We’ve also had some really rough nights with sleepless kids and a puking Ruby. It’s interesting to me how frustrating, exhausting-to-the-bones and annoying grouchy kids combined with sleeplessness can be and, yet, completely forgotten in seconds. It’s why I rarely write about it. It happens but then I wake up, have coffee, get the best hug on the planet from Margot, roll around in bed with Ruby’s adoring, asymmetrical smile and I am energized and catapulted into thankfulness and happiness.
I know some people forget the pain of birth and that’s why they don’t talk about the mind-blowing twist, why they don’t mention the unfair cramps that come after the baby is born, the piercing hurt of those first days of nursing. I didn’t forget any of that. Not even a little bit. It’s true that it is insignificant once I locked eyeballs with my slippery daughters. But I still remember.
I am glad I forget the teary, bleary nights when I wake and stretch. Although, perhaps I remember them too…maybe it’s the same. It’s just that when I lock eyeballs with my daughters, now growing and strong and capable of controlling my heart, it’s insignificant. It’s not forgotten, just unimportant.
Either way, I wrote about the agony of being up all night in this week’s mama digs, the sun’ll come out tomorrow. In writing it I realized I haven’t had more than four uninterrupted hours of sleep in over a year. Oh. I can’t wait for sleep.
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,,,i wish you lived next door, i would offer up 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep,,,margot, ruby and i would find our way outdoors, to the park, in the sandbox, on the swings and YOU a restful nap!,,,
Wow, the blue in that picture is so blue and pretty!
C barfed all over our kitchen/hallway/in-transit-to/bathroom floor yesterday. And we had a house showing in an hour.
He puked three more times at Nana’s house while we waited out the showing. He fell asleep in our bed.
Today he’s been dancing and singing and begging for food. All is forgotten. Poof!
Also? I loved every second of rubbing his back and tucking him in and giving him tepid Sprite. I think those things act as brain washers. They help us forget, or maybe not even notice, the ick factor of it all.
Hey Nici,
So I have some unsolicited advice. If it will help, then great. If not, maybe one of your Missoula readers will appreciate it. There is a fantastic woman at Families First-Sarah P (her last name is long and is Polish-forgive me for forgetting it). She is a social worker by training and she changed our world. I keep meaning to send her flowers. We met with her when our son was 9 months old and he was waking every 1-1.5 hours. We told her we didn’t want to do the cry it out method and she sat down and listened to our concerns and told us that he would be sleeping through the night in 6 nights and we didn’t have to leave him in the room crying. Anyway, I certainly didn’t believe it but we followed her advice and sure enough, the boy who woke 6 times a night was sleeping 11 hours by the fifth night. He is now 15 months and a true champion sleeper. Don’t know if that will help but it certainly helped my husband and I’s in the middle of the night random anger!
PS. Love the pictures!
Donna
Oh man! We’ve been thinking about you with daylight saving and your little morning bird and how it would mean getting up that much ealier… Makes my eyeballs hurt just thinking of it! This too shall pass but sometimes it really sucks in the meantime. My little guy just started sleeping through the night a month ago but for 9 months it was hell and now it’s over. I really, really feel for you until she figues it out. My mantra was: he won’t be waking 4 times a night at 15 years old – and if he does I certainly won’t be waking with him to nurse him. So, I. can. do. this. and then all on his own he figured it out. Here’s sending good vibes your way!
Mama fatigue is so hard. Even though, as you say, all is forgotten soon after the sun rises but still . . . my girlfriend and I just spent a good 45 minutes discussing this very thing!
Love your honesty, Nici! xoxo
Beautifully written as always!
There are some moments when I really feel like a Mama… those middle of the night wake-fests, being barfed on, wiping noses, bottoms, hands, mouths, or my personal favorite, the ER trip to get a dried blueberry dislodged from my 2 year old’s nose – those would be the from the dark side of the mother-hood. But there are also the times when my kids run into my arms, or I am up late baking for a school thing or when I get an unsolicited “I love you Mommy”… oh how those moments send me over the moon. They really do help balance it all out. Not forgotten, you got that right, but rolled through.
This from the bleary-eyed-mama who hates it when time changes & my littles decide they no longer need sleep.
In search of something caffeinated…
xo
Kate
p.s. I seem to get the best word verifications on your site… today it’s “cophipple”. Or maybe I am just easily amused?!?
Ah, you raise a good point – childbirth and those first few days of nursing are all but forgotten. But when you’re in the thick of it, it’s definitely a “holy shit” moment. Remember, you can do it. You’re almost there. You can give up sleep for 1 year. That first 8 hour stretch will feel like heaven to you.
We get sleep now, but still have those interrupted nights. The other night was a potty break in the middle of the night that sent Alex into her own 2 yr old fit (ok, you’re mad b/c you woke yourself up?). Funny today as I think about it, but not at 3am when she finished the bathroom break and continued the tantrum for another 10 minutes. I found myself saying, “what can I do for you?” and trying to cover the pissed and annoyed attitude that comes with the 3am Chinese fire drill. Ha.
I loved your writing this week. And always look forward to your Monday morning article.
-Jennifer from Annapolis
I’m always amazed at how we are able to adjust to living on little sleep when we need to. I think it can depend on the reason. Babies needing us vs. neighbors dog barking can create two different emotions!
Oh girl I feel ya…I haven’t slept through the night since my 1st born arrived in July of 2007 and if we want to date back to all the pregnancy insomnia yep it’s been a good 4 years of not so hot sleep…but like you it’s amazing how the sweet smiles of my 3 yr old or 5 month old make all the bags under my eyes just a little bit smaller!
We’ll pay them back when they’re teenagers right 🙂
I hear it’s snowing in Bozeman. NOT READY!!!
Whooo boy, do I know ‘those days’. Even though our daughter is 20, we had one of ‘those days’ yesterday… I think I might go write about it on my sadly neglected blog.
You have the best attitude! And you’re right, the bleghs don’t hold a candle to the cuddles or smooshy kisses. We’re having a lousy, sleepless week here too…I think the mama’s of the world should band together and fight to get rid of the time change altogether.
Oh Nici! I hear you on the sleep thing! I’ve only got 1 child…Miss Ella who will be 3 in January…and we were NOT blessed with a sleeper! She is amazing in every sense of the word {coming from a Mummy bias I’m sure} but a SHOCKER when it comes to sleep! Going on nearly 3 years now & I too, have not had longer than 4 hours at a time in the sleep department! But you are so right, after that morning coffee & a moment with your child/ren…everything seems OK once again 🙂
xo
P.S. I love the sound of your usual Family Fridays!
Totally understand. As with several of the above comments, I am a Mom who hasn’t slept well in 5 1/2 years (I have twins)…make that 6 years since I never slept well when I was pregnant.
I wouldn’t trade it for the world….
Maybe we all can get 7-8 hours of sleep someday; just maybe…
Loved today’s blog. Totally changed my day and made me smile. Lots of hours of sleeping vibes to you!!!
more than four uninterrupted hours of sleep in over a year!!!!!!!
holy crap! you should farm the girls out to friends for one night and go to bed at 5:00pm.
I totally agree with the last commenter… farm the kids out and get some sleep! This coming from a woman who has a 4 year old and sleeps great, but knows she will not be sleeping great in about 2 months with new little babe. So take it for what its’ worth. I just think a well rested mama is so worth the time and effort. xo
I totally agree with the last commenter… farm the kids out and get some sleep! This coming from a woman who has a 4 year old and sleeps great, but knows she will not be sleeping great in about 2 months with new little babe. So take it for what its’ worth. I just think a well rested mama is so worth it. xo
I am still in complete awe at our ability as mamas to regain and recharge so quickly. I try to remind myself often to enjoy it~even the hardest most trying hours~because in no time at all they will hardly need me.
oh man, my girls are almost 11 and age 9.5 and I just started sleeping through the night this past 6 months! it went from them in my bed, to them on my floor, waking up with nightmares, to go the bathroom etc. it’s crazy! I finally get 7-8 hours uninterrupted! I earned it after all these years!
hope you get some more sleep and alot sooner than I ever did!
your girls are ADORABLE!
tara
Honest. Love it. Isn’t it crazy when babies wake in repetition? Olive wakes in 7 minute series. Ugh. Days like that are tough. Happy you all got to the other side.
Oh how I know “those” days… all too well. Knowing you are not in it alone helps… as does breathing & getting a break asap… but sometimes ya just gotta lose it. Makes the sweet times that much sweeter.
My little guy is 1 month & though I miss my sleep, I love to snuggle & nurse him. I opted for an epidural because I can’t handle pain, but no one told me how I would feel AFTER birth! I thought I wouldn’t walk “normal” ever again. I won’t forget how I felt, but I also won’t dwell on it either. 🙂 Someday, sleep will be mine again… it makes me bittersweet.