Oh boy I am tired of thinking about balance so I just bet you are tired or reading about it. But it’s on my mind so here goes.
I really love my full life. I like to be busy, irons in the fire, short and long-term goals. BUT I also need to drink my coffee while sitting still and to go for a walk without an end time. I know these things about myself and yet I am always struggling to find that fucking balance.
Lately boredom is not the side I am swinging towards. Holy holy I am busy. And sometimes, a lot of the time, when I am busy I feel paralyzed. When my wee window of Time To Get It Done emerges, I feel like those cartoon characters who shovel and shovel hay while the pile remains the same size.
My problem is I like to say YES to all things fun and worthwhile. And because I have incredible friends, a super fun family and lots of great work, I am just living YES right now. So this public declaration is my way of holding myself accountable to putting clothes on backorder in my etsy shop (see how I link to it anyway? YES), saying ACK! to that laundry that threatens to swallow my children and bear hugging oatmeal for dinner.
In doing this I am also allowing myself permission to say YES to all the stuff that I totally need no matter what like writing, girlfriend time, running, laying on the floor with my daughters and adult conversation with my husband.
It all works out and it works out the best when I believe it will. And I so believe in all my family is doing right now. Andy is nearly finished with his four-year electrical apprenticeship, he is making great art and come hell or high water, will get a great day of skiing in this season. And I am loving all my irons in the fire. Our girls are really cool (right now Ruby is on my lap relentlessly sucking on her favorite giraffe head and Margot sits next to us tickling her sister).
So, life. YES.
nuggets.
:: My little Ruby Rubes, as I’ve come to call her, is just the sweetest little peanut. She looks at me, into me, in a way I’ve never experienced. I get the feeling that she has stories to tell, things to do. She can’t wait to talk and run and dance.
Andy and I think she’ll be quieter than Margot. An observer, a researcher.
My little red-headed leapshin.
:: My mom’s last day was lazy and loving. I really adore this photo.
:: Bug and her art making increasingly amazes me. She is so intentional, every color and mark deliberate. She loves to explore media and tools.
We make every day. And the creative nook has exceeded any idea I had when I put it together so long ago…it’s one of her favorite places.
:: Our spontaneous trip to Helena was the perfect getaway. And we stopped by the Archie Bray Foundation for Ceramic Arts on the way home, as we always do.
The magical campus is bursting with art, little whispers and shadows of previous ceramic artists tucked in around nature.
And, really, my husband carrying his daughters around puts the most obvious smile on my face.
:: I had about a 45 minute turnaround to get back out the door after Helena. Just enough time to unpack and repack and eat a piece of cheese. Ruby and I picked up Jennifer and headed north to Quinn Hot Springs where we met up with eight girlfriends for some soaking and gabbing and loving on our dear friend who is about to have her second baby.
One thing of note is that I was kicked out of the bar. After dinner, the ten of us walked into the bar area of the restaurant where a lively karaoke scene was gearing up. We started thumbing through the big, blue three-ring binder, picking songs. Dancing, laughing. Casey and I had our babies sleeping in slings. The bartender called us tacky. Told us to get right on out, completely appalled that we’d be in her bar in tiny town Montana with our sweet girls snoozing safely against our bodies. And while she was wrong and unnecessarily bitchy, we decided to head on out with our tribe. We had our own party laying like pick-up-sticks thrown across two queen beds. I didn’t even get to sing Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?
:: Margot is totally hooked on what she calls The Crazy Movie. We watch it every day.
Honestly, I can’t get enough of it either. So brilliant.
:: Bug is a big help in the garden. She asked for her own garden and so she has it. Carrots and a pumpkin are all her heart desires. And to water with her own blue watering can.
:: Ruby has really been discovering the power of her hands. Observing the wonder and awe at seeing something for the very first time is truly amazing. And poignant. Hands really are pretty cool.
:: I adore my kids’ bedroom. It’s a lively space where we jump on the bed, read just one more book, don endless clothing permutations, dance and play. One of my favorite parts of being home with my girls is getting to spend time in there. When I worked outside my home, I came and left that space more than I stayed.
Some days, we spend hours discovering and rediscovering all the treasures between those walls.
YES.
23 Comments
YES indeed. So many times we are told to find the power to say “no”, but thank you for showing the bright side of saying “Yes”!
As for getting kicked out of the bar, their loss. Pickup sticks sounds just as fun. 🙂
I LOVE the power of the hands. It is probablly one of my faorite of the baby world dicoveries. I just love to sit and watch as they reach and touch their hands together as if it is the most magically important thing to pay attention to…because after all…it is! Balance has been my thing lately too, and I’ve discovered it’s all the push and pull of life. It’s natural, just go with it when you can and find things you love in the moments you can’t, like those sweet sweet girls you’ve got! And the hands, can’t forget about the hands!
:)Lisa
Babes this age are so fun and mysterious. The way my nearly 6-month old looks at me fills my heart in so many unexpected ways. Ruby is so cute!
Did your lettuce survive the December weather we have been having?
That video is awesome! I’m sure they had a blast putting all the little contraptions together.
And I love the picture of Margot with the water can. Especially the one where she realized she spilled a bit on the ground.
“Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.” ~Danny Kaye
🙂
i too say YES too often.
too often?
probably not the best choice of words.
a lot. (better).
but those yeses have brought SO. much into my life. it’s full. sometimes scary full. but fun nonetheless.
and i cannot wait to have my summer to just sit with my babes in their rooms and discover. we even have the outdoors right now … and the garden … and the backyard. i love it.
I agree with Earth Mamma. I was ecstatic the first time Nathan reached and grabbed for something. Such purpose and accomplishment and the world opening up for him on a whole new and important level.
Love margot b and her watering can. And man, Ruby, she is so stinking adorable.
I have NEVER been to the Archie Bray. I have been wanting to go for so forever. I’m going this year, dammit.
Rock on, m’ dear. Love you.
The watering can pictures are painful they are so adorable. She will be so proud of her pumpkin this fall. Did you cut Margot Bea’s hair? It looks shorter in the back in the bedroom shots. Ruby looks like she want to get off that bed and get busy in that room. Wow the Archie Bray looks really cool. I had no idea.
Good to hear you are still being tossed out of drinking establishments. Sounds like the old bartender did you all a favor. Much more fun hanging out on the beds with friends hooten it up.
Is it time to have your relatives help with the sewing? Just say YES
What a great post! By the look of things you are making all the right decisions. Your family is just adorable and sooo happy.
Holy Effin’ Nuggets, Baby! Oh, this was good. We are SOOOOO in the same boat with balance and NEVER being bored and yet craving being bored just a little.
SERIOUSLY with the getting kicked out? Oh, man. Dude, that’s harsh. You know after Lainey was born, I was NURSING her in a bar once…while drinking a beer. That had to look just awful. And yet I felt no need to explain that I needed the beer to get my milk goin’ and that we were just chatting with friends in a booth about love and life and babies and well…who gives?
The bar lost out…because you coulda given them a really fun night.
xoxo Lovin’ my nuggs.
Just a quick blurb – I LOVE the creative nook area! I am motivated now to find a little creative nook for our home – what a fun work space. Your pictures are beautiful as well! Thank you for sharing.
You know I already love your blog, but this made me love it even more:
I know these things about myself and yet I am always struggling to find that fucking balance.
Amen, sister, amen. Fucking balance. And the irony is the balance of all of that amazing stuff we cultivate!
Nici,
Love how you capture both daughters’ wide smiles in photos.
And the Daddy-daughter relationship is heart-singing!
I’m trying to remember that balance can be found in a 30 minute, solo walk *and* in jumping on the bed with your kids. It’s more like moments of balance than a life of balance. And maybe it’s better to say YES and mean it than chase the elusive ideal of balance.
I love taking a tiny break from all of my irons to read about your life and I hope that sometimes what I write makes people feel the same way as I feel after I read your blog posts. I love you all and I hardly ever even see you or spend time with you. Thanks for the amazing photos as usual and sharing your special life with the world. I feel like our lives are very similar/parallel (almost always) makes my heart happy.
I love baby hands and kid water cans. xo
I love these pics and can totally relate to searching for balance and feeling frustrated when it isn’t found….I think that must be part of the deal with little kids. It just is so elusive…
Just wanted to let you know that I just found your blog and love it!!! Last week you inspired me to good a hearty sauce and eat it with pasta, on toast and on a baked potato.
Let’s just say, I’m not really an frequent cook so that was a big deal!
Just my quick first thoughts, while I ponder what to write to my granddaughters…
1. Thar bartender was not a native Montanan….probably from Newark NJ….go home!
2. I possibly, no DO have the cutest grandchildren in the entire world….hands down.
3. You and all your bathing beauty friends need pedicures….at least new polish!
4. I love you very much Burb….
my little guy loves that video too! he’s crazy for rube goldberg machines, and marble mazes of any sort. surprisingly, i think he likes this version even better though:
http://vimeo.com/8718627
i know his parents do. must be that xylophone?
honestly i’m reeling about the getting kicked out of that bar part of this post!! i’ve got this whole “river runs through it” peaceful, tranquil image in my head and then WHAM…pretentious bartender walks right in and kills it for me! kudos to you for leaving quietly!
love the photos of your babes, and that watering can photo with the cute little smile! so sweet! thanks for sharing! 🙂
Yes, you do not know BUSY until you have kids. Sometimes I secretly get mad at my sister when she tells me she’s so busy. She’s in school, no job, no kids….doesn’t that sound dreamy?
Also, I think you should be able to bring your infant to a bar. It’s not like there was smoking in the bar?! I have to admit, I also, have been kicked out of a bar with my infant.
She has her own garden! Love that.
Nice going, mama.
YES!
Wonderful pictures as always. We’ve also enjoyed our chives already–spring is very early this year in MN. Do you grow sorrel? It’s another very early herb that’s great on scrambled eggs.
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