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Dear Ruby: stuff I want to remember, stuff I want you to know.
November 27, 2013

Written from the passenger seat of a fast-moving Subaru. We are headed to Portland for Thanksgiving! Wishing each and every one of you a day of love and thanks tomorrow and always.

:: :: ::

COMING FRIDAY: My own special Black Friday spin. It’s good, featuring 20 giveaways and 20 great deals from 20 small businesses I love. One day only.

:: :: ::

Dear Ruby,

Four! I really love you at four. I’ve loved each of your ages but right now suits you so well. You are so proud to be four.

Weeks ago I asked you how you wanted to celebrate your birthday. Margot listed the names of your friends and excitement built around your birthday party. You didn’t say anything for a bit. thinking. You then said you wanted a small party. I want to just invite you and daddy and Margot and Ellie. And I want to go to the carousel and ride and ride and ride and then go out to eat downtown. I want to eat macaroni and cheese!

So that’s what we did. The day began with the eating of egg burritos and the making of a chocolate cake with light pink frosting with a pile of rainbow sprinkles in the middle, all your requests. Mama, you pushed me out of your body four years ago? Margot made your little name bunting cake topper with red sharpie. You chose to wear a polka dot flamenco dress and two braids, one with a turquoise rubber band and one with a pink rubber band. Excitement and joy burst from your body. Yes, baby, I pushed you into your first breath. I couldn’t wait to meet you.

I made monogrammed muslin bags and had fun choosing a few little things for you three. Balloons, bubbles, markers, strawberry gum and — the biggest deal — sparkly tiaras and wands. The ones you always covet at the grocery store.

You girls danced through town. It was cold and bright. Your dad and I smiled so big and true, we ached. You were SO happy. All of us were. It was one of my favorite days of my life, truly. You chose this simple event that shined light on some of the things I value most: honest-to-goodness connection, imagination and simple, satisfying contentment.

You twirled and sang and held hands with your two best friends. You all floated in your own beautiful world where princesses, mermaids, fairies, magic and dance parties collided to form a Ruby-Ellie-Margot force. Every person we encountered smiled huge and wished all three of you a happy birthday. The entire restaurant, all of downtown Missoula was buoyed by your enthusiasm. By YOU, sweet girl. Every person on this planet has unique, awesome, productive power. I believe yours is bringing love to every little thing. It’s effortless and it is real. You love so good and understand that your well is bottomless. You know what brings you joy and you pick that. It bubbles up and out of you, gaining potency. You give your love and joy away indiscriminately and that, my rhubarb, moves mountains. Hold onto that gift, honey. I love you so so much.

with love,
mama

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19 Comments


Lisa Collins
November 27, 2013 at 10:10 PM

I absolutely love this, and am in awe of how you communicate your love for your girls. This is beautiful and oh so inspiring. Happy birthday to Ruby. 🙂

-Lisa
Ps: I received my digthischick order today for my 5 year old daughter–a hoodie with Washington and apple fabric. We absolutely love it, and I’m so glad I ordered. I’ll be saving up for the whole family 🙂 Thank you.



Katie
November 27, 2013 at 10:12 PM

Ruby, four? WOW. It’s been a gift to watch your daughters grow up, if only virtually. Both kids are super special in their own ways – their personalities, wants. It’s incredible. Ruby has a quiet wisdom all her own. Happiest birthday wishes to her!



Jess Malouf
November 27, 2013 at 10:18 PM

I think we spotted you and Ruby at Aubrey’s funeral. Such a sad day but also great to see her beautiful face and smile in real life. She really is a light.



Laura Baker @FitMamaLove
November 27, 2013 at 11:10 PM

I love this post, especially since we are celebrating my daughter’s first birthday on this Thanksgiving Eve. Babies’ birthdays are so magical for their mamas. Enjoy your Thanksgiving!



Kristin B
November 28, 2013 at 1:16 AM

Looked like a pretty spectacular day! And I think that you went to eat at the shack if I can remember my Missoula landmarks well enough. Best breakfast place ever!



Ali
November 28, 2013 at 3:18 AM

Nici,

Such joyful writing from the joyful mother of a joyful Ruby. I think it’s spreading smiles right across your reader population!

Best wishes from my snow-covered, sun-drenched, freezing cold Swiss Alps, (there’s no question: this Christmas will be white!)
Ali



Catherine Forest
November 28, 2013 at 8:22 AM

What a perfect day. That story reminds me of a conference I attended last week by a man who was talking about the importance of following the enthusiasm of the child. He asked the question: what would happen if that was all we did as parents: follow our children’s enthusiasm (that’s what his parents did with him, he was unschooled in France 40 years ago and is so very inspiring). Anyways, he said the exact same thing as you when he related walking in Paris with his 3 yo son and how his son’s enthusiasm touched people and changed their lives for the better. It seems so natural and easy for you to follow your daughters’ enthusiasm, to start from them and not from from. It is beautiful to witness!



    Brit
    November 28, 2013 at 5:59 PM

    Catherine, I would love to know the name of this man and if he has any resources online about his unschooling experience. That subject fascinates me!

Brit
November 28, 2013 at 5:57 PM

What a beautiful post! It’s so fun to see your birthday girl & her choices for the day. My girl is a year & a half & this makes me even more excited for the years to come. Your blog brought some sunshine into my pregnancy cry day! ;). Margot’s cake topper is perfect! And I love Ruby’s fashion choices! 🙂



Peace Love Music Grows
November 28, 2013 at 11:20 PM

Love these photos, and love the idea of parents writing things we want our children to remember for them now. I also love blogging in the car. Cheers to awesome driving husbands! Excited to see your version of Black Friday tomorrow…



Lise
November 29, 2013 at 7:49 AM

Dear Nici, I discovered your beautiful blog around the time of Ruby’s birth and have never commented before but I just wanted to say how happy these photos made me! Your daughters’ love for one another shines through and their happiness is a tribute to you and Andy.



Laura
November 29, 2013 at 10:12 AM

Gosh this us beautiful. Your girls & your family are something special. Happy birthday to you both.



Megssj
November 30, 2013 at 8:45 AM

This is such a beautiful post, I mean heart-achingly beautiful to read, even for someone who only knows you and your sparkly daughter over the ‘net. I love how your daughter chose to spend her birthday. I love the light, wonder and love that shines so clearly through, and I love how you captured it so perfectly in pictures and words. The last paragraph particularly is such beautiful prose, what a great tribute to her, she will treasure those words in the future. Thank you for sharing.



B. Holmes
November 30, 2013 at 11:08 AM

Another beautiful post! Wish I could string together such meaningful words the way you do… I think them but they don’t come out right. I was so excited to read just now, I was also with family in the same town as you for the holiday, and you may have driven right past where we live to get there too (Mt. Hood). I know it’s weird but I’m glad you are/were in Oregon. Much luv to your beautiful little family.



Shannon Green
December 2, 2013 at 1:48 PM

This stuff is awesome. I love small business owners. Y’all rock



Stacey
December 2, 2013 at 2:47 PM

Happy, happy birthday, sweet Ruby! I got just a glimpse of your loving spirit when we met a couple of months ago, and my girls still talk about how much fun they had with you that day. Keep spreading that spirit of yours far and wide, and all the world will be a better place. xo



neeeeeeekolette
December 3, 2013 at 7:36 PM

ohhhh neeeeeci. your cup. it over floweth.



jennifer
December 5, 2013 at 9:59 AM

Your love bubbles over too. Ruby is a special gift. Here’s a belated happy birthday to Ruby and a happy birth day to you.



Amy
December 5, 2013 at 10:32 AM

I dont know how I missed this post, but man, it brought tears to my eyes. Sounds like a wonderful birthday for your sweet little girl.
xo



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    I’m Nici (pronounced like Nikki) and I live in western Montana where I raise kids, vegetables and the roof.

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