This is the funniest thing I have read in a long time!

Wonderful story…hehe!!

Yes Nici, “we” understand and are all trying like hell to be good parents!! XO

Ah..thanks for the laugh..hilarious. It just seems so common sense that “we don’t stomp on people’s faces!” ha ha ha

We dont step on people’s faces made me lol! That’s good stuff! Is Rubes really 6 months already???? wow! Seems like she was just born yesterday!!

Oh, man. I can totally empathize with you right now. At our house last week, what started out as Theo ‘scratching Sullivan’s back~he likes it’ turned into pounding on his back with the other side of the hammer (play hammer~just to clarify). Sullivan had the same reaction as Ruby~the terrible no noise scream that turned into a terrible ache in my heart~and his little back. When I took his shirt off that night, his tiny spine was bruised.
It’s rough, but you’re so right~~we’re trying. And from what I hear, there will surely be more of these.

I had one of these a few months ago. “We don’t drink our pee.” He was lifting the inner potty bowl towards his face with both hands like a giant coffee mug. The good news is that my tone of voice stopped him dead in his tracks and instead he dumped all the pee in the toilet (which is why he was lifting it up in the first place). The even better news is that he’s never tried to drink it again.

What a great way to handle it! Wishing your advice would work with teenagers!

Wendy

Nici–perhaps this is a Universal Truth of the simplest, yet most profound kind…
All of us, worldwide, need to stop Dancing in our Potty…do you know what I mean? The happy, senseless “la la” we all get sucked up in…all the while not looking at our “messes”, our filth, our waste…
good post, and you have set my mind to thinking, over here in Washington.
blessings
jane

I LOVE IT…That is the funniest thing I have read in ages….My family totally uses WE sentences too…I will vow to be more careful!!! hehe

Wait until Margot says “But I DO!” in response to the We Don’t. I’m there now with Marquez. Sigh.

OH, this broke my heart as well….not my Margot Bea hurting my Ruby Jane…..I know she did not know.

I am impressed you can come up with a We Statement in lieu of a “WHAT THE F ARE YOU THINKING?” statement. Because that is, I’m pretty sure, what I’d be saying.

Which is why We (Bubba and I) are not to be parents. So glad you are, though. Nice work

I wish one year old dogs understood “we” statements. Cause then “we” wouldn’t eat poop on a walk.

LOL! The snot on the dog… still working on that one with our 4 year old grandson. Also, We don’t lick Gramma. Gramma really doesn’t like that. Followed by evil chortle, another lick, and running away really really fast.

sigh

We statements are for sure an instinctual, meaty part of (grand)parenting. And Wendy… I know, right?! Sheesh…

I laughed out loud at this!!! Kids are hilarious–they will break your heart and make it swell with joy and love all within 5 minutes.

Great post. I have been meaning to ask you if there is anything special you use to dig your dandelions as I have found the blue shovel pictured above to be the best tool in my arsenal, any hints? My co-worker suggested I spray them with boiling water and vinegar… does that work? Thanks.

Someday you are going to laugh your (swears) off about this one. That is a classic line from daddy, and an even more classic line for Margot!! Thanks for the humor!

I think I am going to adopt your digging 25 dandelions a day idea. I have loads of them in the yard and refuse to use tru-green or Nitro-green services for our lawn. And I really don’t want to spend an entire day or two days plucking them all. Oh and I also laughed out loud at the we don’t dance on our potty. Best, b.

WE don’t dig dandelions. WE lazily them up with our fingers, leaving roots and therefore WE have a stupid, yellow lawn.

Dang. She parents to beat the band, blogs successfully and digs dandelions. You’re my hero.

beautiful photos, and very funny! I found you through “enjoying the small things” and Im a new follower. 🙂

love it. I hadn’t thought about all the “we statements” we make as parents. I say alot:

“we do not choke our brother.”

last night was the first – “We do not rub our bare butts on the carpet”.

one could probably write a hilarious book of “we statements” said to children. I think parents say “we” because it lessens the harshness of the simpler “Do Not….”

This totally made me laugh in the same way I laugh inside when I’m unleashing a “we statement” on one of my kids that sounds sort of hilarious. Like yesterday after C threw a friend’s shoe in the fast-moving creek. “We don’t throw friends shoes in the water!” Seems obvious, but uh…

And apropos of “stomping on faces:” one time when R was a baby and we were at the Children’s museum, Col came running to me shouting “Rosie’s crying! Rosie’s crying!” I praised C for telling me and then hours later he asked “why do you think Rosie was crying?” “I don’t know.” I replied. “Maybe it’s because I pushed her down.” He said nonchalantly.
We do not push sisters down!
And this morning to Rose: We do not flush toys down the toilet!
Also, you have the best post titles.

oh my goodness, nici!

this post had me laughing. like real laughing. i loved this one. when you wrote of her saying that she ‘stomped on her face’ as plainly as saying ‘i like orange shoes.’ yeah, cracking up.

i love how you guys love the outdoors as you do. the way you wrote that you only go inside to rest/bath…brings me back to childhood and how we kids almost never went inside. i miss that.
xoxoxo
give those babies a kiss from us.

I love the “We” statements as they do define what OUR particular family rules are; they are golden nuggets on their own. We also use the ol’ standby: “Kids who pick up their toys get to keep them” or “Kids who put their clothes in the hamper don’t have to scoop horse poop.” A while back our youngest gave me: “Mommies who let their kids eat a lot of candy get to scoop horse poop without being (inte)’rrupted.” If only we’d listen; we’d get so much more done!

Could you post what kind of sling that is? Love it.

The sling is a Sprout Pouch, made locally. We love it! Sprout Pouch is a dig sponsor and there is a link to her website in the sidebar of my blog.

I hear you on the dandelions. I figure I’m basically aerating the lawn by popping out those dandelion roots since they comprise about 25% of the lawn.

sometimes it’s almost painful to know that the sweet baby cheeks and chubby toes won’t last forever, isn’t it? You put the sentiment together in a lovely way.

Love this! It’s had me chuckling all week. Around here, “we” don’t lick our sister’s silverware right before she eats and “we” don’t eat cat food. This post made me realize how much first person conversation we don’t have around here. Your Andy story is such a great story on those teachable moments we all have. Nici, I loved this one. xoxo

i think that We Statements turn the situation into a teaching moment, rather than a scolding one. if you just say “Margot, don’t do that!” it sounds personal, and punitive, but with the We, you are simply sharing with her one of the customs of our culture, or your household. one you hadn’t thought to mention yet.

great column.

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