For nearly two decades, my husband and his childhood friends have been wading through a certain stretch of river where goose-sized brown trout swim. Girlfriends began joining in some time ago. We became wives. And, now, a growing posse of kids knows this magical, cold stretch of dark blue in the Big Hole Valley.
It was cold last weekend. Hard to peel away from the fire’s warmth at night, we’d hold our breath as we slid into our zero degree bags waiting for body heat and down to work its magic. The kids and husband slept great. Me? Not so much. With temps in the mid-20s I kept waking to check on Margot and Ruby, who were toasty warm every single time. Nonetheless, I continued to wake and check à la newborn times.
On the second night, our friends went to town for dinner while our family made burritos by the fire. Our daughters fell asleep on our laps in their puffy coats, pjs and headlamps. We talked, hugged by black and constellations. Andy rose every few minutes with Margot cradled in one strong arm to adjust the burning wood, to encourage the warmth.
Dry timbers catch and burn. Bright and hot, passing fire to surrounding sticks. The irregular cackling like high fives cheering flames rhythmically pumping upward. It slows and slows into glowing, charred remains. Still with life, it doesn’t take much work to rekindle the fire’s productivity — one stir, one more log and it’s ablaze once more. The fire will continue to burn with a little attention, respect, effort and finesse.
I talked with a friend yesterday who, the week before, felt exhilarated that her baby had been sleeping through the night. She was excited for the new phase when another turned up: teething which interrupted coveted sleep. It’s the way with parenting, right? Just when our family jingle is in tune, the chord changes.
Something extinguishes or burns too hot. We rearrange ourselves, finding that sweet spot of comfort. We get in there to shuffle our pile, to turn and move things around. We add fuel and settle in until the next change demands we rise and reconfigure our energy source.
:: SO thankful for the sun’s warmth.
:: Ruby makes nests, Andy fishes.
:: Tank top weather in the afternoons.
:: Lassoing my kids to brush teeth.
:: Wading with Ruby on my back, Andy in front with Margot on his back.
:: The rare snap of Andy and me, enthusiastically taken by Ruby.
:: Wandering.
:: Morning warm up with my always-early-risin’ girl.
:: Riverside, in current.
:: Catch and release. Ruby’s favorite minutes from the weekend.
We are in a comfortable parenting place right now; our fire well-stoked.
Margot is passionate about reading and math, spending every night sounding-out and adding. She needs to talk a lot about every thing she sees and hears. Last night we sat on the bathroom floor for an hour discussing different kinds of schooling, what it would be like if we could fly by pushing a button, how kangaroos grow babies and why our bodies need protein. Ruby’s daily food intake is double that of every other human in our home. She skips everywhere she goes. She is a sponge to Margot’s reading and math, which knocks me over with amazement every single day. Yesterday, on her own, she wrote the names of our entire family. Both sisters can fill their own water bottles and usually make the choice to talk instead of hit.
I am enjoying this life season, excited for the next iteration of discomfort and subsequent ignition.
31 Comments
Magic photos, magic thinking, magic words.
Inspirational parenting and lifestyle choices!
All the best from the alps
Ali
I love your blog so much. It calms me, teaches me, inspires me, fuels me. Thank you. I hope to give my daughter such fun memories and traditions as you give yours.
Beautiful post.
Those puffy jackets and rain boots remind me so much of my childhood winter camping adventures! Each year merges with the next in my mind as one big glob of lovely memories digging and running and riding around on my dads shoulders. Know that even if your girls don’t remember specifics they will remember the FEEL of the trips for their whole lives!
Tradition is something truly special.
I love this so much: Know that even if your girls don’t remember specifics they will remember the FEEL of the trips for their whole lives! That is so true!
I love this too! It’s a great reminder for me to monitor the mood when we are involved in some kind of adventure. (As in, stressed mama = no fun for anyone). You have some wonderful memories, it sounds like.
I laughed out loud at your descriptions of the girls right now. If you combine them, that’s our little man. The only time he isn’t talking/questioning is when he’s eating. I remind myself that I will miss both someday.
I always leave here smiling. Actually, the smiles start with the first few words.
LOVE this post. I so wish I could get my husband to enjoy the outdoors as much as my 4 year old and I do. Oh and the pic of Alice in focus and Andy in the background is stunning!
So beautiful. All of it. The photos, your relationship with the girls, the nature you have been blessed with all around you, and your words. I love it. I am about to start my third a la newborn season in two and a half years (yes, three babies born to me in two and a half years), so the season is daunting, but gone all too quickly. Thank you for the gentle reminder to enjoy any and all seasons with our littles.
Love this post! I never comment, but the Big Hole is a holy ground for my crew as well so this hits home. Still in the girlfriends joining phase and reading this makes me so excited for the future – to carry on traditions with little ones. The fish photo with Ruby and Andy is amazing!
I stumbled across your blog when I was pregnant with my first daughter and have been reading it ever since. Now I have two little girls, the first is old enough to sing songs and paint.
Your pictures and words inspire. Love it!
There are five years between my boys (currently 6 and 1) and the second time (and final time) around I feel like I’m more present. I know the sleeplessness will pass. I know the potty training will come. I know this season is so very short in the grand scheme of life…a little fleeting blip on the radar. I try to revel as much as I can.
I had a moment this summer on our vacation to California where I watched my boys frolick in the sand. The little one staring in awe at the giant sandbox of the beach, creating a sandcastle of epic proportions, my oldest fearlessly charging into the waves and I thought about my own childhood. And those ARE the things I remember. Those times with my family where I felt free to be me, free to enjoy, unabashed, whatever adventure we were on. They are by far my favorite memories. I wish the same for my boys, and every child.
Thanks for this. On a stressful morning, you brought back a good memory. 🙂
Nici, this was so wonderful to read this morning, as my mind is turning somersaults with thoughts so similar to what you’ve expressed here. I’ve always felt that, the moment I feel like I have this parenting gig figured out, something shifts and pushed me to stretch and adapt to new needs. I’m working on finding a comfortable place to perch while always being thrown a bit off-balance. It’s frustrating and wonderful in a way I don’t think I ever would have believed before becoming a parent. Also, it was so good to meet up with you last Saturday. I’m still plotting a NiciSarahEllie extravaganza of some sort…something…it will be good! Happy Halloween!
This was brilliant…..”We are in a comfortable parenting place right now; our fire well-stoked”! EVERY photo tells a wonderful story, I was looking for Alice….Happy to see her sweet face
I have told you this many times, I love that my granddaughters are growing up where I did. The memories you are creating will be there forever,,,,Montana the last best place!
Love to all!
ps…..BOO! Happy Halloween!
Swoon, mama. Seriously. Flying fishing. Gorgeous trout. Kids on back. What are you trying to do to me?! Also, you and Andy: happiness beams out of you two. xo
Thank you for this, Nici. I’m in an unsettled state of my parenting right now – lots of self-doubt, missed opportunities, and frustrations. It’s a daily struggle to find the balance between work/home/self-care. Your post gives me hope that with time and some attention, my fire will ignite and burn brightly again.
PS. That last series of Ruby on Andy’s back …. her smile is exquisite and so pure. Lovely.
I get it. The process is continual, isn’t it? When I am in a funky place, I do always find comfort in knowing it is temporary – that I am working on learning some new lessons. And that I will emerge on the other side of the funk with good momentum. Hugs, mama.
Gosh the pics are just magical. I love all the adventures you post with your beautiful family!
You are so talented. I find myself embarrassingly a little giddy when I have gone a week and not checked your blog and then I click…and find a little treasure. I love the writing. Love the photos. Love your perspective and the way you mother and do marriage. Thank you for being an inspiration. Even when you don’t have to be. It is refreshing to say the least.
Keep it up, hot momma.
What kind of coats do you put your kids in? We just moved to Wisconsin after spending 18 years in the PacNW and my kids have never owned a proper winter jacket as we don’t really get THAT cold in Oregon and Washington. But now, we are faced with sub zero temps and Help! I don’t know what to put them in!
Down puffy! The best. We’ve always scored deals on Patagonia during their annual sale but missed it this year. Costco actually has some nice down coats that are really affordable right now. We are also huge fans of the one-piece suits. So warm and easy on-off.
Love this! The temps may have low but this post is filled with warmth! xxxx
I love your stories and I often find myself imagining how life is where you are. Your stories are different than mine, but not that different. Different places, but the love for adventure and fun. Today though the weirdest thing happened: I saw my daughter’s favorite doll in your daughter’s arms:)). So weird..Cause I bought this cat 4 years ago, when she was 7 month old, and I had never ever seen it somewhere else, not here, in Romania, nor in a store in another country. And now I see it on your blog. So funny!
Whoa! My friend bought that for Ruby last year at an antique mall! Love that. 🙂
I was eating an enormous omelette and drinking a big glass of orange juice, which i’m not supposed to drink. I was thinking about cleaning the kitchen floor to make up for the fact that I ate all the pumpkin seeds and made me roommate really mad. Decided to check your blog, found this, and just stared at the photos for 10 minutes. I can’t wait for this to be my life. I am cautiously thinking I’m getting closer? Love the one of you and Rubes in the early morning.
MUCH love
lina
Beautiful post, beautiful pictures. You do a great job of getting right to the essence, and evoking those pure feelings of being a human. Every one of your posts lately has left me in tears! Enjoying this one with a quiet cup of coffee while my boys (3 & 1) are out on a walk with dad. We are so blessed in this life.
Love this! I have an almost two year old fella who loves being worn but is too big for our beco! What carrier do you use for the girls?! Would love to lengthen our babywearing days, if possible! Xo
The ergo. Love love love it! I can carry Margot comfortably and she will be 6 next month.
Thank you. Really just thank you, I always seem to exhale when I come to your space.
🙂
Seeing your girls in the ergo reminds me why I haven’t parted with mine yet. There are so many moments but more so conversations that I treasure with the girl strapped to my back. I can only imagine what it must be like to wade out with Dad for some fly fishing.
You storytelling through words and images always leave me with a smile and a heart inspired to do and to be more.