 13, 2010 at 2:18 PM

p.s. funny…pretty soon, i’ll notice ‘the coat’ not showing up in posts and it will make me sad. but you know what’s cool? a year or so from now, it will reappear…and ruby will be rockin’ it out. i love that damn coat.



skiiertoo
January 13, 2010 at 3:00 PM

This reminds me of something my ski crazy and very wonderful husband said when I was pregnant with our first… ā€œOf course I’ll love our child no matter what they want to do when they grow up- well, unless they decide to snowboard.ā€



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