Today, we shipped the last of our orders!!!! High five, cheers, heel click, herky. I hope all your loved ones adore their dig goods. We had so much fun making them, for the love of place. Thank you for supporting us and our families.
Now, I get to turn my energy to making gifts for my own people! Margot’s birthday is tomorrow and I never did finish Ruby’s birthday whale. Because mama didn’t/won’t have birthday love made on the birthdays, we will have a little solstice birthday celebration where the girls will get their gifts from me. Also, daddy bought them these sequined vinyl cat purses they’ve been coveting so I’m pretty sure they didn’t/won’t notice the lack of my hippie handmade creatures.
Margot wrote a letter to Santa asking for a little pillow and a little baby unicorn. Ruby didn’t write a letter but feels certain he just knows what she wants. Thankfully, she told me so I can pass it along. Ruby would like a giant glittery, shiny watermelon that she plans to share with our whole family on the living room floor by the fire on Christmas morning.
Also: how do you guys do/not do the Santa thing? Remember how I was all freaked out about my own childhood traumatization in finding out the TRUTH? I’m in a good place with it now. Here’s my approach: I don’t lie. So, my kids ask questions like How does Santa make it to all the homes in all the world in one night? or Does Santa live forever? or Is Santa for real REAL? And my response to it all: Hmm. What do you think? It works well for us. They form their opinions based on their imagination, not my words. We end up having some of my favorite conversations about magic, belief and hope.
My kids are so very much enamored with fairies right now. We had a visiting fairy this last summer. Her name is Lavender Fawn. She winters in Peru so we haven’t heard from her in a while. Tonight, we read a newly checked-out library book . I sat between my kids in the one single bed they choose to sleep in together every night and read this aloud
“Although fairies are indifferent to adults, they love children, for without them they would not exist. It is the children’s belief in them that keeps fairies alive. In turn, fairies…”
Margot sat up and interrupted, “Wait, what? Kids are responsible for fairies being alive? Read that again.”
I did. And continued, “In turn, fairies keep children’s belief in magic alive.”
THAT’S IT.
I do love indulging in the spirit of our family’s way of doing this holiday. Last year, Andy drug a giant wood beam across our snowy field indicating a sleigh had landed. And the whole neighborhood is talking about it, wondering if it’ll happen again this year. Santa comes and eats cookies and fills stockings. The reindeer are always messy with the carrots. Sleigh bells subtly ring from our sunroom just after the kids go to bed.
I don’t have it all figured out and I have indeed felt like my performance challenges my not-lying commitment but mostly, I have rolled with what feels right as it comes up — which is pretty much how I parent in general. I keep reminding myself that I am the only adult I know who experienced the heaviness I felt when learning Santa wasn’t a person who poofed into my living room once a year. But I can’t help but notice that my Margot is just like me in the empathetic, emotional-soul life place. I want to be careful and respectful. She’ll lead the way, I trust.
This year, this season I am even more growing into the understanding that the whole thing isn’t about me or my experience or you or your experience. It is a symbiotic relationship between belief in something you know might not be tangibly real and the magic realness that is this breath. This.
Wait, what? Read that again.
1-3: We all have ski passes this year and, on our first day out, Ruby took her first chair ride-run (not in the backpack). She even skied some powder. It was a big day; 4. Fireside sleep is my her favorite. 5. My favorite chore companion; 6. Photo by Ruby, I’m assuming; I like it; 7-8. Our neighborhood ice rink is happening; 9. Took my girls to the Nutcracker; 10-15. It doesn’t take much snow to sled; 16. My foxy husband; 17. Stringing popcorn. 18. Our new, happy front yard friend arrived anonymously with a note declaring this he is ours for the season and we are to pass it along to a neighbor next year.
ps I asked over on facebook, re: my presentation in April: If you were to come to listen to me and interact with me for a few hours about life, creativity and writing, what would you hope I’d share/offer/receive/contribute/chat about? Hop over there to contribute or do so here, if you’d like. Thanks. x
29 Comments
For Christmas my husband and I are putting together fairy house kits for both of the girls. I saw it online and thought, that looks easy, and so we’ll see how it goes over. Congratulations on Ruby’s skiing pursuits. Our ski hill opens this weekend and we are all a twitter with excitement for the new exciting phase of the winter. Looks and sounds like you’ve got life right where you want it. Merry Christmas and I hope your time together is relaxing and cozy.
Jaim
For Christmas my husband and I are putting together fairy house kits. As I was looking for gifts I saw this idea and thought, hey, I can do that, and so we are throwing together random things that may make the best fairy houses. We shall see what the girls think soon.
Congratulations on Ruby’s skiing pursuits. It’s so fun to finally ski together as a family, we LOVE it. Our little ski hill opens on Saturday and we are all a twitter with excitement. We are really looking forward to this new phase of winter. Merry Christamas and I hope your holidays are filled with relaxation and coziness.
Best,
Jaim
The link to the library book doesnt seem to be working. I would love to know the name of the book! My girl is so into fairies as well and I have been looking for a fairy book for her. I havent had much luck with ones I like but this sounds wonderful.
Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family!
Nici, just like you, I was DEVASTATED when I found out Santa wasn’t real. I remember the whole in my stomach to this day. I hated my parents for lying to me, I felt so betrayed… and the last thing I wanted was for the same thing to happen for my girls… They are now 9 and 8 and even though, they still want to believe, they know… and it all went well, because we never put too much emphasis on Santa. We lived in the Yukon (Northern Canada, beside Alaska) for the first 5 years of their lives and there, Solstice is a big deal since you can really see light coming back, so we had big Solstice celebrations, no Santa in town and never did a list to Santa or a fake Santa appearance (no judment on what you are doing, it is awesome and magical, just saying that we decided no to do it).
From 5 years on, they wanted to leave a carrot and a cookie for him (from a story book we had read) and we played along… but we always said Santa was only filling the stockings and the gifts were from us… Two years ago, we were in Costa Rica for Christmas and Santa still filled the stockings, but with local stuff and the girls started asking questions (why not color books in French so they could read them, why not our usual treats…) and we slowly started mentioning that Santa could not be everywhere, etc.
All I wanted was to slowly downplay it, so it did not come as a shock… and it worked! And I am so relieved! Follow your instincts and take your cues from your girls…!
It’s all very magical, isn’t it. I don’t really know what I believe in general anymore, but I know there is some kind of magic out there. My photos and your photos prove it. The giggles, the wind around the earth, the suns and the moons of the universe. The tops of mountains and depths of
oceans. The little hands that grow. And just every build up of every single microscopic thing. It’s all some kind of magic. I do believe in good energy and love. And Santa!
This post to me to a calm and peaceful place. A deep place apparently.
Merry Christmas to your bunch, Nici.
-Angie
My Burb, I remember, the exact place, time of year, (Easter), AND how crushed you were when you asked me about Santa…you cried in bed that night…I felt so bad. Santa is still magical to me, it’s like you know he is not real yet he lives….6 more days until we all get to see him again!
These photos are magical too…just tell the story of a beautifully happy Montana family….love you tons!
xo
ps…you and the girls at the Nutcracker, my new background image!
“You know he is not real yet he lives.”
I love that. I too haven’t really known how to approach Santa, and I too have said, “What do you think?” when my kids ask me questions. I think it’s a good approach. I like the idea that he’s real if you believe. It’s so magical.
We are obsessed with fairies at our house too! Our fairies leave notes and fairy fluff (ahem, marshmallows) on stumps outside for kids to find. So fun!
I’m so glad that I made to the Made Fair and was able to meet you! Hope you have a very Merry Christmas.
From the land of wheat and wind, Kelsie
Speaking of magic and wonder, when I was little we would find sparkly footprints made by the big jolly Santa that would appear at night from our bedrooms to the tree and we would pick them up and place them in the bathroom and they would disappear. Each year they would appear and disappear like magic. I loved that little tradition. No matter how old I am this still happens at my parents house.
Your holiday and parenting philosophy sounds just right to me. I grew up knowing Santa wasn’t real and deep down I wished he was. So I want that fantasy for my girls, but it feels a little forced to me. I like that you return the question to your girls. Children can come up with better stories anyhow.
I always want to move to Montana after reading your posts, but I know Washington is home. You inspire me to dig deeper into my own beautiful place.
You’re going to be in my neck of woods! Man, I would love to hang and chat writing at Doe Bay with you! It’s not realistic with a breastfeeding baby who won’t take a bottle, but a girl can dream! /i’m sure you will rock it.
Santa is as real as that perfect summer’s eve when all is right with the world, as our confidence in our friends to come through for us, as the strength in the lighting of candles, as the realization of an impossible task. We have chosen a jolly image for Santa, for we often trust our eyes more than our hearts in the enterprise of magic and other domains, but Santa IS real!!!
xo
This. This is so true! Thanks, wife, for always managing to so eloquently distill this big life feast into the perfect bite. x
LOVE the sledding pictures! Priceless 🙂
My daughter (now 18) learned from friends or at school about Santa. She kept demanding to know if it was me. I would only respond, with a knowing smile or twinkle in my eye, that Santa exists if you believe in him – and didn’t she want to continue receiving gifts from Santa? In a way, what I was trying to say is – isn’t life more fun with Santa than without him? She finally “got” what was going on and gave up asking me…instead laughing with me when I would continue answering the same way. And that way Santa continues to this day with stockings and little gifts.
I love your mailbox. I remember reading about it when you first got it but had forgotten how wonderful it is!
And the joy on your girls’ faces radiates through these screens! So wonderful
We’ve chosen to ‘tell the truth’ about Santa at our house. We talk about Santa as a fun story we like to pretend at Christmas time. To people who really get into Santa, that probably sounds very dull but really the kids still have fun with it. We read books about Santa and talk about him but don’t go all out. We also include some of the origins of the Santa story…St Nicholas being kind to children etc… We have lots of other family traditions around the holidays so I think the Magic and Wonder still alive and well in their lives.
It is a little bit like when we read a favourite book (Goldilocks for example). They know Goldlilocks didn’t really eat the 3 Bears’ porridge but they still fully enjoy the fun and wonder of the tale.
This works for us. We approach the tooth fairy in the same way. By the way, the kids understand never to tell their peers who believe in Santa that he is pretend.
So fun to share in your holiday/winter activities! One of these years we will have Christmas with You!
XO,
Aunt Penne
there’s just so much to discuss. like, where can one read about this santa truth trauma?! I actually can’t recall when and how i learned the truth about santa. i think there were many clues along the way and it just seemed to come to light over time. This will be our second year (half-assedly) (wait, that’s not a word) playing santa. our little ones don’t seem to have much invested in the tale of the Clauses et al, and we just kind do the same as you said, just go with the moment. It seems like there is an innocence in my sons that I have conflict with taking advantage of, but at the same time not wanting to corrupt with my grown up knowings. Basically, I tell my four year old that it’s all apart of the magic of the season and that it’s a wonderful story like Peter Pan. Anyway, that faerie book reading moment is just TOO much! kids are great.
lastly, i’m realizing in seeing this lovely fireside nap in conjunction with the sledding/snow play that i am not getting my kids out enough to wear them out!!! we have got to get cold weather braver over here….
ok. that’s m’story.
I tried to find the post where I wrote about it. Maybe it was on mamalode? I’ll keep digging. Come to doe bay and we’ll char about all this and more!
I was brought up in a Christian home and told from the beginning it wasn’t true but I feel it helps just to say to the kids that it’s fun to believe in magical things whether it’s Santa or Spider-Man or fairies….kids don’t seem to question wheather Disney characters are true they just except that it’s fun to pretend so I thought that approach may be better. My mum said parents should never lie to children because it breaks trust between parent and child and although I agree it’s sad not to join in the fun at christmas time….anyway looks like you are doing a great job with your girls, happy Xmas x
We raised our boys with the idea of magical thinking. Only truth and wonderment at the magic of Santa/Christmas spirit/Life. It was much more interesting to envision their ideas instead of some pre-determined version.
Since there a life-size Santa didn’t exist until the 1930’s with a Coca-cola advertisement, we avoided the whole shopping mall Santa. If we saw someone dressed as Santa, I explained that some people love the magic of Santa so much that they want to recreate it for others.
To this day, our boys, as teenagers, still refer to the ‘magic of Christmas’.
When I found out about Santa, I was pissed. Like…mega pissed. I cried and yelled. I was so mad at my mom for lying to me, haha (for some reason, none of the blame went to my dad…). My poor mama. I think your approach is a great one.
What is “herky”?
Well if you google it you will see an image list of a yellow bird mascot, which is funny. Apparently, I meant “herkie” which is a cheerleading jump. If you google that you will see all kinds of awesome 80s jumping photos.
Nici, you are seriously one of the neatest people I know. Love these updates and watching your family and how you work with you daughters and everything. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Hi Katie! Oh, sister. You are one of the very first bloggers I ‘met’! I absolutely adore hearing from you. And, clicking on through to your space to catch up. It’s been too long. xoxo
Well, I just read Kelle’s post so I came over here to rub salt into my wounds.
But then I got caught up in all this snowy sister magic and I forgot to be forlorn about the writing workshop…
But NOW, I just remembered.
So, you know…
Just tell me this: Will there be pickled bean martinis?
(Did I just make up the pickled part???)
xo
Oh yes to the martinis. And yes to the pickled part. Saving a special one for you one of these fine fine days.
Well, I just read Kelle’s post so I came over here to rub salt into my wounds.
But then I got caught up in all this snowy sister magic and I forgot to be forlorn about the writing workshop…
But NOW, I just remembered.
So, you know…
Just tell me this: Will there be pickled bean martinis?
(Did I just make up the pickled part???)
I felt nervous too about lying and them being sad when they find out. And I have taken the exact same approach as you. Its working well. The magic and excitement in our house right now is convincing me it is right for us xxxx
Happy Christmas!